why cant i get the particular type of girl i want?

Question

or the response from the type of girl i want? every response i get from myspace or a datin site is from someone who im not remotly interested in, physically. i want a youngish girl from 19 to 25 whos very pale and chubby...but i never get that, i keep thing their are people out there or elements out there controling my life so i cant have that and its making me angry. iam a lonely person, and want so much more with my life, im trying to get my psychological, psychiatric problems addressed, im waiting for a second opinion and the right treatment. i have a very low self esteem. but this is the kind of girl i seek, and im not getting that and its making me angry, the chubby pale young girl of who i describe, i dont want any other person im very choosy. i feel maybe people are saying i cant do that or controling my life so i dont get that. how should i feel about this. what outlook should i have on it to make it easier?

Answer 1

I say hang in there. Don't give up.

Answer 2

Error #1 - you are trying to meet a chubby chick online as if anyone of them would even trust an online date site.
Most of them are NOT that stupid. Get out to real life to look for one.

Error #2 - your only interest is a couple of physcial specificatons - means you are an no brain idiot - real girls have personalities but you have totally skipped that part of life so they are "skipping" you, gee, I wonder why ?

There are more errors but correcting 1 & 2 will be huge, get past those then maybe the rest could be addressed.

Answer 3

Psychiatric problems aside, your problem is nearly the same as the problem of most people. They want something, and they want it to match their ideal. Not getting it is very frustrating and wreaks havoc on self-esteem and sense of empowerment.

The solution may seem counterintuitive. Don't tackle the problem head-on, but "out-flank" it by doing something else. Get a job somewhere where the type of person you're looking for is most likely to be found. Library? Coffee shop? Work there, learn all about the job, and gain skills and knowledge. When you meet people, meet them as unique individuals, and learn about them through casual conversation. Don't put pressure on yourself or your relationship with this person by thinking, "This may be a person who I can be in a 'relationship' with."

You may find yourself gaining friends, which is good in itself. And among these friends, you may find that there is a "special one." Have patience, though. It may take a long time for all this to happen. Simply enjoy the "journey," meeting people and making friends. No pressure.

Whatever happens, you will have improved yourself by learning new things in various jobs. Life is good, whether or not we get the things we want. (Sometimes, "wanting" is the problem.)

Just my 5 cents (not just 2).

Best wishes.

Answer 4

As part of a school paper, I once asked 20 happily married couples if they ended up with the type of person they thought was their ideal: in other words, did you get who you wanted. Only 3 people out of 40 said yes, they ended up with who they imagined. By being so picky, you are forcing loneliness upon yourself. If you are as lonely as you say, I'd think you'd be willing to see someone outside of your small box. Take a chance and go out with someone who doesn't fit into your 'ideal' box - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Answer 5

pal let me give you some good advice pal first take care of you then you wont have no problems getting the broad you want or ten of them put the love life on hold most gals who got weight would be happy to have a guy that dont tell them they aint good enough so first take care of you pal then all of it will come to you and you wont even be trying

Answer 6

Try figuring out where pale and chubby girls hang out. And then go there.

Answer 7

sorry dude but a note to all the young chubby pale girls out there ... run! run as fast as you can! this guy has issues that you dont want to get mixed up in.