after being married for ten years, I got divorced a few months ago. I have a beautiful six year old daughter and I still have a good relationship with her mom.
My question is, when is the right time to start dating again without causing any emotional and/or phycological problems to my daughter???
2006-12-08 01:52:28 · 13 answers · asked by Metrallo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give yourself time to heal mentally, at least before attempting to get serious with another girl. Understand that the first few dates will likely be short term, even though you'll have a desire to get attached. Over time, 6 months - 12 months out, you will get more level headed concerning other women.
As for your daughter, don't try to hide your dating from her. Kids are very observant. If she is lead to believe that you are hiding your actions from her, she will trust you less and that could lead to long term issues. Explain to her in simple terms about your occassional dating up front. And try not to bring the women into her path, unless it gets serious between you and a particular woman. Overall, don't hide it, but don't get your daughter involved until it's serious.
2006-12-08 03:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by redjetta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jorge,,
It will take years if not never,, for your daughter to be happy with you having another woman besides “mom” in your life. At 6 she is NOT prepared emotionally for this. Know it sounds dishonest but if you are ready for dating go ahead, BUT do NOT tell your daughter-ex-wife, or anyone who would purposely or inadvertently “blab” you are seeing other women. It will get back to your daughter. If and when you have a good solid relationship that appears it will last forever or,, you plan on getting married, then tell your daughter…give her plenty of time to adjust to this “new woman in your life” and be prepared for her rebelling against your choice in a woman. It won’t matter how wonderful the new woman is, your daughter may not like/accept her at all. Her parents getting on with their lives finding new significant other’s, will be the final straw in her eyes signifying the “divorce” is truly final and her parents are never getting back together. Oh,, the ex-wife will encounter exactly the same situation if/when she starts finding another man in her life. Aside from the “other woman” issue, it’s your responsibility to keep a great relationship with your daughter and effectively COMMUNICATE always. She still needs you and always will !!
2006-12-08 02:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by logicalanswer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have good news for you! Divorce is a 'sever punishment!' YOU should not expect cookies and price, if you really LOVE your daughter physical and MENTAL heath. She may not object to you, and even show consent; however, if you violate, she would give you hard time in 2020 and after...
I divorced twenty five years ago, and I never started any relationship as my children were living with me.
IF you really love your daughter, you should avoid any kind of relationship until she become an 'adult' woman; at least 18 or older! Adult means 'Emotionally balanced stage to establish LOGIC"
IF, you could not wait that long; then, you do NOT need to bring women to your home where you daughter lives.
JUST tell them your 'terms & conditions' such as that you would meet them in their place, and if they accept; you do not need to tell your daughter about women that you are meeting.
SO, my best suggestion is that, IF IT IS POSSIBLE, try your best to get back with your ex-wife, and make your Daughter VERY VERY Happy for EVER!
IF it is not possible to get back with your ex; if your ex-wife in MENTALLY healthy and is NOT abusive; just let your daughter live with her, as she has a lot of thing to say to her mom that can not say to you...with is few years your daughter is a 'woman' too!
I am really feeling very sad for your family, your daughter, you and your ex-wife. It is very sad that Divorce is a huge World Wide Problem today!
2006-12-08 02:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by Iranian Amigo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Start dating as soon as your ready. I would however keep your daughter out of your relationships until you become serious with a woman that you might consider marrying. You don't want get her involved with multiple women that your just dating...
2006-12-08 02:01:51 · answer #4 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can start dating anytime, but please be careful and talk to your daughter first. I know she is still young, but explain to her that a six year old can understand. Simply let her know that daddy is lonely and you met a friend or would like to meet new friends. When you do meet someone let her know that she will always come first in your life. Make sure the woman you start to date never goes between you and your daughter. Good luck
2006-12-08 02:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by Ms.Deb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
never....but if you do, don't involve your daughter in your dating life until you are really sure you know the woman well, why parade a bunch of women thru her life, she's had enough crap w/your divorce, what if you date someone for two years, involving your daughter, she becomes attached to the woman, and then you break up, that's totally not fair to your daughter.
2006-12-08 02:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experts would tell you when your cild is eighteen years old. That's probably not what you want to hear. It only makes things more complicated for the child when the parents re-marry or start dating.
2006-12-08 02:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by curious george 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can start dating and dont tell ur daughter until u can find someonie ur going to date for a while.. then talk to ur daughter how she feel about it .. and tell her thats the new GF not taking mommy place in her life.. but to be her friend .. but main thing is to go with ur heart when u feel right with tellin her..
2006-12-08 02:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by bowpeep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as soon as you feel comfortable dating again is the right time to date. your daughter will adapt easily. you seem to be a caring dad so she will understand and if your happy then she will be happy too.
2006-12-08 02:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead and date now, just don't involve your daughter in it until you are sure its serious.
2006-12-08 02:01:44 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋