I am having a total hip replacement next month so i can't do much right now..........................so after my hip surgery should i come back to live w/my husband?
2006-12-08 01:09:23 · 29 answers · asked by VICTORIA L 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At first glance I said Hell no.... then i read the rest of your note about the hip replacement.
IF you and your ex are still friends and there is no ulterior motive on your part AND he genuinely wants to help you through the recovery ...I say give it a go. Otherwise if you are thinking of doing it because you still have emotional ties to him ..then get a friend or relative to help you through recovery.
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Now the first part of the letter makes it sound like your ex wants his cake and eat it too...Let me say from experience that rarely works out. It is very difficult to go back in time.
I have known couples in your situation that BECAUSE they were good friends managed to live together after the split but usually only after a several years and it being a matter of economics and companionship
Bottom line honey, YOU must decide what's right for #1--You !
2006-12-08 01:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on why he filed for divorce and why he wants to still live with him. If he wants the divorce because he doesn't love you anymore or is in love with someone else, then the question you have to ask yourself is can you be around him and let him help you after your surgery, knowing that your marriage is over. If you have anyone else you can lean on, the answer to that question should be no.
2006-12-08 09:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want you to live with him? My parents divorced and I can totally see now how they would have been better off to have stayed together. My father would have had someone to care for him in his old age. I would sit down and decide what you want from your husband. Do you want sex with him? He may be thinking that if you are back in the home that you'll have sex with him & basically be a wife without the legal or financial benefits.
If you can get along with your husband and if he's going to submit financial support then I say do it. But only if you'd be happy.
2006-12-08 09:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by purplemonkeydiswasher_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!! It sounds like he wants to create a situation where he has to pay you no child support or alimony, where he doesn't want to divide your assets and wants to have his cake and eat it too. You have to have more self-respect than that. Tell him if he wants a divorce he has to pay for it, move out and give you what you are worth. DO NOT allow this man to continue to live in your home and see other women, which is what will happen. You deserve much better than that. Wait until after your surgery, get all your ducks in a row and see an attorney.
2006-12-08 09:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by Snick S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you still live with him if he wants a divorce? Does he think that you're not good enough to be a wife but acceptable enough to be a room mate?? After you get that new hip give him a swift kick to the curb!
2006-12-08 09:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by honeybaby729 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he still wants to live with you but filed for a divorce you need to ask yourself why he filed for divorce in the first place. Better yet ask him why he filed for a divorce....
2006-12-08 09:44:38 · answer #6 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, once the divorce is final, I would move on. Hope your surgery goes well - how about moving in with your family until you get back on your feet again?
2006-12-08 09:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there more info that your not sharing? Has this been along time coming?Is there someone else?Is he using any substances? Why did he pick this time,when you really need support to get a divorce?And will he be supportive of you thru this period of recuperation?At first it looks like he wants his cake and to eat it too.OR like he is just offering this out of feelings of guilt.Either way is this what YOU want?
2006-12-08 09:21:08 · answer #8 · answered by april showers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really dependent upon how you feel. Is this something that you can deal with, emotionally. I had a very good friend who did this after being divorced she allowed her x to move in to help her. They fell back in love and got remarried. I will keep you in my prayers. And I wish you all the luck and a very speedy recovery. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-08 09:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did he file for divorce if he still wants to live with you?
2006-12-08 09:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by Ha Ha Charade You Are................... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋