I have a 16 year old daughter. I was engaged to her father before the pregnancy, and when i got pregnant I ended the engagement due to hormones but did not know about the baby. His mother and I worked at the same place, and I told her at the time I was pregnant. Long story short she told me she would take care of it, and ended up telling him it was not his baby, etc. When she was born I opened a paternity case and of course he was the father and of course I once again gave him and his family the opportunity to be in her life, but the did not. NOW, 16 years later she has contacted him via the internet and NOW he wants to be a part of her life and come to find out she has been in contact with him through my mother. I was very upset and hurt over the entire thing, because I feel like I gave him and his family the opportunity to be a part of her life 16 years ago and they declined, why should I let him now. He has planned a visit with her and I am so upset about the whole thing.
2006-12-08 03:33:05 · 4 answers · asked by Cali Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i can understand why you're so hurt. im pregnant at the moment and the father says he no longer wants me or the baby when its born. Its horrible having someone say they don't want to be part of your babys life, so i can't imagine how hard it must be when suddenly after so long they do. All I can advise is that your daughter seems to want the chance to know her father, so letting her make her own decision could be the best way to handle it. Even though he probably doesnt deserve to know her you have to let her make up her own mind about him otherwise she could end up resenting you for not letting her meet him. 16 years is a long time though so he may have changed and maybe he could be a good father and an important part of your daughters life given the chance. Just remember that even if she does carry on seeing her father nothing can replace you. You are the one who's been there for her and looked after her for the past 16 years and nothing will ever destroy a bond as strong as that.
2006-12-08 03:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel, betrayal we can call...Let her know him and you should't get upset you are her mom and the only parent that she knows maybee she just want to know him but not be part of his life be truth to her about what he done and let her deside make sure she don't have abitter life because at that that is the worse thing show her that even that he never helped you and his mom still you are not bitter and show her that life is not sbout bsd feelings trust me even his mom will one day apologize to you...I do really think that you just let her know him but tell her the truth yes in a good way even if you hate them for what is been doen in the past I think if you have the hate feeling deep inside you is just going to hurt you and is not a good feeling...You have your daughter love don't matter what...And she knows it I introduce myself to my mother when I was 19 I search for her I found her and since then we don't have no comunication so don't worry...
2006-12-08 07:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know everything you just told us. It may hurt her for a little while to know that he did not want contact with her at first, but she needs to be made aware of what happened so she can make the necessary decisions.
2006-12-08 03:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
None of this is about you or your ex. It is about your daughter and the need she has to have a Father. Put all of that aside and let her get to know him.
2006-12-08 03:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋