Disappeared out of my life, and have only gotten in touch with the family now that they want something off of us.I feel guilty for not helping as I think they thought that I was going to help them they wont have a good Christmas and new year If I Dont help, but they are selfish and not at all proper brothers.What should I do?I am worried about letting them back into my life as I already have problems and feel that they would add their own problems to mine.
2006-12-08 00:05:07 · 16 answers · asked by nachomanhulk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You did the right thing to not help them anymore, I know you probably feel bad but, you are not responsible for them and it is time for them to grow up and stand on their own two feet and stop wanting you to carry them along. Take a break away from them and maybe they will grow up.
2006-12-08 00:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through.I have a sister and a brother who did that to me and the only time they call is when they want something like your brothers.
I had co-signed for a car loan for my sister and she wasn't making the payments and got the car reposed so, I had to pay off the past amounts due and the in pound fee's and now I have a car that I don't want nor do I want to keep paying on. So, depending what they want you to do for them just think about it hard and think about the pros verses the con's . I know it is family but, you have to ask yourself how long has it been since you've talked or if you don't do what they are asking if they will talk to you again and if they won't talk to you or if they get mad because you wouldn't help them then, you are most likely better off without them in your life. I talk to my sister about once a month if she calls because she wants something other wise I don't hear from her so that is another issue if they call and talk to you w/out asking for something. Good luck to you and don't feel bad no matter what you decide.
2006-12-08 08:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by ws_422 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep them at a distance like you have been doing. Do not cause yourself anymore pain. Think how they will treat you after you help them. Will they change & be there for you. Maybe they will use you & hurt you again. Thay might be blood related but seems to me you are the better person & you need to think of you first & the people who you are close to now. Keep that dram out of your life & don't feel guilty about it you would be takeing a big risk helping them. Good luck I wish you all the best.
2006-12-08 08:11:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a chance to be the bigger person here. Yes, your brothers have treated you badly in the past, but you can show them what good poeple are all about. Having to put up with s**t from people who don't deserve you is a part of being decent. Help them out and if they start to cause problems in your life again, just tell them that it's their problem, not yours. Good luck in proving to them that you are more mature than they have been.
2006-12-08 08:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know they are your brothers but it doesnt sound like they care, like you say, unless they need something. The ball is in your court. If you do not want them selfishly adding to your problems then do not let them back in your life. I know tht sounds cold but if you already have your own problems you dont need to worry about theirs. In a family you are there for good times and bad but seems they do not share their goodtimes with you. Stick to your guns and make sure that YOU have a Merry Christmas.
2006-12-08 08:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let the past go. Thats the first step.
You cant change your brothers, but you can set an example for them.
Treat them like human beings and stop worrying about what they DID to you.
Dont hold a grudge and enjoy christmas. You will see that something may change for the better if you let go of the past.
2006-12-08 08:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go with your heart - dont be pressured into helping them just because they are 'family'. If they have shat on you before then basically the problem they have is of their own making. They say what goes around comes around and this is a prime example. Do what you feel is right and what makes YOU happy xxxxx
2006-12-08 08:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by starlet108 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do whatever feels right. If it will make you happy to help your brothers, then do it. If you know that you won't feel good about not helping them, will you be able to live with that guilt? Ask yourself what would be more beneficial to you and your brothers in the long run. and if that doesn't work there's the cliche "Follow your heart."
2006-12-08 08:12:20 · answer #8 · answered by tammi_alley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them you can not help them. They walked out on you and have not bothered to get in touch until now when they want help financial help i suppose. They have managed all this time so they can manage again dont feel quilty abouty it harsh i know but life is.
2006-12-08 08:10:37 · answer #9 · answered by Ding Dong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can choose your friends but not your family. They are old enough to deal with their own lives do not feel responsible for them, it sounds like they are ungrateful for what you have already done. You are not obliged to help just because they are family.
2006-12-08 08:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by Annie M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋