2006-12-08 05:29:37 · 24 answers · asked by colb08 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You have to make yourself happy. Your family is part of that but you cannot live your life for them.
2006-12-08 05:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by shadouse 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The question should be do you love her and does she love you? That means that the attraction is so strong that you don't want other lovers. The best relationships are based on love. You might get into it and then fall in love later. Whether you date and marry someone of your own race or another race is a matter of personal preference. The first concern should be character not race. You must ask yourself are you dating her out of spite for your family, just to prove that you can get a white woman, or out of spite for racial stereotypes. If none of these apply and you are dating her for love and she has good character then tell your family to stuff it. They should remember that racism works both ways.
Some friends of mine have a mixed race marriage and there have been difficulties between them. Thank God that there have not been difficulties between their parents. Most of the difficulties they have had are not the result of race but rather the kind of difficulties that most married couples have.
Hey, think about it, you could marry someone from your own race and it could be terrible and, also, you could marry someone from another race and it could be great.
The marriage I mention above produced a wonderful child. I don't figure that you can do better than that.
You must follow your own heart. I've seen families screw up relationships all to often where race was not an issue.
Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-12-08 13:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by lobster37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is blind is what is said. If you enjoy being with them and they are good to you and your family, what does it matter? Some people can't get over that hurdle. If you are going to stay within your own race because of your family, let them know how you feel and that you are happy as of right now. Who knows what the future holds, change happens everyday. You should ask them why they want you to stay with your race and if they even like your girlfriend. But make sure they give you a valid reason.
Good luck to you
2006-12-08 13:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by tdakpj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. If you truly love your girlfriend, and it sounds like you do, then stick with her through thick and thin. I've been happily married to someone from outside my race for 10 years, and am better for it. We now have three very happy and healthy children that both families are very proud of. It took a little while, but when my family saw how much we really loved and cared for each other, they came around. I don't regret any of the stress that we both had in the beginning. True Love Conquers All!
2006-12-08 13:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Robin A 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Its funny how many people don't realize how racist everyone is. the worst of course is family. My family was a wonderful loving racist family. I stuck to my guns though and they all eventually came around. Remember racisim is rooted in FEAR and IGNORANCE - so a little exposure does racist people a ton of good. Remember they likely love you more than they are racist. So don't be fearful or ignorant - stick to your guns and they will come around too.
2006-12-08 13:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by Another Garcia 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, who cares what your family thinks? She is with you, not your family. In all reality, though, most mothers and families dont like girlfriends anyway, her being white is just what they are using for further ignorant justification.
My family is very international. My male cousins are all black but their wives are not (Turkish, Philippino, White, Columbian, French). I have a whole slew of little half-breed cousins and I love them no more or less than I do my full black cousins and relatives.
You cant help who you fall in love with, it is your life to lead.
And to respond to the young woman above who said the bible say not to mix races....THE BIBLE DOES NOT SAY THAT. The bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" That means not to be with someone who does not believe in God. Light cannot be in the spot as darkness (believer cannot commune with non-believers). People have used those two words OUT OF CONTEXT for years to mean everything from mixing races to marrying outside of your family's stated practiced religion. That phrase ONLY MEANS to not get involved with some who is not a believer in God if you are. It is amazing that some churches even teach such ignorant stuff and they are supposed to be the house of the Lord.
MAN...GO GET YOUR WOMAN!!!!
2006-12-08 13:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go with whoever makes you happy. Your parents should be happy to see you happy. Your parents had their time to live their life and chose who they want to be with and now its yours. They do have the ability to change their mind though. My friend is white and she is going out with an African American. For awhile she kept quite about him, he didnt really come around her house, and she just said it was her friend because some of her family members and especially her Dad was racist. Then she grew some strong feelings for him and they were dated and he'd go over her house when no one was home and then she just decided to tell her parents the truth. They werent happy at first, but her mom was warming up. Then things got serious with them and he'd come over and come to their parties and all that jazz. Then he asked her to marry him. She kept that from her parents for months but then told them after getting out of school. They're all ok with it now and now my friend is having his baby. They plan on moving into a house by next christmas. He spends the night over her house and everything. So, your parents have the ability to change but I'm not telling you to ask them to change or make them change. Just do whatever you makes you happy and hope they'll see what something really means to you.
2006-12-08 14:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the decision that suits you, not your family. Its wrong of them to mistreat your girlfriend because of her race. Imagine if the situation were reversed, and her family was racist towards you? How would you feel if she dumped you to keep the peace in her family?
2006-12-08 13:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by parental unit 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO one can help who they care for nd if you live your life for ur family and not for you, youd be miserable.
Of course you want your family's approval everyone does.
But if your girlfriend now is the one.
There should be nothing to stop you from doing what makes you happy
And if your family loved you they should understand that.
2006-12-08 13:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family is racist? This isn't uncommon, but I would hope that YOU would be bigger and wiser than that. If you cater to racism, you add to the problem. Be yourself. Follow your own path and your own heart. If they are good, loving parents they will learn to accept her. If they don't, it's a shame but it's also YOUR life, not theirs.
2006-12-08 13:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you like your girlfriend, stay with her. Your family should learn to deal with it. I had a black girlfriend for 4 years and she is one of the lovliest people I ever met. You will have to live with her, not your family!
2006-12-08 13:32:01 · answer #11 · answered by Sanmigsean 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋