My son has probably had over 30 jobs in his life and wants to get ahead but just seems to be dead ended. Now he wants to come live with us and bring his family along. I'm 63 years old and at the end of what life I have-what do I do? I can afford to have him stay with us but I want my peace and quite and not distruption at this stage of my life. Any good answers-
2006-12-08 03:11:02 · 9 answers · asked by jon l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him nicely but firmly NO...u raised him once u shouldnt have to raise him again...it is not ur fault that he is at a ded end...he should of thought about that a long time ago...and 30 jobs no wonder he is at a dead end...tell him to go back to school get an education so he can possibly better himself...it is not ur job to support him again...he is an adult now make him act like it...good luck
2006-12-08 03:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough position to be in given that there is a child involved who is your grandchild. You can allow them to move with a time limit for them to move out 3-6 months should suffice. Make your conditions known in a written contract that they must have signed. Keep in mind too that you won't be able to easily evict them once they make a change of address. You will have to take the same steps as any landlord would for that. Let them know that you intend to file for eviction at the 2 or 5th month which will give them exactly 30 days to move out. At that point you have done all that you could do and your conscience can be clear when you evict them. Also, be sure to include that they contribute to the grocery and utilities after the lst month. This should enable them to pay a few bills without the burden of mortgage or rent for the 30 days. Barring that you could put a deposit on an apartment for them and avoid the headache of having them invade your privacy it would be worth the cost and cheaper in the long run with regards to your stress. Also, make sure that they know that you are NOT a built in babysitter who will be there for them to go out partying etc...
I would strongly urge you to have your son join the military. He needs stability and boot camp will fast teach him the meaning of responsibility. It will also provide him and his son with medical care and a guaranteed income. Given his work history he is not in a position to be "proud". Recommend the Navy & Air Force as those branches are usually not the first ones to hit the beach so to speak during times of conflict. He could also try to get an MOS in Administration which is not on high list of priority for overseas tours. Good Luck!
2006-12-08 11:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your heart and arms are always open to him and his family but your door is closed.
You can not take care of his family.
This is where tough love is a good thing.
My brother-in-law and his wife live with my in-laws.
They've been living there for 8 years.
It's a no win situation.
Once they can move out, them the folks are in a financial problem, because they had to help them.
Then when the folks are on their feet again, the my brother-in-law has to save up for a deposit ect again.
They all want to move on with their lives, but are in a visious circle.
It's a no win situation.
No, no, no.
He might be upset for a while, but in the long run it will save alot of tears from both sides.
2006-12-08 11:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by Louw D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he's a 30 year old man and needs to act like one! He needs to stand on his own 2 feet and take care of what he has. You already did your job in raising him and he needs to do his job. Tell him no, he's not going to be living with you, but he is allowed to visit. Take it or leave it, you have your life to live too.
2006-12-08 11:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, and tell him he needs to stand on his own two feet, and take care of his family. He may not like it, but once he realizes living with you is not an option, he may do the right thing. Good luck!
2006-12-08 11:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you love him and his family and you realize they are going through hard times but unfortunately you cant help them out. That you believe in him and know he is capable of doing it on his own. Guide him but dont let him fall back on you....Good Luck
2006-12-08 11:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word is no. Perhaps offer to help them out some, but you are under no obligation to house him and his family.
2006-12-08 11:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Aggie80 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him NO, he is an adult and its time to start acting like one.
2006-12-08 11:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you are sorry but he needs to find another place.
2006-12-08 11:14:38 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋