I finally lost my virginity to him, and he became my first true love. I went away to college over 600 miles away, but we managed to make the long-distance relationship work. He eventually moved to where I was living. We dated for 8 years, lived together for 3 of those years, and finally got married. I made the horrible mistake of having an affair a year into our marriage. I don’t know why I did, but I wish I hadn’t! We were struggling financially, and going through a rough patch-so I guess I was questioning our relationship? We got a divorce, & I moved 1.5 hours away. But we still talk regularly and see each other on occasion. We usually end up having sex when we do see each other. We’re both in other relationships. I tell him how I still love him and miss him-he doesn’t say anything. I know I hurt him so bad, but yet he still acts like he still cares for me? Is it just sex to him, or does he still care? Should I try to see if maybe we could work things out, or move on?
2006-12-08 02:26:50 · 18 answers · asked by Lost in Love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should try and work things out. You're the one who screwed up so you're probably the one who needs to make an effort to get him back. I doubt it's just sex to him. He probably still loves you a lot but is afraid to trust you. Make him talk and tell you what exactly he's feeling.
2006-12-08 02:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way to figure this out..is to ask him. It's obvious you still love him...and obvious he still cares for you. Whether he'll date you again... is really a question for him.
I would like to point something out though. You did make a mistake in the past... and now you're making it again. You're admitting, that you're in a different relationship, and you're cheating on THAT man, with your ex husband. How can you convince your ex hubby that you're sorry, and won't cheat on him again, if you're cheating on someone else now? To me, if you want to show him you've changed... you should lose the other man.
Also... he's now doing the same thing....he's now cheating on his new girlfriend too...
It sounds to me, like the two of you need to have a conversation that starts with "What are we doing, and where is this going?"
Good luck
mj
2006-12-08 02:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny you need to move on he is just using you for sex because he knows he can.... Tell him that unless he wants a relationship you will no longer sleep with him and see where he runs.. You are both lieing to your other part since you are already in a relationship.... If you tell him you love him and he says nothing there is your answer... Run away from this the time has set on your guys time......
2006-12-08 02:33:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll never trust you again and frankly he shouldn't. You betrayed him far beyond comprehension. If you get back together and go through another rough patch in your relationship are you going to sleep around again? You'll say 'no', but how will he know, you've done it before. Right now you are just a fling to him and he's getting satisfaction from that. Consider yourself being used at this point. High five to your ex!
2006-12-08 02:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just a boinking buddy, at this point. An old lady friend of mine once said, "the only thing good reheated is stuffed cabbage." You are betraying your current relationship by screwing an ex..... not nice, hon, not nice at all, and you wouldn't want it done to you. If your bf finds out, if he doesn't vomit in your face you'll be lucky. Your actions are immoral and unethical. Since you asked, you need to terminate your relations with one or the other, but frankly, I think you're being used......
2006-12-08 06:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him because that's all it is right now to him is sex. You need to figure out what you want. If you want a relationship with him, you need to tell him so. Let him decide if he wants a relationship or not. Continuing to have sex with him when he is not ready for a commitment is not going to do anything but hurt you emotionally. If he doesn't want a commitment, I say move on.
2006-12-08 02:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. You should see if you can work things out and if not then don't keep seeing him and sleeping with him. Your other half and his other half are going to find out and then your both just screwed and not even enjoying it! You should just break up with who your with if you really want to be with your ex if not move on. Unless there's kids involved there no reason for communication regularly. Good luck!
2006-12-08 02:30:26 · answer #7 · answered by catdogpenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're a bad person. I'm just wondering why a grown man wants a girl in high school.
2016-05-23 06:30:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
KIM HEY IM NOT REALLY THAT BIG ON KNOWING THE RIGHT ANSWERS BUT AS IVE SEEN IN MY OWN MESED UP RELATIONSHIP. ME AND MY HUSBEND HAVE SEPERATED AND WE CLAM WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER, BUT WHEN HE COMES TO SEE THE KIDS, AND THATS WHEN HE COMES SEE'S THEM WE ALWAYS HAVE SEX AND HE SAYS HE WONTS TO COME HOME AND MAKE OUR LIFE WORK, AND RAISE OUR KIDS AND START OVER, WELL I ASK A QUESTION EARLIER TO SEE WHAT WOULD BE SAID AND THE FUNNY THING IS, IS THAT HE CHEATED AND LEFT ME.. BUT I GOT COUGHT UP IN MESSING WITH MY GUY FRIEND AFTER HE LEFT AND I WANT MY FAMILY BACK BUT I DONT WONT TO LET GO OF THE GUY FRIEND B/C HE IS THERE FOR ME.. AND WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND WE LOVE OUR KIDS, MY ANSWER FOR YOU IS THINK REAL HARD ABOUT THIS, B/C IF IT DIDNT WORK B-4 IT ANT GONNA WORK NOW.. YALL WILL ALWAYS LOVE EACH OTHER AND WILL PROBABLY ALWAYS HAVE SEX, BUT IF YOUR HAPPY WITH THAT GO FOR IT, IF YOU THINK THAT ITS GONNA CAUSE YOU AND HIM MORE HEART ACHE STOP IT NOW. WE LIVE AND LOVE, FUNNY BUT WE LEARN FROM IT TO, USE YOUR OWN CALL ON THIS ONE B/C YOU NO YOUR HEART AND HIS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, YALL HAVE TO MAKE CHOICES THAT ARE WELL FOR BOTH OF YOU.. AS FAR AS HIM, HE MUST LOVE YU AND ENJOY YALLS SEX LIFE OR HE WOULD KEEP COMEING BACK AND NEITHER WOULD YOU.. IT LOOKS LIKE TO ME THAT YALL STILL HAVE IT, SO MAKE THE BEST OF IT UNTIL YALL ARE BOTH SURE..:)
2006-12-08 02:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by JANICE R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY TO WORK IT OUT! There is an unmistakable bond here, and that's what's pulling on you. A man and wife are supposed to remain together, and you should make every effort humanly possilbe to reconcile.
Get out of your "other relationship", though. That is not good.
2006-12-08 02:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋