Why do people get married? If a parachutes failed 58% of the time, skydiving wouldn't be a sport!?

Question

Why do people continue to attempt an institution that is flawed in surviving todays society?

We all know a few successes, but we ALL know many more failures... why the denial?

Answer 1

Because 42% still survives, and maybe its better to take that chance, than have a 0% chance.

Plus the statistics are influenced by extremely young couples, and stupid or drunk marriages (or both - Britney Spears)

Answer 2

Happily married for 10 years! If everyone kept this phrase in mind: marriage is giving 100% and expecting 0 back. That's what my hubby and i live by, well, that plus putting God and His commandments before each other. It works. Society today thinks marriage is about being married, or having a sex partner when needed. But, not taking marriage as a serious, loving commitment--people begin to get bored with the person or fed up. It's a lot of work, but if you married for the right reason, it's worth it. Like my grandpa said at his 50th wedding anniversary when someone asked him how he stayed married for so long, he responded with, "I kept telling her I loved her and she was always right!" :)

Answer 3

The problem isn't in the institution. The problem is that people aren't willing to be responsible for their actions, and in particular they expect marriage to be responsible for "fixing" something in their lives.

Well, guess what, folks -- marriage really IS just something you say. It doesn't fix anything or solve anything, unless YOU are willing to be responsible for what you say your life and in particular your partnership is about.

Your question points out exactly what I'm talking about -- you're pushing off responsibility for success or failure on marriage. And that's not where it belongs -- the responsibility belongs on the people in the relationship. A more accurate phrasing of your example would be, "If people didn't pull the rip cord 58% of the time, skydiving wouldn't be a sport!"

I don't fully expect this to make sense to you, because the avoidance of responsibility is so ingrained, so automatic, so subconscious in most people that they cannot see what I'm talking about. It takes a phenomenal event for most people to realize that the finger on the trigger that's been shooting them in the foot is their own. (I remember with preternatural clarity the instant when I saw this about myself.)

So let me answer your question with another question... Your life is the way it is because of the choices you've made, the way you've been, the things you value and choose to pursue. Nothing wrong with it -- this is emphatically NOT a moral issue, because some book somewhere said that people have to do this.

It's a question about what kind of life you're willing to have. My guess, from your question, is that you've had a life where you start things, then something distracts you or something changes, and you make that distraction or change responsible for your actions. By your own statistics, you have a 58% chance of this applying to you.

So, what would your life be like if you could commit to something -- not out of a sense of obligation, not like it's some dumb thing you gotta do, not as a way of signing on to resentment and frustration and being trapped.

What if making a commitment provided you with a sense of the power it gave you to keep on in the face of obstacles, to have your life work out the way you say, just because you said so?

It takes courage. It takes compassion. It takes a partner who's willing to hold you to your commitment -- and again, not as some thing you gotta do or a promise you made, but because your partner is working as hard as you are to create something that you both believe is bigger, more valuable, more precious and more powerful than either of you could build alone.

And of course, if you don't find a partner like that, you can always make that responsible for not living this way. Humans love easy outs. They make us look good -- they make us right -- they let us pass the responsibility off onto someone or something else. Not my fault my life didn't work out...

But... what if you could say, this is how my life is going to be, and then you lived as if what you said had power to cause your life to be that way? What if the way you want to live your life gave you the courage to take responsibility for making it be that way?

I'll give you a simple first step on the way to living this way. Whenever you're in a conflict or a stressful situation or an important life choice, ask yourself these simple questions:

What can I be responsible for in this matter? And what can I do to fulfill on that responsibility?

Explore that, and you'll begin moving out of the failed 58%.

Answer 4

The problem isn't the institution, which was instituted by God, it man because man fails at 100% of what he tries to do and cannot complete any task perfectly does not mean that any task is not good in and of itself. Common sense will tell you that but, perhaps that shouldn't come into this equation since many people believe that died several decades ago, maybe that's what happened to marriage.

Answer 5

This got here approximately to a chum of mine in December 2005. His chute opened, then for sure a wind shift brought about it to break down, yet he have been given 0.5 of it open back, went right into a spin, and took the final one hundred ft (10 memories) at freefall. He landed in a plowed field, which replaced into fortunate, because of fact if he had landed interior the drop zone, it would have been like landing on cement (that's packed floor and we hadn't had rain in a protracted time). From what i replaced into instructed, he went 3 ft into the floor. Broke one leg from the knee to the hip (has a rod in there now) fractured or broke a vertebra (he replaced into in a back brace for 6 months), have been given 20 stitches in his lip, had some techniques bleeding that they have got been given below administration, and definitely have been given DAMNED fortunate. final October they had to re-wreck his leg because of fact it hadn't healed wisely, yet a minimum of he's up and walks with a cane. the information I have been given from conversing with him, the way he landed (on his section) helped save his life, and the shown fact that the 1st responders did no longer roll him onto his back saved him from being paralyzed. i might think of that landing flat on your back could be undesirable, because of fact that's the place the %. is, and your backbone does not hit the floor flat - it would bend (and in all probability wreck) over the sting of the %.?

Answer 6

People don't go into with the idea of failure. They go into it with the idea of success and wanting to have the deepest possible commitment to another person. They want to demonstrate the highest virtues of human nature fidelity, good will, love and friendship.

As far as the risk sure there is risk in most important things. I would rather take the risk and fail then to never risk at all.

Answer 7

Why do people jump off bridges with big rubber bands tied to there leg? It looked like fun from the ground!
But after taking all the yanking and jerking around you just have to cut the line or chew off the leg!

PS Scott F Get a hobby!

Answer 8

it's not denial.
it's lack of effort. people have stopped realizing that life can be hard. people want instant gratification and don't stop to think about their choices.
i married my husband for life. i told him that i don't believe in divorce and he better understand that our marriage will not always be easy, but the best part is that we have each other to depend on for the rest of our lives.

being married is like always having your best friend right there with you. no matter what your spouse is there to back you up. you never have to feel alone.

it's a nice feeling. it's comforting and it can be successful if you make the choice to work at it.

take care.

Answer 9

As far as marriages, people "know" theirs will be successfully. As they say, "hope springs eternal".
Now about the sky diving analogy, it is flawed.Marriages last more than a day and you are talking about "every time" one sky dive. If people knew that there was a 58% chance in their sky diving career the chute wouldn't open, most would still do it. The thrills and impending doom.

Answer 10

your statistic is incorrect. when they make the so-called well known divorce rate statistic its based on # of divorces THIS year as compared to # of marriages THIS year. The actual divorce rate for ALL marriages EVER is closer to 3%. in reality a lot of people are getting married less - which is good - but it's sending the pre-conceived divorce statistic rate ever higher.