Is it wrong?

Question

Is it wrong for me to hold on to the hope that she will want me back? She never gave me any real reason for dumping me. It was a decision that she made out of the blue and it nearly killed me. I had to admit myself to a nut ward for a week. After getting out I gave her and the kids all of my possessions and left the state on a greyhound with nothing but a heart full of pain and three bags of clothes. When I got back to Ohio I was a wreck and had to go to a crises center and get on anti depressants. I couldn’t work or leave my uncles house for a month. When I finally got a job I had to fight the tears back for 8 hours a day then I would come home and break down sobbing like an idiot. I would write her E-mails asking why but never got a straight answer. Then she stopped replying all together. I still write her and she never responds. I miss her and the kids so bad that I still cry like a big baby. I still love them with all of my heart but the grief I feel is so overpowering sometimes that I don’t know if I will ever be free of it. Sometimes when I see the light at the end of the tunnel I feel guilty almost as if I were cheating on her memory. I know that I’m just lying to myself but I cant help but believe that one day she will contact me and tell me how wrong she was and how she wants to start over and come home to me. I live for that day I live for that lie. I just wish I knew why. She hurt me more than I ever thought possible but I would give my life for her without a thought. How do you abandon all hope when that’s all you have?

The kids are hers from a previous relationship… I love them like they are my own. We were together for 10 months. We moved to Missouri to start over financially. She promised me that things would be better there. The youngest just started calling me Dad and my relationship with the other two was just starting to get better. The next thing I know she gets all cold and dumps me.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your pain. It is never easy going through an ending of a marriage and not seeing your kids. My heart goes out to you. However, I really believe for the benefit of your own well being, you need to move on and try and accept the fact that she is probably not coming back. As hard as it may be, you need to. I think nobody should completely give up on hope all together but you can still hope and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle for the benefit of yourself. Do you still your kids? I mean it is not fair for your wife to take away your kids and not having you in their lives. That is not fair to you or to them.

I would try some councilling and see where that leads. I think that in time, your wounds will heal and you will start to function more and more each day.

I think she does owe it to you to be honest about why she left so then you can fully move on.

Good luck and I sincerely hope you will have a good upcoming year and I know in time, you will heal! Take care!

Answer 2

Wow it sounds like you really love her or obsessed. Please don't take this as me giving you a mean answer. What you need is some time to heal. I went through loosing someone I loved very much. It is now 3 months later and I received my help from supportive people here on Yahoo Answers. I found a new hobby and I started spending more time with my friends and family. However when the weekends would I come I would still cry. I don't think you are idiot for you loved this woman and her children but perhaps you were a bit obessed and it turned her off. It is hard but I cannot speak for her. Stop writing her and contacting her. If she wants you, let her call you. Perhaps someone need to take you and shake the $hit out of you to get you to wake up. Stop crying and move on. There are women out there with children who are looking for a man to accept her and her children. I agree you do need some closure in order to move on. But for some reason she cannot communicate with you. Maybe she just need some time apart from you and she don't have an answer for you. Also, if she betrayed you don't allow her to think she can have you back when she is done with all of her fun. It is not fair to you and you deserve so much better. No one deserves to be treated like crap and it is not fair for things so bad to happen to the good people. But life is just not fair. It is what we call growing up and learning experiences. I do hope that you will find someway and somehow to move on with your life and find you a wonderful partner who will love and respect you and will never ever do anything intentionally to hurt you.

God Bless you and I wll pray for you.

Answer 3

You can't change the fact that she does not want to be with you, no matter what her reason is. Make a list, her not included, of what you want out of life and what you want to do with it, then concentrate your time and emotions into schieving something else. Some splits take longer than others to get over. Remember there are so many things to enjoy in life some good some bad, but don't let it stop you from living, you do matter and you can make a difference.

Answer 4

Believe me, you have far more than hope. You will heal, but you have to want to heal, and from what you are saying here, you like to wallow in your pity. Get up and do something, get yourself back out there and try to have some fun. What you are doing isn't very healthy emotionally. You obviously had something to give her and she saw it at one time, and someone will see it again in you. You really really need to move on with your life. I know you are hurting, however she is moving on with her life and you aren't, how does that make you feel? I wish you well.

Answer 5

I know someone that can cope with the way you feel....Jesus...He has been where you are. You said that you would die for her...But, Jesus has died for us, so that we can have peace and eternal life through Him. But yet, people still refuse to reject Him, and He loves us sooo much. Similar to the same way you love your wife(i assume). By giving your heart to Jesus and putting your trust in Him, He will give you the restoration and peace you search for. The love that you have for your wife...He loves you even more.. that's amazing. And the same way you desire for your wife and kids to come to you one day, Jesus is asking you the same thing (To come to Him). He desires for you to have a relationship with Him, and He promises that He will not abandon you, no matter what you do. Cry out to Jesus and ask Him to save you and to come into your heart. Repent and Confess with your mouth that He died for you and rose again on the 3rd day seated on the right hand of Father God in Heaven so that one day you can be with Him.

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to move on, not just away. When she abandoned you, why did you abandon your children? Maybe part of your problem is that you have misplaced your love. Take care of yourself, then your kids. The rest WILL fall into place.

Answer 7

well hope is something very powerful....and well for the kids sake stay in thier life no one likes to be left without a dad.ya know? and as for the girl??? hunny it does sound like you need to move on... someone out there is way better for you...i promise, so dont worry just hold your head high and think positive thoughts.... everythings gonna be alright, i promise.