Hi, I married a very good American man this past may, I am not American and I was a reluctant to marry him as Ive heard many bad things about the US in my homecountry, but he told me it was just a misconception.
Ive talk about this concern of mine with my mother in law and grandpa in law, both born and raised in this country, and have told me that the US used to be a friendly place, but that with iits fast paced life has become impersonal. They live in a small town an suposedly small towns the friednliest.
I feel extremly scared and sad about all this, Ive lived in Katy, TX for about a year and the people in my apartment complex are not aproachable at all. This has been an extremly lonely experience.
I am growing sad and lonely by the day.
I am gong to have a baby girl next year and feel sad cause I dont want her to grow in such an impersonal place I want her to experience loving kidness of others so she grows up happy.
What suggestions can you give me?
2006-12-08 07:58:37 · 12 answers · asked by Alejandra 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
the thing with larger cities and america in general, is that we are all so consumed with work and our lives that we forget how to extend a smile or kind word.
i think you will find that if you talk to people they will make time for you, but you have to be the first one to extend the smile. ahve you tried baking some cookies and taking them to your neighbor's. it's a nice way to strike up a conversation and perhaps they will invite you in to share a cup of coffee and a cookie. or invite some neighbors over for a dinner or just dessert and coffee social. if it's warm there, then maybe a cookout.
my husband is in the military, so we move quite a bit. i am lucky, though, b/c in the military we all kind of take care of each other. so, people are friendly and outgoing to each other b/c we are all in the same boat.
what i recommend to you is ask your husband who his friends are. does he have any married friends that you could have over for dinner?? do you work?? how about volunteering somewhere, like a hospital or nursing home??? when you volunteer somewhere you are not only helping others you are helping yourself! how about a church or religious group??
there are places to meet people and make friends, but they aren't going to just knock on your door. you have to seek them out:)
take care and i hope you find happiness here.
2006-12-08 08:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
each and everything in u . s . a . of america is bypass-bypass. we favor our foodstuff quickly, and our techniques even faster. As an american that has traveled the international (not too many places, yet France, England and India) I have had a uncommon chance to ensure what different cultures are like. I even lived with a kinfolk in France for over a 365 days to ensure what different cultures were like. We as individuals have an attitude of "we are more advantageous suited than you in each and every way, so why might want to I even attempt to benefit some thing about you?" Your question doesn't have an elementary answer - all i am going to assert is that a million. certain, some are egotistical and superficial 2. certain, maximum individuals are more advantageous in contact interior the "properly 40 Billboard Toppers" than Bach or Beethoven. 3. And certain, maximum individuals do not care to benefit some thing more advantageous than what's equipped interior the morning newspaper. There are some human beings that somewhat do although fee a good e book, a Mozart symphony, and getting to comprehend more advantageous than is given to them in a million minute on the radio.
2016-11-30 08:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I'm sorry your experience in America has been a sad one. I would suggest, if it is possible, to move to a suburb where there are lots of children. When I have lived in the suburbs I found a lot of people that were friendly (all ages) and neighbors helped each other. Parts of America are still like that. The problem with apartment living is that there is no true area to socialize in and no way to really get to know people. In a neighborhood, you can take walks and meet people. You also have neighborhood groups that you can join.
I guess my overall recommendation is to move away from the apartment into a real neighborhood community.
2006-12-08 08:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well some places are shallow. Like a lot of the oc which is where i live, but even there are good people. So i believe pretty much every city of the us has good friendly people in it. You just have to get out and meet people. By the way a lot of people in texas are very friendly, try going to various social events.
2006-12-08 08:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself have to agree with your mother n law & grandpa. small country life living seems to be more friendly too me. I' was born and raised a small of my childhood in Oklahoma but raised as a army brat and army wife. I have lived over 17 places. Even overseas for 6yrs. I now live outside of Boston and when I first went a convience store they looked at me like I was going to steal something. And it still happens. no smile no how are you no nothing. Now small towns in Oklahoma and other places I've lived my goodness you walk in and they want to know how you are..AND I mean they really want to know.... and young teenagers actually oopen the door for you & even call you maam..Just my opinion
2006-12-08 08:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by Wahya 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I was born in America but lived in another country during my childhood. Where I lived everyone was kind and friendly, everyone felt like they were part of my family. When I came to America, people were different.....I was sad too, because people here are not as kind as I would like them to be. If you are not happy here then do what you feel is best for you and your family. Even so Its not that bad here in America, people are nice, it may be different but its not terrible.....and yes America has become more shallow and superficial.
2006-12-08 08:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by angelus 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first, do not try to make freinds with everybody as i have been there. second dont just come up to someone introduce yourself and think they will like you as they have to know you better first. why dont you take a class or join a group to meet freinds that way and dont take it fast get to know them first. dont worry about your daughter either as america is not as shallow and superficial as you think it is and neither are some people.
2006-12-08 08:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each American family is different, if you want a loving environment you must create one, familys grow... just don't let yours grow apart.
2006-12-08 08:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by carkegaard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't make friends if you don't get over your negative thoughts about the US. Be friendly and nice to people and they will do the same for you.
2006-12-08 08:03:16 · answer #9 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, impersonal and not friendly
even when all you do or try to do is be friendly
make dinner, invite the neighbors, see what sticks they have up their butts, maybe invite em again, maybe not
maybe move to a friendlier place
2006-12-08 08:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋