Don't want the hospital...?

Question

Me and my boyfriend were thinking about trying for a baby in a couple of years but I'm really scared about having to go into hospital. I don't want an espisiotomy, or any interference at all really...so I think I'd be better with a home birth but my mother insists that if it's your first child then you should have it in a hospital just in case something goes wrong.

What should I do?

Answer 1

Well, it is a little early to think about that but, I agree with her. I just had my first and I tore and I had her at 35 weeks( she had to stay in the NICU for a day. I would suggest to do it on your second child but if you REALLY WANT TO then decide in the end of your preg. so you can see if you are having any problems before hand. If you have a troublesome pregnancy then you need the hospital but if not Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I too wanted a home birth, my husband insisted on a hospital and I'm forever grateful he did - while I was pushing, my daughter's blood pressure and heart rate plummeted. Within three minutes, I was in the OR and my daughter (now three years old and perfectly healthy) was born via C-section. Had I been at home, she would have died.

I understand your concerns - I wanted no interventions either and was really off-put by my idea of the hospital environment (sterile, un-inviting), however, when I was there, I was actually pleasantly surprised. The birthing suite was very cozy and homy, I could listen to my own music - it wasn't at all what I expected.

Having said this, I've a number of friends who've given birth at home and have raved about the expereince, but from someone who narrowly averted a worst-case scenario, I'd recommend that you have at least your first baby in a hospital.

Answer 3

If you want a home birth and don't have any problems then that is fine. Just make sure that you get regular prenatal care from a qualified midwife. I have 2 children and had an episiotomy with the first and tore with the 2nd. I didn't have drugs with either child. I would recommend an episiotomy it hurt less than tearing. But if you don't want one then that is your right, you certainly don't need to have one. Just keep an open mind. You mom will probably feel better if she knows that you are having good prenatal care and if you want to have a home birth that's great, just reassure your mom you will go to the hospital if the need should arise.

Answer 4

I feel that you should do what you want ,

But Also you need to look out for your safety. If something happened during your Home Birth , there is a Chance that You an the Baby could not make it to a real Hospital in time.

Again it's all Your Choice. Do what you feel is best. When i had my first baby in 2001 , I had the baby at 3:24pm , an We Both went Home that same night at 10pm.

Answer 5

Well, you need to consult with your OB first. I was very particular during my pregnancy and labor as well. No one EVER questioned my decisions (as far as hospital personnel and doctors go). No matter who you are, or where you are, some women just NEED an episiotomy! For some women, if they don't get one, they will tear anyway and it would be worse. You'll just have to consult with your doctor on that one.
As for home births, go for it if you feel its the right thing to do. I had a friend who has had two successful home births. But I urge you to keep the hospital an option, that way JUST IN CASE something goes wrong, it won't be a big deal to go.

Answer 6

You might like this book:

"The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth"

http://www.hencigoer.com/betterbirth/

It is not anti-hospital per se, but nicely anti-intervention, and does discuss birthing options outside of a hospital. There're birthing 'centres,' too, and some hospitals are a little nicer than you'd think; it's not just your living room or an OR these days.

Read up on midwifery, doulas, birth plans, etc -- you have _years_ in which to sort it out, so don't stress.

Answer 7

I have the same fear. I'm due on December 18th with my first and my nerves are killing me. I also decided to do a home birth with a midwife and all. My fiance doesn't think its safe but i'm telling him other wise. Put it this way, home birth there is u, your husband and any other family members and a midwife you'll get to know. Instead of a hospital with like 3 nurses who dont know your name, telling you to push and your doctor sayin lets get this kid out before i go on my lunch break. Another thing is they'll proabally put u on a bunch of IV's with no purpose one for this and one for that, At home maybe a epidural or an IV or you can be brave and have no drugs and natural (like me). Pick which ever one YOU feel comfortable with not what other people say, i know they mean well but its your body not theirs. Good Luck - Kayla

Answer 8

Even if it's a home birth and there's a doc there or nurses they still could snip you. I was scared out of my mind of having an espisiotomy, but i didn't even feel it. If they baby is having a hard time coming out then that's what you have to do.
I would say now-a-days with all the risks involved in labor and delivery, the smart choice is to be where quick care and proper tools can be accessed quickly if something went wrong.
It's your choice though. good luck

Answer 9

Do what is right for you, not your mother. If you go to the hospital and you are not medically minded you will regret it. I regret transferring after 3 days of labour.

FYI anyone that comes near your vagina with a scalpel should be punched in the face, thrown from the room and brought up on assault charges. I am not kidding, that is the ONLY reasonable reaction. There is never a reason for an espisiotomy.

Answer 10

I would want to be in the hospital and will be for my first child in April. I know hospitals are not always fun and can be somewhat incomfaortable and scary...but I want my baby to be near doctors and emergency care in case needed. No matter how good your pregnancy goes...things can happen to you and the baby during birth...as in you may have to a emergency c-section. Babies can pass away even in the hospial...but I want them there in case they need extra help!!!!