Please help I want to leave my husband?

Question

I'm from Michigan. I want to leave and separate my husband and move to California; but I want to do it without knowing him because I'm afraid he might do harm on me. What grounds can he file against me. Can he filed abandonment against me? I want to start my life free. I love my husband; but I don't think we can make our relationship straighten because his plans are for his grown up kids. He don't treat me as his wife; I felt like I'm treated as a domestic helper. I'm on my permanent resident here in US and not yet US Citizen. We married in good faith and I love him, God knows that; but I always feel hurt because he never treated me as his wife. He still love his ex-wife and his full attention are with his grown up kids and ex-wife not on me. What will I do? Can he filed for deportation against me and sent me back home to my country? Can he filed abandonment against me? I don't want to do against the law here in US as much as possible I just want to have a good life :-(

I had asked many times in this site and I know some will say I married my husband because of "green card" or citizenship NO YOU'RE WRONG!!!. We married in good faith I love him; I just want to leave and know if he really loves me and leave him and let him know that I'm his wife.

I hope you understand me because I don't have any options rather than to leave my husband I think of that a lot of times because he always loan for money whenever his adult kids 29 to 33 years old needs money. He cannot say no. As a wife I'm already included with my husband's debt. My husband always cheated on me on money. He transfer his debts on my name he thought that I'm innocent came from other country who don't know about credit card. He even applied me life insurance for 150,000 dollars and his beneficiary is him. What will you think about that? He wants me to die so that he can give money to his adult children whom he say because Black People don't have future here on earth were being discriminated. I'm from Asia he thought I'm ignorant. That's why I noticed he went to my country and marry me he thought I'm ignorant he can do whatever he wants to do against me. Now he is angry because I called credit card and insurance company and remove my name and disconnect my life insurance

Answer 1

You don't say how long you have been married. I don't think abandonment is a charge one can file against another adult. I think you should be asking a lawyer these questions. You need an expert's opinion.

Answer 2

Hello girlie, i hope you're doing okay. Be strong and try to have a clear thinking during this ordeal. Believe you me, you'll be fine. Sometimes in life we go through experiences to make us stronger. Best thing for you to do is find a good lawyer. Don't use your husband's lawyer if he has one. Having your own lawyer will help put your mind at ease as to what steps you need to do. You mentioned that you have some fears that he might harm you, that means he had already made attempts to harm you, or has already physically harmed you? You know this is againts the law right? Your husband can do time for this. How long have two been married? Do you have families in California? If so, families or good friends are the best places to seek refuge in a time like this. Give yourself a break. You'll be able to sort things out properly. Good luck. I'll be here if you need a friend.

Answer 3

I wish I had advice for you, but I really don't know. I came here on a spouse visa, too - many years ago. The person I was married to turned out to be mentally ill, and was physically abusive, so I left after a year (had to call the cops and get him arrested, he was violent). I didn't get deported or anything like that; I filed for my permanent green card when it came time, and went through an interview. No one gave me a hard time or anything, I simply told them what happened. I don't know what can be done in your case, or what the rules are nowadays. It's a shame your husband doesn't treat you well... I'm sure he feels that because you're dependent on him for your legal status he can do whatever he wants. You can try and call INS to see what your options are, or consult an immigration attorney - or simply leave, file for divorce and see what happens.

Answer 4

How long have you been married? Call immigration and ask these questions from someone that can give you the proper advise, not a group of people that go with their gut feelings. You need legal advise not chad room advise. Especially if you are concerned he will harm you. Also, new wife's always feel the x-wife's are a threat. If you love him as you say you do and you think he loves you and he DOESN'T hurt you, then join in and get more involved with the x and his kids and make yourself a part of the family. You are being treated or acting like an outsider is that your doing or his?

Answer 5

Well, I think that you should consult the INS..and they do have some kind of a visa that you could apply for when you are in an abusive situation. Not only physical, but mental abuse as well. They can protect you. Once you find that out, then just leave and never look back. If he's been physically hurting you, you need to go to the police and have copies of the complaints that you have made for proof once you get divorced...I would also consult an attorney and see how you can avoid him filing abandonment charges against you.

Good luck...

Answer 6

Love takes many shapes and forms with people.Being a cook and cleaner in a relationship is just part of a relationship. I know I used to do that for my boyfriend along with working a full-time job while he stayed home and did nothing.I felt bad. While I loved him ,I did not like his habits of not doing anything around the house to help me. We parted and I felt sad, but now that it is 5 years i feel so much better as he was dragging me down with his former wife and kids and their daily interactions.
I knew I did not want her and the kids in my life.
I now have a nice person and he and i communicate alot better.
Love comes in many shapes and sizes and habits.

Answer 7

I hope you have papers to be here because you are going to need them to get legal aid. He can file abandonment against you if you leave and not let him know where you went. However, if you are being abused or fear for your life, a judge can grant you and exparte order and that will allow you to seperate without punishment. Do this the correct way so you won't get in trouble and get deported. Good luck and GOD bless you.

Answer 8

you can have a good life without him, I'm not one to advocate a marriage ending. in your Case you need to get away soon as you can. you will not be breaking the law to leave, if he wants to divorce you he can fill abandonment which will make it easy for him to move on. you should not be concern about that because you want out. you will not be deported, just make sure you have your business in order. make sure you have enough money when you leave and do it when he is gone. take only what you need, make sure you have a plan. let him have his family okay.

Answer 9

Have you tried talking to him and explaining the way you feel?
If you love each other, leaving should not be the ONLY possible solution, specially if this may represent you leaving the country.

Answer 10

because of the way he treats you thats not a reson to leave him. that what we call running away form our problems if you love your husband talk to him like a person instead of running out on him casue you want to be a little kid and if he was still in love with his exwife why did he marry you why didn't he try to get his ex-wife back. talk to him say you haven't been treating me like your equal i want you to treat me like im your partner in life. tell him you want to do thing with him. and after you talk and he doesn't change then tell him im going to leave for a couple of weeks and when you come back you wnat to know if he wnats you in his life as his partner or you can get divorced and then go your seprate ways.