Everywhere I work, I get "You're so quiet. Are you ok?" and it's just been said to me now. I'm starting

Question

to feel embarrassed again. I am such a quiet, quiet person and a very quiet worker and hate it when people have to bring it to light in this way. I usually answer, "I'm ok really. I'm just a very quiet work, but thanks for asking". Now I'm worried what they're all thinking and I feel scared again. Can someone give me some encouragement or advice, even. Thanks.

Answer 1

Ignore it. I always used to get that. People don't realise you're shy and quiet. What I hate more is when I'm out and people say "smile why don't you". Like I have to have a permanent grin on all the time! Just human nature.

Answer 2

It is really nothing to worry about. It's not a crime to be quiet. In fact I wish a few people that I know were more like you.

But how do you see it? You use words such as embarrassed, worried and scared. Do you see being quiet as a problem? Does it cause you discomfort in other areas of your life? If it does then try to find someone you trust to talk about this.

But for the moment you wonder why your colleagues keep asking you this. They might be genuinely concerned that you may have some physical or emotional problem that you are internalising. Or how about this as an alternative? If they have not known you for very long they may be more concerned that they have done something that is making you feel you don't fit in. It's a possiblity.

Anyway, be assured that you are dealing with the situation correctly with your usual answer.

Answer 3

I agree with the others. Don't worry about it. I am, by nature, a very quiet person at work or otherwise. I had a job where my co-workers kept wanting to know if I was ok, or not because I was always really quiet. After a while, they realized that I worked quietly and I usually got more work done when I was quiet, and they came to accept that.

On another note, after a while I started to loosen up around them also, and started to talk more to them because they didn't pressure me to talk if I didn't want to, so I'm sure you will be fine at work also, and I'm sure your co-workers will eventually understand. It's nice that they were compassionate enough to worry about you though. Good luck!

Answer 4

I always get asked that and I just look surprised, shrug and say, "I don't know. I'm fine." and give them a quizzical look as if they are the one who is acting weird. There's never been an issue after that. I don't worry what other people are thinking because I don't see any reason for them to think anything bad about me for being quiet. Sometimes I worry that maybe some people don't think I like them because I don't talk much but I make up for it with nice gestures like offering to share my candy or food items with people, doing small and easy favors for people without them asking. Little things, just so they know I don't hate them.

Answer 5

Hey, thats just who you are! And perhaps your collegues are a louder bunch of people and automatically assume that if someone is quiet, something is wrong.

Theres no mailice behind it sweetheart, its nice to see that they are concerned about you.

Just smile and be gracious. If you want, you can interact with a couple of them on a one to one basis, get to know them a little better. Just smile and be really friendly. If people start up a conversation, smile, nod and look interested. If people notice that your not worrying or deliberately keeping your head down, they should get the message that your quiet, and thats all.

Don't worry about it too much babe :)

Answer 6

I know frustrating - sometimes you just want to be left alone!
Look - if you're happy that's great - try to think about it as their problem and not yours! And they are probably bored and boring and can't think of anything else to say!

Some people can feel threatened by a quiet person as they don't know what you are thinking and can't read you - use that as a power tool - rather than some bimbo who blabs about her life all the time.

Next time they ask - answer "yes, I'm fine" and look at them as if they are mad!

Answer 7

I know what you mean. And I get tired of people assuming that just because you're quiet, that you're also shy. Some people just don't talk a lot. I have found over time, that in order to maintain good working relationships with co-workers over the years to push myself to make sure I say "good morning, how are, you, etc." and so on to people just to make them feel comfortable and in the end make my own life easier, also. You will feel more confident and comfortable with yourself if you make it a practice to confidently say "good morning Bill" or whatever people's names are.

Answer 8

Next time they mention it. Tell them it's because your devising a plan to take over the world and ask them if they would like to join your secret organization. That will get them laughing or thinking one or the other. I'm quiet sometimes too. It usually takes someone to talk to me first, and than I'm nothing but a know it all. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Answer 9

Isn't that annoying? It's the same as someone saying, "You're so quiet, don't you feel well?" They make it sound like if you aren't a big talker there must be something wrong with you. Some people are just naturallly quiet.

You can't help what they are thinking. What you are telling them is just fine. If they aren't total idiots they will let it go.

Answer 10

As an introvert I don't understand why being "quiet" is considered so wrong and necessary to garner attention. Unfortunately introverts live in a very extrovert oriented society where somehow "shy" and "quiet" are seen as handicaps. I hope that changes! Aren't we supposed to embrace and accept differences? Sorry about answering your question with another question.