My husband told me that because we haven't had sex often in the past he finds it hard to be intimate with me because he's been rejected too much. I know it's my fault and I did that out of laziness but now that I see we're having issues with it I'm trying to fix things by wanting sex often and by choice but when I come on to him he doesn't want to do anything. My question is what are some things I can do to gain the intimacy back? Please Help
2006-12-08 02:38:24 · 9 answers · asked by bettyspagettii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Genuinely smile at him. Look at his mouth often when you are close. This will let him know you want to kiss him, or atleast are thinking about kissing him. Talk to him about his work, his hobbies, make him feel important. Thank him for what he does, when and if he does it, like helping around the house, working as hard as he does.
When he's watching TV. Get behind him and rub his shoulders. Read a book on massage. Learn how the muscles work and how to really give a good one.
Touch. A lot of touching helps. Grab his hand when you are walking. Reach for his arm. Tell him that you love it when he puts his arms around you, it makes you feel safe.
I'm 36, and know what I makes me feel passionate toward the woman I am intamate with. The main thing, is feeling strong. When she makes me feel strong, I feel passionate. I like to know I am the man in her life. It makes me want to prove it in the bedroom even more!
2006-12-08 02:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are very sexual beings. That is the main thing that keeps men in relationships and taking that away, men do find it hard to stay connected with their spouse.
I think the best thing to do is surprise him. Just take him by surprise and wake up early in the morning and start off on him. That will jump start him and try to have these surprises a few times a week to really get his drive going once again. He will catch on and the intimacy will come around one again.
2006-12-08 02:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by goldenfir 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Change your attitude first, that your husband, he is suppose to be please. What ever you did to get you need to do all over again. Don't get so comfortable where it's boring..... If you love him try asking him out on a date to have a glass of wine , then take a walk on the beach or somewhere no one will be. If your sleepy all the times that will cause problem too, men love to have sex at night. just do it and get it over with. Try that for a month and watch he will be turn back on. DON'T GET TO COMFORTABLE. GOOD LUCK
2006-12-08 09:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by sassylady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem isn't that he isn't interested or attracted to you. It's that he no longer cares or bothers to get excited over the promise of having sex.
What you need to do is first talk to him about it and see if he has any suggestions. Make him understand that you want to try and improve your sex-life (and not just on the short-term). This may help.
2006-12-08 02:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk it over, make sure you are both on the same page about wanting to make things better, then come up with some ideas, such as date nite, sex board games, maybe get some books on rekindling your sex life etc, and then together chose someplace to start, but you gotta be on the same page
2006-12-08 02:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should call Dr. Phil!!
2006-12-08 03:49:45 · answer #6 · answered by kdhiggs05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
initiate it once in a while
2006-12-08 02:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him back rubs
kiss him more
2006-12-08 02:48:36 · answer #8 · answered by movielovingirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dress sexy, porn movies
2006-12-08 02:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋