i need advice! i have a boyfriend but he's a real big jerk, but he treats me really good. but all he cares about is "getting some" and i'm not ready for that. maybe after a month, but it's only been 3 weeks. but he called on a thursday night saying "look i can't do this just fxxx off you fxxxing bxxxh" and hung up in my face. i took that as him breaking up with me. but my friend kody called him and said...he didn't break up with me he was just mad and high. but why did he do that if he was high. don't you think if he really cared about me he wouldn't break up with me???? plus he bought me a really pretty necklace for my birthday. he means so much to me...but he has officially ****** up my life! what should i do?
2006-12-08 03:41:51 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Okay
He messed up your life.
He's a real big jerk.
All he cares about is getting some
He tells you to Fxxx off you fxxxing bxxxh.
He uses drugs.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
It's only been three weeks.
Get out now.
Things will only get worse.
Honey please.
You deserve better than that.
2006-12-08 03:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by Louw D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's such a tough situation. Sounds like he is confused.
Maybe you 2 need to talk about what both of you are going through.
Communication is a big key in understanding each other.
Assuming how someone feels or thinks is dangerous.
Since he cares about you so much, I would think he would be willing to nicely discuss your relationship. No blame throwing, no yelling...just "this is bothering me about our relationship, what do you think?" You both sit down as concerned adults, about your relationship. Some things don't need blame...they just happen.
Make an agreement ahead of time to NOT butt in, while the other person is talking.
Try not to put him on the defense and you will get have a more caring and understanding conversation. Make an appointment to talk, don't just spring it on him.
To NOT put him on the defense, use 'I' statements, instead of 'you' statements.
"I feel this way about this and this" instead of 'you make me feel this way when........" Hope that makes sense.
If you both go into the conversation with the intentions of listening to each other, I bet you will find out you are thinking one thing and he is thinking another on the same issue.
The best way to change someone else is to change yourself.
He sounds confused, which has made you confused. By calmly and caringly talking, I think you can work this out. One conversation won't be a quick fix. It may take several small conversations. Oh and don't bring up everything at once. Bring up one thing at a time. Don't overwhelm him or you by bringing up everything. It won't work. Be prepared that the one conversation might not solve the problem right away. Be patient !
Give each other food for thought between conversations.
If you are talking and you don't agree...either agree to disagree...or promise to think about 'it' before talking next time.
2006-12-08 12:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by flyinghawk0727 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do I begin! This guy clearly has no respect for you. Anyone who would call you and 'F-ing b****' AND tell you to 'F-off' whether he was high or not does not deserve you. Thank God you have not had sex with this jerk! Sex will only further complicate this by drawing you closer to him emotionally when you have admitted yourself that he just wants to "get some". This is the classic set up for the hit it and quit it. My advice: If you stay with him, I can almost guarantee that you will only end up broken emotionally and physically.
PLEASE do not give him that which he is not ready to receive. You are strong, you can do it! Walk away from this guy.
2006-12-08 11:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by my2cents4ya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did not even read all u wrote..when u said he's a jerk and just wants to get some, that said it all..dump him. a month is too soon anyways. if he really does not want to lose u he will respect you cause he really feels for you, trust me, once he gets it he will leave you for another chic to do the same thing over and over. he is a looser stay alway from guys that do drugs honey, they will ruin your life big time if u let them. it happened to me. your parents would want the best for you, let go of that trash & put him where he goes. good luck in doing the right thing.
2006-12-08 11:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not worthy of having such power over your life. I understand that you care about him greatly but to him you are only someone to sleep with.
Mad and high? That's still no excuse to talk to you that way. You are much better than that. Don't settle.
Drop him and go find someone that will REALLY love you and not treat you like a door mat.
2006-12-08 11:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, trust me, u deserve much better than him. When u feel the time is right, make that decision urself and dont rush into it. Seriously ask him if he is ready to wait, if he isnt, u deserve much better. If he says he will but later starts forcing u again, try ur best to set higher limits for urself and leave him.
2006-12-08 11:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this boy is bad news. he majorly disrespected you, and if you hang on to him he will walk all over you. do you really want to be in one of those abusive relationships? all your doing is setting yourself up for disaster. he should never have sworn at you and the fact that he was high says a lot about his character.
he is just trying to use you. get out before it's too late! and if I were you i would throw that neclace in his face, but thats just me. no matter, leave the jerk!
2006-12-08 11:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in this place before and my best friend told me that i needed to fallow my heart even if it hurt. You will heal even if you think you wont. He is not your world you have so much to do and if it is with out he then that's fine.
well i left mine and i have felt better and my life is a lot better in fact the guy i am with now just asked me to marry him and i said yes and he is much better than that jerk that i was with things are greener on the other side
2006-12-08 11:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by sam b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three weeks and he is officially your boy friend already no wonder he wants sex so quickly. I think you need to tell him to slow down and if he trust you he will wait. And sounds like bad news but I am working with limited information here. Good Luck
2006-12-08 11:47:47 · answer #9 · answered by NeedToKnow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell? He sounds like a complete asshole. So he bought you a necklace? Big deal! He treats you like crap and you are too ignorant to see it! Get over him! Move on! Find a guy who is willing to wait, and be patient, or doesn't care about it at all. (They do exist ladies!)
2006-12-08 11:46:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋