i dont know what i have this feeling right now,i admit im still inluv my husband eventhough he gave me a lot of pain and heartache.sometimes i cant help it to cry especially when when im looking a happy family.My husband betrayed me and cheted me alot of times and now he is living with somebody.he wants to come back with me again but i didnt accept him because everytime im thinking of all the pain he gave to me i feels like he crashing my heart.The LAST TIME i talked to him i said dont call me anymore and dont bother my life and my kids anymore and i told him that i will not push him anymore for the childsupport for our kids,because his not really responsible father for my kids and he also have kids with the other girl,not this new girl.but the mother of his two kids in states they are separated now and have a new one in his life now.i didint know all about this until his mother told me that.i was so stupid i admit it just that i trusted him so much.how can i move on with this?
2006-12-08 00:28:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
With the love and support of your children, family and friends.
ps: Im glad you didnt take him back - that was a very smart move.
Good luck and God Bless you
2006-12-08 00:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by DeeDee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be really proud of yourself for not letting him back into your life, and the lives of your kids. He evidently has a pattern of cheating and those things do not change on thier own.
He needs some serious therapy and help to resolve why he cheats and why he can't be faithful to his sife and to the mother of his children. It is not for you to figure out or to solve for him. You have enough on your plate, by just having to manage your life and the lives of your kids.
Time does heal so much but it is painful and hard to go through it. Trust me, I have been there, but it does get better in time. I left my son's father when I was 8 weeks pregnant for some very good reasons. I do not regret my choice and have been able to raise a happy, healthy, and very loved child without his father involved.
People make thier own choices and they must deal with the consequences. This man sounds like he has made many bad choices even before you married him. It is usually a pattern and stems from insecurity and low self-esteem. Again, he needs some serious counseling and you just need to move onward and upward.
Get some good books. Barbara de Angelis is a great author about such things as she has been through it herself. You should also repeat some positive affirmations everyday that help keep you strong and encouraged. Use this time to heal yourself. Also use this time to make sure your children understand it was not thier fault as children often think the break up of a marriage had something to do with them.
Good luck and stay positive. You did the best thing. Trust me, years from now you will look back and be so proud of yourself and so happy that you stayed strong.
2006-12-08 00:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by Singthing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a extremely difficult time for you sweetie and almost anything we tell you won't seem like it will stop your pain. I do understand what you are going through Because I am in a similar situation now myself. All I can say is if he is not a loving and kind father to your kids then maybe you are right not to let him pay child support and stay away from your kids. If he will break their hearts then protect them.
As for the pain you are feeling, try to go to counseling and surround yourself with positive things and people. Attend church, read books on how to get over this relationship go out with friends and watch uplifting movies like Tyler Perry movies and plays. They always have an uplifting message and will give you hope.
I hope that this will be of some comfort to you.
If you would like to. go yahoo 360 and check out my blog and see where I am coming from.
Good luck
2006-12-08 00:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very heartbreaking when a marriage breaks up, even if it was a bad one to begin with. The fact that you're still in love with him makes it even harder! You need to start over but it will take time for the pain of your break-up to lessen. Focus on your kids and yourself. When he calls asking to come back just keep reminding yourself of the pain he caused you while you were still together. Be firm with him and let him know that it's definitely over for good! Don't back down! You will be happy again someday and free of the pain he caused you.
By the way, I don't think it's right for you to give up getting child support from him. Is he not the father? If he is, then he's certainly responsible for your children, both financially and emotionally.
I wish the best for you.
2006-12-08 00:39:26 · answer #4 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the very best thing that you could and that is to not call him anymore and allow him to be a part of your life. He is obviously irresponsible and not trustworthy. You can't depend on him for anything and you don't need someone who will treat you with disrespect and lie to you always and be with other women and making more children. Your children do not need to see their mother being hurt so much. They will grow up to think that is normal and let other people hurt them the same way. You don't want that for your kids. Be strong and in time you will find a man who will love you and your kids and who will always be good to you if you are patient. Good Luck.
2006-12-08 01:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T say that you're stupid for this whole thing! HE is the stupid one...that is just awful what he did to you. I'm sure that you are still in love with him, after all he is your husband, but I would not suggest getting back together with him after all that you have gone through, because there is basically no chance that he will ever change. I am so sorry, and good luck!
2006-12-08 00:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by HOt soCCER chicK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will answer for his sins. You have a responsibility to your children and yourself! Begin by reading and studying the BIBLE. I would read Paul's letters to Timothy to find the answers that you are seeking. Timothy was a young Christian Preacher and Paul was an Apostle. You can find a Christian Man that will treat you and your children as you should be treated. Have a great holiday (with your children).
Eds
2006-12-08 00:36:06 · answer #7 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...........get child support for your children. THEY deserve to be taken care of. And, get some emotional support for yourself. It's so easy to be fooled by someone..but, now that you know what he is really like, you need to have him out of your life. I believe that there is a soul mate for each of us....Pick yourself up....be positive..look at the good things in life....some lucky man will see you and be thankful.
2006-12-08 00:51:10 · answer #8 · answered by Lori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r right ,do not allow him to enter ur life again he don't deserve u.
u have kids ,so it becomes critical for u to bring up kids provide them best edcation,&to place them very well in the society.
think in that direction .
my best wishes are with u.
2006-12-08 00:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by shwetha sharma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he abused you, he doesn't love you. Don't you want someone who loves you? Don't you want to be happy? YOU deserve to be with a man who loves you and makes you happy. True love DOESN'T hurt. You need to learn to love yourself also before you can expect any man to.
2006-12-08 00:31:34 · answer #10 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋