I have a gf.she is nice but she is very sensitive in every thing.She want to marry with me but there are lots of problems.First of all our languages are different our cultures are totally different.Actually we are toltally different,if i say right she will say left,if i say up she will say down and one thing more if any boy deceive any girl she thinks i will do same thing with her.I am totally confused.But still we love each other.I dont know what to do?
2006-12-08 02:43:33 · 8 answers · asked by siz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is an old saying “opposites Attract”. Unfortunately, just because a saying is “old” does not make it right.
Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist and author of "Date or Soul Mate says "If the qualities that attract you to someone are different from your own, be cautious” Dr Warren points out that, while opposites often attract, they also usually drive each other crazy over the long haul. He has been counseling married couples for three decades so when he advises you to “find someone similar to you" I think its good relationship advice.
In his book, he says “I don't discount how hard it is to find someone who is a lot like you. It has always been difficult, and it's become even more so as diversity increases. Nevertheless, when two people come from similar backgrounds, they operate from a position of strength. Their relationship is made significantly easier by all the customs and practices they have in common."
Now you may be the exception to norm. Some people are just like you two are “opposite” in every way, and they remain married for decades. However, having a relationship with an opposite is so hard because every difference you have requires negotiation and adaptation. Accommodation and compromise will necessitate plenty of change. This change creates a kind of stress, and if there are too many differences, you may not be able to survive all the strain involved in adapting to each other.
However, the question you have to ask yourself is, “If this is such problem now, that I am asking for advice, what will it be like when were married, when things get more complicated (like having kids)”
2006-12-08 03:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to get married - problems won't go away just because you get married, so don't. If you can't work on your problems together maybe you can talk to a professional, if you love one another that much it would be worth it to see if you are truly compatible. Sounds like too many issues. I wish you well.
2006-12-08 10:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u are questioning urself now about marriage, dont do it...cuz it will just end in a nasty divorce..u know they say that oppisites attract, well that could be just what u have...good luck
2006-12-08 10:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out while you can before it's too late. They say opposites attract, but I'd have to say this one doesn't. Good luck, sounds like you're going to need it.
2006-12-08 10:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by dumbdago 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget marriage,,,,use your time together to get to know each other properly,,yes,she may be insecure but that MAY change,,it also may not,,time will tell and it is cheaper than divorce. if she feels marriage will somehow stop you from leaving/cheating she is immature anyway,,it is you and your actions that will convince her you are different,not a ring and a ceremony.
2006-12-08 10:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sweetie, you don't love this girl, you love what you THINK she is, or what you THINK she can become.... And that is far different that the reality of being huge cultures apart.
2006-12-08 13:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on there will be nothing but problems if you stay, you've basically answered your own question
2006-12-08 10:48:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like maybe you need to find someone else you are more compatible with!
2006-12-08 10:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋