Hi, I was raised in a very loving family and community, me and my family traveled a lot so since I was very young I developed a very open minded view of the world and was very loving towards my family and friends. I want to enjoy my life, have friends, travel, etc. To me work is just a mean of making money to share it with others and to get what you need to survive and to save for interesting things.
My husband is the opposite of me, his life is only work and home, he has no friends. His life is highly monotonous and boring. I cant stand it anymore.
I feel in prison with him.
I am tired of his company, he seems highly needy and dependent on me, has no life of his own.
2006-12-08 06:59:38 · 19 answers · asked by Alejandra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He must have been like this when you met and married him - how did you deal with it at the time? What was it that made you choose him as a spouse? There has got to be something that attracted you to him. Is it still there? Sometimes it helps to focus on the good qualities, and build upon them - instead of dwelling on the negatives. Also, it might be helpful to remember how you felt about his personality while you two were dating. I assume, at that time you didn't feel you were "in prison"; why did your attitude change? Are there other things going on in your marriage that make you resent him and his ways?
You can't change someone's basic personality. He is the way he is, and if you're going to be married to him, you have to accept that certain things will be out of reach for you. One solution would be to have your own social life and do a lot of things that you want to do - and accept that fact that he doesn't want to be a part of it.
2006-12-08 07:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats all well and good you've been around and have had the opportunity in life to see things. Ever thought that perhaps your husband too is interested in things but just doesn't know how to go about it. Hint here is you said he's highly needed and dependent on you. perhaps it could be not that he's needy of you and dependent but he finds you interesting and worldly and likes to know more about the things you have seen and done and talk about. He loves you and wants to be interested in things too. could just be he;'s more of a quiet creature. but just because he seems boring doesn't mean you have to be sick of him. why not you and him pick up something you may both enjoy show him your world you have come from and introduce him to things you have done and have knowledge about. Only thing he knows is work and come home. bet he would like something to do with you. Your looking at him in the wrong way. You go about your life and think he will do the same but your a partner ship too and that doesn't mean you have to be beside him every waking hour but not a bad idea to pick out soemthing you both can share and have an interest in. He probably is working this much and just coming home as your out doing your own thing. Why not next time invite him along or as I say pick out a hobby you two can find together and it can grow from there.
Your marriage doesn't have to be boring its what you make it .
2006-12-08 21:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems really odd that you would be attracted to such a person and really, really odd that you would actually marry him. I can see him being attracted to you and your outlook on life, on life that's easy.
But, what did you think you wwere doing/who did you think you were gettiung by marrying HIM of all people? Did you think you could change him?
An interesting and important question would be: Why did YOU marry HIM? Ultimately, you'll have to decide if you are better off friends bc you'll not be able to life the rest of your life this way and definitely not raise children in such a conflicting atmosphere. Just not healthy for anybody--you, the k,ids, and not even him.
2006-12-08 15:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by answerme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you obviously knew this about him before you married him, so do something about it. Get him to develop hobbies that he can enjoy and some you both do together. Tell him your feeling in a less rigid and cold way. Explain to him that this will only lead to you two growing apart and you want to not only do things for you two to grow together, but you also think it is vital to the relationship that he grows as an individual.
2006-12-08 15:04:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you need to get in his face. If you've tried being nice, you're gonna need to do something kinda drastic to make him come out of his shell. I know it sounds bad, but c'mon... every woman does it at one point in her life or another. Threaten him, tell him you're unhappy.. Talk about leaving. That sorta thing. If he treats you like he still doesnt care, then get out. Take a few days and spend it at a friends house and dont come home. If he does care, then he'll really show you that he does. He might actually have like somekind of break down on you, but at least you'll know he cares. After that part, talk to him about what bothers you with your relationship. :) Goodluck!
2006-12-08 15:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to know why you married this guy in the first place. You're complete opposites, although these attract they definitely don't last. I cannot stand the boring and routine type with no zest for life and adventure whatsoever. Free yourself for the sake of sanity free yourself!
2006-12-08 15:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by wildblackflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go out and have fun with your friends do not let this guy control your every move tell him how you feel. Tell him that you need to get out of the house and do stuff go to a movie out for dinner get together with other people. Talk to him tell him that you can no longer live this life of boredom.
2006-12-08 15:17:48 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and talk to him discuss how you feel try and get him to go out with you sometimes to meet new people just try and involve him a little more if that does'nt work and really truly love him try counseling and maybe the problem will come out there may be more to it then you really know try to fix the problem don't break it off until you figure out the problem or really can't help him also don't sit around and be miserable go out and have fun
2006-12-08 15:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he was always like this and you picked him for other reasons. Now you see you are totally different and splitting apart. You may be able to work things out, but it doesn't sound like you want to. You have to decide if you want to see if he will change or if you want to get a divorce. The choice is yours.
2006-12-08 15:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he just have a change of heart or was his views of life like this b4 your said "I do?" Marrying just to be married ain't cool. These are things that should have been discussed b4 the vows were exchanged. You should check yourself and get counseling.
2006-12-08 15:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by redhotmamagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋