I am very unhappy in the United States?

Question

I married a good american man but I now feel very dissapointed, people where I live are very impersonal, not very aproachable, the TV is full of materialism and shallow mindness, the music is the same, its been such a lonely experience that I am getting sick, I do not want to end the relationship cause I am having a baby girl and breaks my heart to separate her from his father, yet I want her to experience the loving kidness of the people in the country I grew up in. My life is becoming by the day less and less meaningful.

I dont meant to offend anybody, I just want to speak with the truth, at least mine, and look for a solution to my suffering,
I appreciate the kind suggestions of some of you, I really dont want to give up and move to my homecountry if it is not necessary, I dont want to desintegrate my little family.
I want to know what it takes to have a meaningful life in this country.

I feel really scared cause my family in law is American, they've lived their life in a small town in Texas all their life and my mother in law and grandfather in law told me that the american society used to be friendly but that now that is more fast paced and people work a lot, there is little room for friends. My mother in law, grandfather in law and husband constantly complain of people.

Answer 1

Have you told this to your husband? have you tired approaching other people? America is the way it is because there are too many people from too many different cultures that are afraid to break the ice and make the first move by saying "hey let's be friends!"
There are many things that YOU can do to make your life more meaningful. There are a great many oppurtunities to make something meaningful for yourself not just in this country but any country. It just requires you to make the first move. Try finding people with a smiliar hobbies, faith, or language group. These may be simplistic answers but I am certain that if you persist you'll be pleasantly surprised! You are one step a head because you speak the local langauge and you can use the internet to "connect."
So in short never surrender to sadness, depression, or loneliness. Life is worth Living!

Answer 2

I can't believe how terrible most of the answers are. Some people have no empathy.

I moved to a new country as well and tried to set up a new life. I understand how hard it is to find new friends and feel welcome in a new land.

Let me assure you that there are many friendly kind Americans even if the sample on this site says otherwise. Here are things I did to help feel more comfortable in my new home. 1)Join a club, it doesn't matter which one it is as long as you enjoy it. It could be a book club, a sewing group or like my self a dart team.

2) If the area you live in has a community center, get involved. You will start to meet good people in you area.

Get your husband to invite his married friends over for dinner so you can meet them, You might just get some friends that way.

As for your in-laws, best of luck. I don't know anyone that has been able to to deal with in-laws well.

I hope you found this helpful.

Answer 3

The isolation peple complain of in a nation of more than 300 million is surely self-imposed. If you are the opposite of impersonal, unapproachable, materialistic, shallow-minded, etc., then be part of the solution. Be a community volunteer. Be the person that reaches out to others and makes their isolation bearable. Hundreds of thousands of elderly Americans have no family and are all alone. Volunteer for an hour a week with "Meals on Wheels." Visit folks in a nursing home. Volunteer at a hospital (half the people working there are probably immigrants like you). Be part of the solution: a joiner, a mover, and a shaker. Or if you prefer to be a whiner, then go back home. America's quota for whiners was filled many years ago.

Answer 4

Like someone else on here said, it might be a good idea to move to a different location within the U.S. Or, maybe you could try talking to the people who aren't that approachable; maybe they're just that way because they haven't gotten to know you yet. Many Americans tend to want to stay within their comfort zones. Another thing you could do is to get your husband to introduce you to some of his friends' wives, since you'd already have some sort of a connection with them through him.

The music may be all the same on TV, but that's only because that's what's popular now. There's lots of music that goes unrecognized because it's not mainstream. Since you have access to the Internet, you might try looking on Limewire or another site like that to browse different kinds of songs.

At any rate, you might like America a little more the longer you are here. There's good people and good music out there, but they're not often easily found. Good luck with whatever you do, and I hope you start feeling better about your life soon.

Also, I'm sorry you have to hear some of these comments like "Go back to where you came from" from some of the people on this forum. A lot of them probably don't know what it's like to be lonely living in a strange place.

Answer 5

You may find that you have trouble leaving the country with an AMERICAN CHILD! If your husband says no, you're stuck either staying here and giving the US a chance or going back wherever paradise you seem to believe you came from without the child.

Answer 6

you can try having your baby girl visit the country where you grew up. she can experience what it is like, and she can make up her mind about if she wants to live there. as far as your home in the U.S. goes, some places are better than others. while one part of the country might seem shallow and materialistic, there are other places in the U.S. where the people are more supportive of each other and that of a family environment. the U.S. is so big. i hope you are able to find a place that you can call home.

Answer 7

maybe you should try to visit your home country some time soon. It might just be home sickness.

But if you want your kid to experience the country you grew up in maybe you can ask your husband relocate with you

if that can't happen maybe you guys can make plans that when ever you have vacation time you spend it in your home land. this way your daughter will experience your country on a regular bases and it could help ease your home sickness

Answer 8

I've lived my entire life in the United States, and in many ways I agree with you. The good thing about this country, though, is that if there are things you don't like, you can work to change them. Talk to your husband, your friends, and those institutions with which you have issues and see what can be done to improve things.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to hear that you are not happy, Not everyone here in America is what you are seeing on TV or what you are experiencing. There are some out there that would welcome you as a friend, they are just a little harder to find.
I know that I have heard this from my sister-in-law that when she visits her family in Italy that they are all about the family and caring for others. And I'm sorry to say that it isn't really like that here in America.
Maybe talk to your husband and tell him how unhappy you are, who knows, he may move. :-)

Answer 10

Life is too short to live in misery. Each has his/her own preference. Some people who come to the U.S. from other countries find it a fabulous place and appreciate the many things that this country has to offer, others like yourself feel depressed and isolated. I would really advise you to move to a multi-cultural state like California and to try and be more positive with your attitude towards people.