MAKING FEEL SOON I'LL SAY BYE
AFTER I LOOK AT MYSELF AND CRY
THE JOY AND THE FEAR ALL CAME
MY MIND DIDN'T LET ME REST
IT QUESTION WAS STRONG WHY?
I COULDN'T HAVE ONE ANSWER ,IDON'T WANNA LIE
JUST NOW I KNOW I HAVE TO LEAVE
WITH DIGNITY SO HIGH I DON'T HAVE TO WEAP
CAUSE I WANNA BE SO CLEAN
THERE IS THIS FAST WAY
SO MANY REASONS NOT TO STAY
I'LL WAIT IF IT JUST ONE MORE DAY
I'LL COUNT THE MINUTES TIL I FADE AWAY
THE MISTAKE ,THE GUILT WILL STAIN HIM
WHEN I'M SURE HE WOULDN'T CARE
CAUSE HE WASN'T AND WON'T BE FAIR
FINILY A CHANCE TO BE UP IN THE AIR
NOW WHY WOULD I CRY ,IF I JUST WON'T DIE
I KNOW I'LL BE IN HEAVEN
I KNOW HE WON'T BE
CAUSE THIS IS AN ONLY CHANCE TO BE FREE
2006-12-08 00:03:03 · 5 answers · asked by Janet 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
That is so good. the wanna and the slang is good. If you like it and apreciate it it is so coooool . don't change any thing because it is a wonderful poem. I know this. If they had a contest for poems you would win. This poem is so graceful. I have good taste in these kinds of poems. you need to write more poems. you truley are a good poet, it is the greatest poem ever. you can totally make it into a song. I meen, if people don't like it they are soooooo weird. just leave it like it is. I write poetry but I'm not that good though. you need to teach me how you wrote this. It is sooooooooooooooooo awesome. I can write all day about this one poem. I think I will.....
Heres one of my poems................
I'm thankful for salvation. I'm more thankful for it than a vacation. Jesus leads me down a road to heaven. I was saved when I was seven. God loves me . I love him. when he knocked on my heart door I let him in.
See it sucks.................. Well you can't blame me . I'm only 10
2006-12-09 05:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by becca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on the grammer a little. Don't say wanna and big overuse of cause....actually....take cause out completely. Revision is the most important part of a poet's process.
2006-12-08 08:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by marvelousshouehouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, but using a non-word like "wanna" when that's the only slang is distracting. Change that, and it's a winner!
2006-12-08 08:04:47 · answer #3 · answered by just browsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK ITS SORT OF A SUICIDE LETTER, WERE YOU RAPED?
IF YOU KILL YOURSELF,YOU DONT GET INTO HEAVEN, YOU WOULD WIND UP IN HELL WITH HIM....THERE ARE LOTS OF REASONS TO LIVE, ITS JUST THAT YOU SOUND DEPRESSED.WHAT IS REALLY ON YOUR MIND?...... IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CARES,E-MAIL ME @ LUGNUTZ315@ YAHOO.COM....I WILL LISTEN.....YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE YOUR NAME.......PLEASE DONT HURT YOURSELF. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU....I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.
2006-12-08 08:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
um.
2006-12-08 08:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋