my best friend recently broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and has been really depressed. of course i have been there for her with every problem. her x is also a really good friend of mine and i have actually known him longer. we go way back to freshman year in highschool. she told me the other day that she really wants to get over him and move on..but that the only way she can comepletly forget him is to forget everything that has to do with him. including ME! she says i remind her of him because we go to the same school, we are taking the same classes, etc....i was so surprised. i started crying and she did too. but i guess that's her decision. i'm not sure what to do because she is my best friend and i love her. she's like a sister to me. should i back off or keep insisting????
2006-12-08 04:05:55 · 9 answers · asked by vicky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She is confused! She does want to remain friends with you but as she says, you remind her of this guy for whom she still seems to have very deep feelings, else she would not be contemplating such drastic measures to get him out of her system.
Even if I felt so badly about a lost relationship and wanted to forget I would not eliminate a friend I loved so dearly that I cry over the prospect of losing her.
Sometimes, family members give you no alternative (you said she is like a sister to you) and you are forced, in spite of the pain, to let them be. It does not mean that they no longer matter to you or that you won't go to their rescue if need be but, when they make it clear that they no longer desire your company, you must respect their wishes, even though it tears you up.
Give her the space she asked for and just know she still loves you and may one day need to speak when she has gotten over the pain. I trust you will forgive her decision sufficiently to open your heart to her then. Don't keep insisting - give her time.
And, even if things don't go your way with her, still forgive her and move on. You will make other close friends but always keep your wits about you so that you never end up in this sort of situation again.
Keep the faith and be strong!
2006-12-08 04:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this must be very sad for you. You could try letting her know that you will give her time and space, but that when she needs you or is ready to start having fun again you will be available. Remind her of an important fact, boyfriends come and go, but best friends is forever!
Also, suggest to her seeing a therapist, and maybe a hypnotherapist. I had a really bad break up once from a very abusive boyfriend. I was a wreck, crying, shaking, couldnt see any of our mutual friends. So I went to a hypnotherapist, and had about four sessions. I felt much better and could see my friends again, and be happy.
Your a good friend, dont let this get you down. She will probably call and apologise soon. :)
2006-12-08 12:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by absintheveil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should take her out for a night of fun and nothing but conversation about the both of you to let her realize how much of a good friend you are. She will probably get over with it. if she is a good friend then i think that this will pass!!!!! if not its her lost. you did what you could! good lluck!
2006-12-08 12:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say...give her her space if she asks for it! women usually know when they really need something.....i know that if she is your true friend , when she is ready she will call you! it sux that she is acting like that....you have nothing to do woth him...as long as you dont talk about him , she should have no problem havin you around and contiue your friendship! but you need to respect her feelings...at least if you give her her space ,,,call her peiodically to check up on her , reassuring her that you love her and still care about her pain! it will maybe lesson the tension between the 2 of u! good luck!
2006-12-08 12:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by Life....it blows! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is hurt and prolly said that to make herslef feel better.... Just give her some time and space and she will soon be over her ex... she is sore and unset and time will cure all heartache an she will be back to her old self and wonder why she even said the things she did.... Give her space and she will come around.
2006-12-08 12:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by evil_fallen_angel41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your thing!! If she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, then you should back off. There are plenty other people that you can develop a friendship with.
2006-12-08 12:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Bout It 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes just goignthrought the time where she is very sad.you should ask her if that is waht she really wants.and think to yourself if you stop being her friend or whatever youll have to live the rest of you r life thinking i wonder what happened and she really needs you now more then ever.
2006-12-08 12:11:54 · answer #7 · answered by marissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whats best for your best friend.
2006-12-08 12:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by oops1388 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
back off,she's crazy.
2006-12-08 12:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋