This was 3 yrs back. I used 2 be very lonely at that time. I met this girl ABC who seemed to like me. We became good frnds. Then she asked me to marry her. I did not want to lonely again and so I said we'ld after sum time. We continued the relationship but after few months I realized that she was not my type. I wanted to tell her the truth but never had the courage. Then 1 day I suddenly just stopped talking to her and didnt reply her calls or emails. Few months later I met another girl XYZ and this time I thought I found the right one for me. We became good frnds and I did proposed her. She said yes. However a month back I found out that she was two timing me and had another guy too. Serves me right. I fully deserved it. I feel so guilty about what I did to ABC.I have realized how badly I hurt her. Even after 2 years she has the same feelings for me. Now I am so confused. Should I accept her ? I don't love her but will feel guilty all my life if i dont . :-(
2006-12-08 00:17:50 · 9 answers · asked by Whatnow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you don't love her, you would not be doing her any favors by going back to her out of guilt. Let her find someone who loves her. Don't you think she deserves that? Don't you think that you deserve to find someone who really loves you?
2006-12-08 00:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by Beth T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in ABC's boat where someone spent several years with me and then just disappeared. While on one hand I don't think that you should ever stay with someone if they are not right for you, on the other I don't think that it takes an extensive amount of time to decide one way or other. You just end up wasting each other's time. I also don't think it is right to just 'disappear' on someone so in that way you should definately feel guilty. It sounds like you were hurt by someone you loved and what you lost is looking good to you because there is no one else in the picture. Don't settle for someone who isn't absolutely right for you because if you dated again you would probably just have the same problems as before. She does not sound like a very confident or strong person to me if she would be willing to take you back after all that. I don't think that you would appreciate that characteristic about her in the end.
2006-12-08 00:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the first person said, never marry out of guilt. Marry someone that makes you happy, someone that YOU want to be with. Just think if you can spend the rest of your life with that person, what if you had kids.... things like that. You'll know right away. I dont think you necessarily deserver what XYZ did to you, however, you really need to mend that tie with ABC and let her know that she's not your type somehow. However, don't accept her unless you know you can spend the rest of your life with her, you will spend the rest of your life in misery otherwise. You wont feel guilty for the rest of your life by not staying with her, only for a short period of time till you find the one person that really makes you happy!
Good luck!
2006-12-08 00:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation you are in. And I made a bad decision. So I stopped calling and accepting her calls. And I eventually met another girl who I planned on marrying. But she was messing around behind my back with her ex. And I ran into girl 1 and she wanted to get back. But I know I did not feel the same about her. And I did not want to hurt her again. And I did not want to be miserable in a relationship. So my advice to you is not to do something you will regret in the long run. Just be open and honest with "ABC" Follow your heart.
2006-12-08 00:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by rukk1us 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back to ABC. She is clearly not the one. You will only cause more pain for her in the "long run." Dumping someone is never a fun thing if you are a good person.
My advice is focus on work and do guy stuff (go to hockey games/boxing matches, be loud in pubs, and go fishing) for at least a month before chasing other fish in the sea (not ABC or XYZ). Best to just move on.
2006-12-08 00:29:58 · answer #5 · answered by thmtom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you see that it works both ways when feelings are concerned. Your best option would be simply friends with ABC. Honesty is not only a good virtue, but ABC will have more respect for you. Everyone can use a friend, but no one wants to be miserable for the sake of someone else. Just tell her your feelings.
2006-12-08 00:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by slipnfall 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not doing her any favors by taking her back out of guilt. A relationship will never survive. I do believe that you should talk to her....tell her how truly sorry you are for hurting her. I think your guilt will slowly go away once an sincere apology has been made.
2006-12-08 01:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never marry someone out of guilt, it will eat you alive later on at some point. It's not to say that you can't have that woman in your life, being friends or whatever. But never jump into marriage for the reason being guilt on your conscience.
2006-12-08 00:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u marry her u will hurt her more. nothing bad like cheating in feelings...be honest, for not suffering later..
2006-12-08 00:25:52 · answer #9 · answered by angelina 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋