I am having some problems with my husband, or should I say fiance cause we're not legally married yet but have been living together for over a year now..... So that would make us common-law husband and wife. Lately our sex drive has plummetted severely.... And he doesn't seem to care much about his appearance. I ask him to dress himself a little better and to please shave the beard he recently started growing (I hate facial hair). He's even started to put on a little weight, probably from the six pack he drinks every night. I'm certain that he is not cheating on me because he is home with me every day on his days off and is never home late after work. He never asks to go out with his friends. He's almost perfect, except for the recent problems previously mentioned. I love him very much but don't seem to find myself as attracted to him since his recent decision to just stop caring about his appearance. Help???
2006-12-08 07:54:35 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well...I'm not married; but in response to your question I would say that you should take matters into your own hands...try planning/making him a romantic dinner not devoid of any of the romantic stuff. Go all out...get candles, line the entrance with rose petals (artificial petals will do), work your aroma therapy, and cook one of his favorite meals (or order in, but put it on your own dishware). You can even make it more romantic by leaving him notes around the house that will lead him to where you are...then over dinner just enjoy him. At some point you were head over heals over him make him feel like that again tonight. You never know at times with men what they may be going through that they have not been sharing with you...so for this night be his lover/friend...and also let him know how much you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him....hopefully after following your spontaneous move he will let you know what's on his mind on his own...but remember not to pressure him that night...he will definitely come to you as you simply open up to him. If all goes well...we have a winner then you begin to work on the ephemeral things like the sex drive and weight gain together. If not, (hopefully all does go well) on the other hand you are not married yet and you can begin to reevaluate where you want to be. Good Luck....;)
2006-12-08 08:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by fashionista2901 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baji ji, I am very sorry to hear your marriage problem. The most marriage are like that on and off. I am married for 1 year and 4 months hamdullallah so we always went like on and off as I mean once we argument and other time we making a love. He is also my cousin. I don't know what up to your husband. I am sure there must be something reason that he don't communicate with you. I also know that your husband doesn't love you in that way. Try to sit with him and talking with him very nicer way and ask him what situation problem he have. Ask him a question as much you can. Which you think it important you to ask. Beware, it might be somebody have put the black magic on your husband as it happen load people have a problem over the moneys, the marriage, the house, the relationship, can't have a baby and etc. You need to find out about it if he have or not. Inshallah Allah (SWT) will be fix your marriage work and give plenty love between you and your husband, Ameen, Baji...
2016-05-23 07:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Common Law Marriage:
an agreement between a man and woman to live together as husband and wife without any legal formalities, followed and/or preceded by cohabitation on a regular basis (usually for seven years). Common-law marriage is legal in Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas and Utah
So no you are not married. What you need to do is sit down with him and ask him what is bothering him and why the sudden change
2006-12-08 07:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has several symptoms of depression along with alcoholism. Symptoms including no motivation, lack of personal hygiene, and gaining weight. If you want him to get better he will need to quit drinking first and then see if there is some depression there that needs to be dealt with. If he is not willing to do either then you are faced with the choice of living with him as he is or leaving. Neither of which are easy to do.
Btw, living together no longer makes you common-law married in the vast majority of the states.
2006-12-08 08:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by brighterdayscounseling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your husband is suffering from depression. Quite Often when someone is going through a personal crisis, they don't reach out to other people as they are scared/ashamed of their problem. See a counsellor/marriage therapist together, this may help resolve your problems. Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel concerned that he is letting himself go (for health reasons) and that you should go on a fitness program together, go to the gym, walk (what ever, anything to get him out of the house). Most of all, be patient as there is no quick fix to your problem ..... If you really love him, you will see this through together. Good luck.
2006-12-08 08:02:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married then, because he will only get uglier as he grows old. I imagine he drinks a 6 pack a night to put up with your attempts to change him. Not sure why you care about beer if you are smoking pot.
If you don't love him the way he is, you don't love him.
As for being married, it's not common law until 7+ years depending on your state.
2006-12-08 07:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to find out what is going on with you bf mental health. If you are married you have to communicate in order to have an effective marriage. Let him know how you feel about his actions lately and together come up with some solutions. Common-law marriage you usually have to be living together between7-10 years it vary from state to state.
2006-12-08 08:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds depressed to me. Secondly, who are you to demand him to shave his facial hair because you don't like it? Grow up. I'm sure there are things he hates about you!!
Many states if not all have gotten rid of common law marriage. Drinking is an escape from something that is going on in his life. If you love him, than try to talk to him, you'd encourage him instead of being this demanding, whining mate.
2006-12-08 08:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by spanky1492 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy - cut off the sex - when he asks why you're not in the mood, tell him that he's become a slob and you're just not turned on at all; if he really cares, he'll snap out of his funk before he loses you for good.
If he doesn't even start to make an effort in six months, he's dead weight and it's time to move on.
2006-12-08 07:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i have the anser to all your questions and concerns----it called being COMFORTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! he's so comfortable withy outath now that you live together he doens't think he needs to lok good for you or give you any lovin. Do this- go to the gym- eat healthy, Try to look and stay as fit as you can and suggest that he goes to work out with you. Clean him fron his beer money and that will help too! Try to cook more healthier meals so he doens't gain too much weight
2006-12-08 07:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋