My husdand and i have been married for 7 years we have no kids. we been together for a total or 12 years. i always suspected he was cheating on me. I sometimes go to ny to see my family. i went to ny and came home and found a cigerette in my toilete he said he doesnt know where it came from and my ringer was off of my phone it was turned off he said the cats knocked the ringer knob off the ringer knob was small located on the side of the phone. the phone was still hooked up but the ringer was off. he doesnt smoke so i knew that wasnt his cigerette. Also, i found someones shoes in my house that wasnt mine and no one has spent the night either. then he caught genital warts he said he got them a long time ago they just came out. i dont have them he does. i was checked. i am amost 30 i dont have any kids. he is the money maker i am not. he makes 120 grand a year and i dont. i am in school and if i leave him i will be broke. what should i do. i cant go home to ny cause i live in florida
2006-12-08 06:43:50 · 55 answers · asked by sophie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have to leave. in the mean time start stashing $$$ until you have enough, look for a part time job and a roommate. you don't deserve to be treated like this. ask for help from your family, they will understand.
2006-12-08 06:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, this may seem like a life threatening decision but its not, ask yourself does he really love you? when was the love time he said he loved you. so what if he's the money maker, and so what if you live in florida. It's obvious that something fishy is going on so why dont you just go back to your parents. I cant tell you what to do its all about what you wanna do. But is this the man you really wanna spend the rest of your life with? you have to make sacrifices. If your worried about money, about being broke then the only answer is, get a job. if he asks why then say you want some indepence, your own money. your 30 years old, make your own money! yes it will take time but you need to get yourself sorted. best of luck x
2006-12-08 06:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go see a lawyer asap, and file for divorce. Even though you don't have kids you will still get half his money, and he will have to pay you money monthly to live on. Tell the lawyer he has committed adultery, that is all you have to do. It is tough, but you have no quality of life and are worth more than that. You risk AIDS and being made to look like a loser. Someone out there will really love you if you leave this guy and find him.
2006-12-08 07:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by Julia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes...the wrong thing to do is the best thing to do in these situations. Since you're in school and he's the moneymaker, finish school while you're with him. Meanwhile, let him have his fling and get on his case about it. Have you're own little fling, why not? When you're done with school and land a good job, move on. I know how cruel this sounds, but I was in the same situation. I didn't have much money, he did, I found things in my house and on our computer, he denied, so I bided my time, found a really good job, convinced him to pay off some of my bills, found an apartment, and moved out. Yeah, it's a bitchy thing to do, but sometimes there's no room for ethics.
2006-12-08 06:50:38 · answer #4 · answered by emmie8750 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not stay with this man! What I would do is get through school as soon as possible, use his money to pay for your way out of there. Get a job for a little income and save it up. I wouldn't get a bank account. Save it up in a special place where he won't find it. When you have enough money to move out and are done with school, move out. File for divorce and get a job. Yes, it will be hard to live with him while you are with him. Just think of his STD every time it gets to be hard to live with him. Keep your distance but don't let him catch on that you are leaving him until you do. 70% of men cheat! Good luck! I hope you make the right decision for you. Hope that helps!
2006-12-08 06:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kristen H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess if you don't want to make sacrafies to become happy and one day be in an honest and caring relationship then stay with him. If you want to better your life and find someone who will treat you how you deserve than perhaps you should suck it up, move back to NY with the parents or family or friends until you can get on your two feet. Find a job, save up money, take some of his money, move out and move on. That is, if it's proven that he's cheating on you, but, sounds like he pretty much is.
2006-12-08 06:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to finish your education and then leave. I would advise you to leave before that actually but I don't know how much you understand about your finances and how prepared you are to leave. If you had a car you could go back to New York City and go back home. I drove from AZ to FL in about a day, it can be done. What you need is the courage to do it. I would also, if you have any money, hire a private investigator to watch your husband to find out the truth.
2006-12-08 07:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To quote the first answerer, apparently the price of your self respect, dignity and personal health is $ 120,000 dollars. [Which is pretty cheap,by the way]
Here's an idea - leave the guy to have sex with his vaginal wart infected cigarette smoker, go back to New York GET A JOB AND GO TO COLLEGE PART TIME AT NIGHT.
Lots of women support themselves with their own money, instead of being dependent on a man.
Being with a man just for his money is a prostitute move, beneath the dignity of a REAL WOMAN like yourself - so walk away from his $ 120,000 a year ***.
Be an independent woman, and leave him in florida with his little STD infected girlfriend!
2006-12-08 06:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. No financial security is worth the emotional abuse that you are receiving because of this. It will only get worse as he and whoever he is with become more careless and self absorbed. Go visit your family again. Take the most important things with you, and don't come back. Don't ever look back. I am in a similar situation and trying to get out too. You can message me back if you would like.
2006-12-08 06:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by Ellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
School's not going to be an issue when you contract something you can die from, AIDS for example. Sounds to me like you're making excuses for him and you really don't want a solution. If you were really concerned about yourself, when you found out about those warts, you would have left. There are plenty of people in the world who work and go to school to support themselves. Please don't bring any kids into this obvious ignorant relationship. We have enough of that going on in the world!
2006-12-08 06:47:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun first have it out with him about the shoes and cigerette down the loo you can easy check phone bills on who he has been ringing and if he is haveing an affair i would not care if he was the riches man alive i would leave him as no man is worth an effort if he cheats theres much beeter men out there who will look after you properly you dont need to be lied to or cheated on
2006-12-08 06:50:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋