Husband won't help buy our kid's christmas.......?He makes more money than I do!!?

Question

I am working 2 jobs 1 f/t and 1 p/t so we can have a little extra money.I pay mortgage,car pmt,groceries,lunch $ for kids. That takes all of my check. My husband only has to pay utilities but never has any money. I have to buy all of our kid's christmas w/ the $400 a month from my 2nd job. What would you do? I am LIVID. WHERE IS HIS MONEY GOING? He is always home so I don't think it is going to another woman. I am so frustrated and so tired of BEING BROKE AND WORKING MY BUTT OFF!

Answer 1

Drugs?

Answer 2

Drinking? Porn? Eating out? There isn't any reason why he can't contribute. Tell him that you will only be paying 1/2 of all bills and if he wants to eat he better pay for the groceries. What do you have him for anyway? Seems like you are living on your own. You might as well divorce him and get 1/2 legally from the divorce settlement. How many kids do you have? The average child support is 2-300 dollars per kid. He better start kicking in or you will get most of his money anyway. Try exposing him to his coworkers and neighbors. Put the word out that he is refusing to shop for your children. Most men have too much pride and wouldn't want their shame of being a dead beat known.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

I would tell him from now on I'm taking control of all of the money and if he has a problem with that then I will prove to him I don't need him or his money as much as he thinks I do. I may struggle but at least I know my kids are being taken care of.

Answer 4

Okay first of all it should not be his and mine in money. In a marriage it is ours. My husband has been like that from day one when we moved into together before we got married. Tell him point blank you helped make them you help support them. His money has to be somewhere.. And you have to put your foot down or he'll continue to do as he pleases. Marriage and children are a equal not a majority. I know it's frustrating and is going to cause a argument but honey PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Only way he'll learn is if you teach him a lesson. Quit doing his laundry. Don't cook him dinner. Trust me going on stike will get his attention. Been there done that regarding things other than money and it works. My husband spends time with our children and helps clean the house.. When money is tight we figure it out together.. There have been times over the yers where one of us has not worked but the other did to support our family. Agian it should be equal... Good Luck!!!!

Answer 5

Stop feeding that bastard and make sure your kids and yourself eat before you come home.....You need to get that lazy bum out of your house and change the locks.....

The problem was that you have let this go on so long, it will be hard to stop unless you talk to him and make him do more or leave if he won't leave because you are a strong woman and you do not need a lazy man there that is not helping....You can do it by yourself as you are doing now....

As far as christmas, explain the true meaning of christmas to your kids and buy what you can afford as christmas is not all about gifts, its about the birth of Jesus Christ....

Answer 6

Have you talked to him nicely about this. Don't get all up in his face but he does need a reality check on this. Kindley speak with him about it and see if he cannot help with another bill since he doesn't want to buy for Christmas, or if he gets rude tell him your taking over his check and your going to start managing his money.

Answer 7

Well I am sorry to say but his money is going somewhere and if it's not to another woman/family then its to a bad habit. Hopefully it is not something that you can't stop but you do need to seriously talk to him about it because eventually your going to get fed up to the point where you give up trying on move on by yourself. It sounds like he don't really care really but maybe if you both talk in a calm way then things can be resolved.

Answer 8

The main issue here is not that you do not have transparency in your finances - it is that you do not have it in your marriage. You may need to seek marriage counseling. His earnings and expenditures should not be a mystery to his wife.

My husband and I have a joint checking account that both of our paychecks are automatically deposited into. All of our bills and credit cards are paid for out of that account. I have set up savings accounts for him, me and my son (baby). I have a set amount automatically transferred each month into those accounts from the joint account. To be honest we don't really do anything with the savings accounts but, it is a way to feel you have a little something for yourself. All of the accounts are connected so we can transfer money from savings back to checking if the need arises.

What are you doing for retirement? Are either of you contributing to a Mutual Fund? If you don't know what you have now, how can you expect to prepare for the future?

If it were me, I would talk to him and tell him the financal set-up needs to change or you will insist on seeking counseling. If he wants your marriage to work, he needs to show that he is committed to the family and not just there for the ride.

BTW My sister's husband kept his money separate and she did not find out until he passed away that he was in major debt because of gambling. There may be nothing behind your husband's stinginess but you need to know for sure. It may be more of a problem for you than you realize.

Answer 9

I would be miffed, too. But I really think the best person for you to be talking to about this would be your husband. You're going to get people here that say divorce him, leave him, or whatever other rash opinion they have. Your husband is really the only one who knows where his money is going. Talk to him and ask him to be honest with you. He needs to take more responsibility or he'll lose even more respect than he already has. It's not fair for you to have to bust your butt, tell him how you feel, and see what he says.

Answer 10

That is really hard to hear and im very sorry about the baby and the kidndy , And im just a teen so you probably wont end up listening to me for that reason but .. Seriously i think that you should break up with him move in with your parents for a month or so , and while your with your parents i think you should look for a better paying job because $300 every 2 week gets you know were my step dad makes $700+ a week , my mom makes $500 and somthing a week , and sometimes at the end of the week were left with mximum $200 because grocerys are expensive these days and i know they spend like 200$ + on groceys . , And then i think you should go on this progrom its called WELFARE tell them your story and tell them you have 2 little children then every week they give you about $500 , and help you find a good job :) well I hope from just being me a "teen" you got some ideas from this

Answer 11

Don't be afraid to ask him what he is doing w/his money! Be smart if he cant give a good enough answer...start snooping around. Don't confront him without proof. You are apparently a strong woman get your stuff together and get rid of the extra baggage. You can feel bad all by yourself you don't need extra help!! Good Luck!