My brother & I have been having problems. He's extremely disrespectful. I have no contact with him except when our mother invites us both over to her house. On Thanksgiving my brother ate & ran literally!!! Should I say this to my mother "If you want to have a separate Christmas with X that is fine with my husband & I. We don't want anyone to be uncomfortable nor spend time with us if they really don't want to."
My "family" and I have no contact. There are no phone calls and rare visits. I have no idea why my mother wants to try & play this game of having Christmas together. There were years when we didn't have Christmas together. A few years ago for a period of 2 years she didn't call me and I didn't call her. I don't understand the need to live out a lie. My husband views it as us having a place to go to spend time. I view it as a Walton lie. We're not the Waltons why pretend that we are? Would you recommend celebrating on different days?
2006-12-08 01:10:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am going through almost the same thing. My brother and sister both are like your brother. My mom seems to have been taking their sides, so I am not going. My dad has always been good to me and my family and does not take sides. I just told my mom that if she and my dad wanted to see me and my family, they should come to our house. I would not be coming to theirs. My mom and I used to have a wonderful relationship, phone calls everyday, but I may have only talked to her about 4 times in the past 6 months. My brother lives next door to my mom and dad, and his wife is a, well I don't even have words, so they are always there. You owe it to yourself to have a stress free and enjoyable holiday and you need to do what is best for you. Sorry for all the rambling on and on, but I understand how you feel. You have a Merry Christmas and God Bless.
2006-12-08 01:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by ransdoll90 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas should be special. Your mom is getting older and may be trying to make up for something and probably has some regrets. However, Christmas is supposed to be memorable and something you look forward to. Spend time with your husband at home making your holiday memorable with new traditions of your own. Send your family gifts and regrets that you won't be attending but that you wish them well. Sometimes distance is the best medicine for all. Move on with your life and include them only as much as you are comfortable with. You aren't a child anymore and can arrange things to suit yourself. Sometimes boundries get skewed in families. The distance can put some control back into your life. When your husband sees how much freer and happier you are without having to act a part ; he will support you.
2006-12-08 01:25:12 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husbands family is the same way their parents have since passed away but his oldest sister just lives right up the highway from us and we just sent out our christmas cards and she has not even bothered to say hello or thank you or anything of that nature. I mean and his niece is the same way . He does not care to go up to his sisters house for christmas and I have never met the woman cause she has never made the effort and neither has my husband so yeah he is pretty much the same way he chooses not to spend christmas with them as well . I mean I understand what you are going through and yes celebrate on different days. :Like you take christmas eve and let your brother have christmas day that would be an alternative. good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-08 02:12:01 · answer #3 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2006-12-11 18:14:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not suggest celebrating on different days. You are an adult and you have the right to decline the invitation. Especially since you don't sound like you wanna go anyway.
2006-12-08 01:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by sweetsexylocs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Christmas is a time for family, pray for them that you'll become closer remember you only get one family.
2006-12-08 01:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋