marriage and kids....?

Question

how many think that even though the marriage isn't working that you should try to keep it together for the kids sake?

Answer 1

No, Never...the kids know, always...I am going thru divorce right now with a 5 and 2 yr old. There's too much stress and strain, tension when the relationship isn't working. It can be hard when you seperate but, it tension is gone, my kids even sleep better. There more of a peace when all that strain is gone...

Answer 2

I would say try to stay together if you can keep your home peaceful. Our society is now damaged fairly severly due to divorce. About the same time divorce came into vogue in the 70, our federal government began spending excessively and a huge debt got built up and the government is now corrupt just like Europe. I believe this is because kids of divorced parents now run the government and many other broken organizations. Kids of divorced parents are also much more likely to divorce themselves. The whole divorce thing is very damaging to kids, to you and society. You married originally for some appealing reason so consider putting the following into practice:
Best way to have a great marriage is to think like a child. Pay attention to kids and start thinking the same way. Kids like to have a good time and are rarely serious. You should be the same way--watch movies like Shrek or Over the Hedge enough until your humor/joy threshold falls. Collect jokes, find one new one a week. Jay Leno is great and you should find a funny radio station to listen to in the morning. Many marraiges are way too serious. People are designed for a good time and that includes marraige. Kids are the model because in relationships they have no expectations about how someone else should behave--put this outlook in your marriage and lightenup on your partner. Kids are very forgiving and this is key to a fun marriage; overflow with forgiveness. Pull gags on your spouse--I do this regularly and we have a good time. As you spend time with funny movies and jokes you will begin to think funny and then joke around with your spouse much more, like a kid and have more fun. Also, thinking funny builds a wall of protection for you when your spouse or others tear you down, the arrows just bounce off. This strengthens your marriage and makes you happier, building enormous peace reserves for you and your marriage. Intimacy between a man and woman can be magical if you are willing to be childlike and gentle in order to get there.

Answer 3

Nope, you should never keep a marriage together for the kids because the kids are more affected than you two will be...If the marriage is done, let it go and become better parents to your child(ren) than husband and wife...It is better to be in that situation and the hurt will heal instead of constantly hurting your kids with all the arguing and fussing....

Answer 4

I don't know how being in an unhappy marriage helps kids. They feel the stress and hear what's going on. Have you tried working things out by going to counseling? That would be my 1st step. If things don't get better and you can't work things out then I would consider leaving. Always try your best to make your marriage work unless theres abuse. Sometimes things just can't be resolved. I hope your problems can. Good Luck but seek help before you give up.

Answer 5

This really depends on the situation. I am staying but things all and all are good. She is a great mother and we get along fine. She lost her sex drive and thinks I just simply adjust to this since everything else is great. (her exact words). I miss the passion and still have a strong drive so this is difficult for me but in the best interest of my entire family I stay.

When the kids are out of the house I may leave.

I do think women tend to underestimate what a huge issue this is for most men. I now do understand temptation when I nerver thought I would.

I hope this helps.

Answer 6

I think that you should try for the kids' sake. Marriage takes work. Keep trying. You don't want to hurt the kids and to traumatize them from ever getting married themselves...

Answer 7

Now that depends on what keeping it together involves. If the kids will just be raised surrounded by dysfunction, then what is no good for them. But, ideally the couple will do whatever it takes to model a good marriage for their kids.

Answer 8

I believe it is a personal choice. However, most marriages can be fixed if both people are willing to try. Some people have stuck it out and actually have fallen back in love with their spouse. Marriage takes work and committment. Love is a choice, not necessarily a feeling.

Answer 9

It depends. Are you hurting the kids more by staying together? My parents HATED each other and us kids (at the time) told them to get divorced. It was horrible. My dad believed in staying married for the kids, soooo they stayed together only I found out later (13 years) that they actually divorced and stayed living together until my brother graduated from high school.

Answer 10

Never. The kids can tell when the love is gone. If you want to set a bad example for your kids, then stay. It's better to be apart and happy, then together and sad.