I was told today that he didn't want to see me again because I'm "just too nice". What does that mean?
2006-12-07 23:44:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
To the very first answerer - I AM A GAY MAN. I DO NOT DATE WOMEN!!!
I filed this question under the GAY section of Yahoo Answers!!!
2006-12-07 23:51:51 · update #1
dating someone is not having to 'defend' yourself. He just said "You're really too nice. You're too beautiful to hurt..." It was our 4th date.....
2006-12-07 23:59:10 · update #2
Ashley, I don't think that being a nice guy is even close to the honest reason he dumped you. I equate that with the cliche break-up line which says "It's not you, it's me." I agree with other posts which say that he was just trying to be nice to you and get out. I personally think that you are a nice guy as well from many of your postings, but you certainly can have a not-nice side as well, like your comment to the first guy posting.
And in addition, if what he said was true, and that you were just too nice for him, don't worry. There are many guys out there who would LOVE to have a nice guy, I am sure.
2006-12-08 01:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think he was just trying to soften the blow and think of an excuse. It could be completely unrelated to you - maybe he was just tired of the relationship or felt like it was time to move on. When the relationship is good, it's hard to come up with a good excuse to end it. He could also have been trying to justify it to himself. I have a friend who has used this excuse in the past - he's told guys he's ending it because they're too nice. The truth of the matter is that he's looking for the excitement and romance of a new relationship and gets bored with trying to actually make it work after the initial romantic glow has worn off. He's great as far as bringing flowers and making big romantic gestures, but lousy at stuff like cooking dinner and taking out the garbage.
It's very possible that the problem isn't you, it's him. He just doesn't want to take responsibility or to admit that he's not ready to commit or stick around.
2006-12-08 08:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Rose D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Bello-I have a feeling your ex. was just trying to be "nice" in his way of saying goodbye.
Being a nice person is a wonderful thing but sometimes others feel they don't measure up to your standards and therefore would rather be around someone else who is less so.
I have been told, a few times, I was too nice also and the person walked away. I later found out they had just met another person they would rather be with. It happens all the time. These people just didn't want to get into an argument and so were doing their "nice" thing.
Continue to be nice- The world needs more of your type.
2006-12-08 08:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by dragon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the above poster...I think we're attracted to bit of a challenge. I know I am. If a guy comes on too strong and says he can show me the world even if he really can, it would be hard for me to believe him. But if he shows a bit resistence at first, I'll try harder....
But actually that's kind of a bit of adolescent thinking. I think as we grow up, we want the nice, the loyal. We're tired of people playing hard to get already. It's like 'do you want me or don't? Stop wasting my time!'
I want a nice guy now so you can always talk to me. ;p
2006-12-08 07:55:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's happened to me, too. In my circumstance, though, the guy explained it when I asked what he meant I was "too nice." He was looking for someone more aggressive, more dominant, more controlling, and more of a "bad boy." Perhaps the guy who dumped you wanted the same rather than someone who is thoughtful, caring, and respectful.
2006-12-08 12:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by behrmark 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I was dumped for treating my boyfriend to nice. He didn't understand why I cared so much, and wanted nothing but his happiness. So he broke up with me. The good guys always come in last. But hey, don't let it bother you. The good guys always come in last, then one day we'll find us a guy, and it will all be good. Sorry about what happen.
2006-12-08 09:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by jessecolten 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In theory I guess you can be "too nice"....you know the too eager to please type. But I suspect this wasn't the case.
He probably just wanted out. He wasn't all that into you as you may have been into him. Rather than be honest and possibly hurtful, he tried to soften the "dumping" by finding a soft issue to pick with you that he could be firm about.
2006-12-08 08:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by imaginary friend 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
whether you are a gay man or a woman has nothing to do with it. My daughter dumped a fellow because he was too nice. He wouldn't argue with her. If she said it - he liked it. That gets really old. She felt that he was being wimpy. People want a strong partner that they can lean on when the going gets tough. Nobody wants someone so needy that they are afraid to stand up for themselves. If you won't be there for yourself, how do I know you'll be there for me?
2006-12-08 07:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by PRS 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Maybe that was the simpliest thing he could say....sometimes when a person breaks up they just try and think of a nice reason so they don't hurt your feelings. it was probably other things or many things combined.
Brush this off and move on and find someone who deserves you.
2006-12-08 12:10:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HawnDawg, to quote the movie Porky's, "If you're what being a man is, I'd rather be queer." You have a very sick and twisted view of what manhood is, and I'm sure the world has your father to thank for that ignorant hillbilly redneck attitude.
2006-12-08 07:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by hmghosthost 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋