Im bisexual. Sometimes it turns me on for him to talk about other women(he wont w/o pulling teeth)and I love looking at porn with him,Ive even pointed hot girls out to him.When I self please I fantasize about him with other women. This is all good because he dosnt compare me,make comments he shouldnt,he dosent drool over girls(In my presence)ect,he's a real great man. Its obvious he wont be cheating(dont question this,just take my word)He's home every minute he's not at work.
Heres my problem. Except for these times I can be VERY insecure. Ive gotton alot better it used to be severe and ridiculous. But SOMETIMES I cant handle the fact that there are hot women out there and I know Im not his only one. I know he finds other women sexy(He dosent say it but every1 does feel this way). I dont want competition. Now,based on what I said about how wonderful he is,how can I overcome this problem I have since its my problem and nothing he's doing to me.
2006-12-08 05:19:13 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
all women are insecure about this but my husband and i have solved this problem. he has told me without reserve that i am hotter than any other woman. this is because we have a good relationship and he only wants me and loves me. knowing that he tinks this i do not mind that he thinks other girls are sexy. i think other guys are sexy but no one esle does it for me but him and he knows that. you have to realize that men and women are different. Biologically they are supposed to look over the pack of women and do as many as he can. this does not mean that he will chaet only that he will ALWAYS look at other women as cute or hot or whatever even at 90 but it doesn't mean anything. if you are insecure because you do not have the greatest body than be reassured unless you are horriblely obese or realy skinny most men will be attracted to a naked female body no matter what. especially if they love you.
and i also watch porn with my husband because i know he only watches it because its sex and seeing sex turns him on not because he wants to do the girls which is i bet why your guy watches it. and your fantisies are fine because fantisies are usually just that and are never as cool in real life. many fantisize about naughty things like girls on girls and you with somone else this does not mean you should stop. perhaps you like him talking about other girls because feel pride in the fact that he might see that girl as hot but he is with you so you must be hotter to him. but don't make him do this if he doesn't want to, it might become an issue between you two
2006-12-08 07:25:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps some form of counseling may be a benefit for you. Fact of live is there will always be people sexier and better looking then us all. But if we are comfortable within our skin then we learn to live with this reality. And if your partner accepts you for who you are then you should be grateful as many partners indeed do try and change their significant other into what they want (which is also an impossibility). Communication with your man about your low self esteem would also be good for you. Take a look at these others that you are either jealous or envious of, they have everyday problems like all living beings on this planet and just might want to change places with you. Be grateful for who and what you have to offer and hopefully things will improve in your life.
2006-12-08 05:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You feed your insecurity by forcing him to review porn with you and to talk about other women to you about them. You also fantasize about him with other women. You need to stop doing this it is very unhealthy. There are millions of beautiful people out there and we can't control the thoughts and actions of others. However we can control feeding a hunger that will lead to a conclusion we fear. By talking incessently about others you are in effect letting him know it's okay for him to be turned on by other women. You seem very confused about your sexuality. On the one hand you are turned on by women and on the other you want your husband only to yourself. Make a choice. Pick a side. If it helps ; think of it this way. You are Married. Any other option is not available to you. Make the best of what you have. Put all of your energy there. Stop pleasuring yourself so frequently and allow the real thing to do it for you. Save yourself for when your spouse is available. In this way you won't use the unhealthy images that you normally implement. It is natural to notice beauty. It is the reason pageants and celebrities are so popular. You have to learn to trust and you will never be able to do that by doing counter productive things like you have been. Have a long talk with hubby. Tell him how you feel and how you intend to accomplish your goals. Let him reassure you. Learn to trust.
2006-12-08 05:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is def an Insecurity issue...which leads u to distrust him. not that u don't trust him, but u don't trust "the world" of hot women! :T
my advice to u, or to Anyone, is to work on Yourself. Confidence affects Every Single Aspect of your life.. ur relationships, ur job, ur ability to network, make friends, keep friends, etc etc etc. confidence in urslef Helps u to trust yourself and others....let's just say he Did cheat on u. if u felt and KNEW 100% that u are a wonderful, honest, attractive, loving, Sexy woman, u should have the attitude of "he better not cheat.. if he does, see ya later!!!" that means ur happiness is not based on another person.. u are so secure in urself , that u CHOOSE this man to be with. if he messes it up, it's his bad. u see the difference between that, and the attitude of being scared that he might leave u? the thing is a relationship takes 2 people. that means u can know ur own mind, but not the other person. u have to Trust each other. and if you are confident, secure, committing, Trust Worthy, and Trust Him, then you are with him because you Want him, even tho u can have other guys. and if he appreciates that about u, he will Respect you and not want to jeapordize that. same goes for you.. if he is a great, honorable, fantastic guy who treats u right and is honorable, u should feel Lucky he chose you, and not do things to jeapordize. that way u respect waht Each other brings to the relationship, not just depend solely on him to make u happy. hope that makes sense..good luck
2006-12-08 05:27:01 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Actually I had the same problem some months ago but I noticed that the more confidence I got in myself and the more i loved myself for what I had and am the more attractive I became to my partner. So just love yourself for who you are. Yeah there might be sexy women out there but you dont know what is bad with her...she might have a bad attitude or stinky feet or even worse bad breath. You have to love yourself and your insecurities will go away slowly but surely.
2006-12-08 05:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by trf_islandkandi 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wished I knew the answer to this. I wrote to let you know you are not alone. I am not really in to porn, my take has always been why watch what you can make, Lame, probably. I notice hot women also and I would love to point them out without later having to hear about it in bed with him or him making sly remarks that he swears are not meant for me to take as him comparing me to them but how can he when he says you are not like laura or sherry. BLah BLah anyway you are not alone and I dont know how to fix this, I wish I did. Your not alone
2006-12-08 06:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by If we don’t stand up for ourselves, NO ONE will 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of all of us has lack of self belief's in some unspecified time interior the destiny of their lives yet i think of its greater bearing directly to the guy they are as an entire rather, each and each guy or woman deals with issues in a distinctive way. some choose out of not information, some from loss of sympathy, some because of the fact its what they have been taught and a few because of the fact they see some thing they do unlike approximately themselves in others too.
2016-10-17 23:53:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone has some insecurities, u just have to overcome them. u say right in ur question he wont cheat so what are u worried about. hes better than my bf who drools or comments about another woman in my presense (now thats hurtful). be happy that u have such a loving husband who doesnt say or do mean things to hurt u. good luck to u hun
2006-12-08 05:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by Michele 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
there is a reason... why love is a four letter word and hot n sex are three letters
love is more powerful
lol i like Angelina Jolie... would i leave someone i love for her nopes
my ex spoke of tom cruize how hot etc etc he is..... but when we were together she wont have touched him even...
its not hot that is the axis of a relationship
its the trust ... respect... n love...
believe in that and believe in urself...... in power of ur love...
2006-12-08 05:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by rocks_life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to a therapist and get your insecurities worked out. That's the easiest way to do it.
2006-12-08 05:24:00 · answer #10 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋