I'm not married I have two children age 16 and 20 from previoous relationship and pregnant what to do?

Question

I have been in a relationship for one year. We are not married and I'm 9 weeks prgnt not planed. I have two grown boys from a different relationship. I don't get to see their father at all and once in a blue we communicate on the phone. My partner has strong negative issues with my oldest son and is very concerned about having to deal with my childrens father and is not ready for commitment with me and be a family. He feels pressured and unstable. He is not at all happy about bringing a baby into this world at this point in our lives. He is willing to assume responsibility for the baby but as for us he says time will tell. I don't want to be a single mom again. It has been very difficult for me raising two boys alone. Im very scared. I know I should of been more carefull but its too late for that. I am concidering an abortion but it is really hard. Especially that I do care for him a great deal. He cares to but not enough for a family. What do I do?

Answer 1

birht control. abortion.

Answer 2

This is a tough situation, if you were the 16 yr old I would tell you to have an abortion...but you're an adult and you have children already. You knew the consequences of your actions before hand and I know you don't need a speech. I think you should have it. It sounds to me like you do want this baby you just wish the men in your life were more responsible. I don't think we're ever given anything to deal with that a higher being doesn't think we can handle. It looks to mke like someone somewhere thinkms you can handle this. I think if you have this baby you will see his father come around, and if not child support will cover a nanny! Good luck with whatever you choose and I support any decision you make ;-)

Answer 3

First, do not provide the demise penalty for your toddler, by way of the undeniable fact that is actual your irresponsible habit that led to this. Its compared to you probably did not comprehend it ought to ensue, as you've made this "mistake" 2 situations already on your previous. Plus your son that you've might want to take precedence over your new "spouse". This guy sounds type of uncertain about even being in a courting with you. I advise do you truly opt for to be with someone who feels trapped with you because of a toddler? I dare say that no matter if there have been no being pregnant, this does not be a very hopeful courting. I pray that you're going to guage giving this toddler to a childless loving couple. i do not comprehend how moms can say "i ought to by no skill provide up my personal flesh and blood" , yet they're prepared to have it hacked to bits and sucked out. It makes no experience. i imagine you should provide up the toddler, lose this guy, get your tubes tied, and commence sparkling. discover someone who can not stay without you, and adores you. by no skill settle for mediocre.

Answer 4

you must experience very difficult time right now with all this...my advice is not to care of what anybody else is saying...you look deep into your soul and mind and find the answer to your problem. it is hard to take care of a child but sometimes they are a woman's real comfort...men always come and go..even if sometimes it looks they stay:) everybody has couple problems but sometimes enough it's enough.it's really up to you if you want this baby...and I bet you deserve better that this father to be; at least you deserve peace. it looks to me that you want this baby just not like this...alone, otherwise you would have rejected the baby immediately in your soul...also...don't feel guilty if you realize you can't keep the baby.good luck with your decision...and it doesn't matter which one will be...take care of yourself. I am against abortions..but sometimes I consider they are a sad solution...
I got pregnant with my first baby when I was 22....in the middle of my med school...and the father run as fast as he could...fortunately ...out of the blue....when my baby was 2 months old, another man fall in love with us...and we are still together, after 9 years(though we had problems...like anybody else).my story has a happy and..but I decided to keep my baby before I knew this...it was because I felt in my heart that the "thing" in my belly was my baby.

Answer 5

Abortion is an alternative, but not one I would consider, regardless of situation. That's a personal choice though and no one can tell you to get one or not get one. If you really aren't ready for another one and he feels the same way, consider adoption. There's a lot of people out there who would love to have a little one in their life and can't have children. After having my 4th child, unplanned, I know I don't need to say be more careful next time. I know I am.

Answer 6

Hello there. There is no doubt that you are in a difficult situation. What I hear tho is that if this worthless sperm donor was willing to step up and be a father to this baby you would feel differently.
I know it is rough to raise children alone. I did it and I have 5. I was married but had an absentee husband and one that did not take financial responsibility for his children. I know where you are coming from. Please know that.
You must take into consideration the fact that you know you can do this, you have done it before. This child is already here, she is growing inside of you, safe and warm and getting bigger every day. Women have proven over and over again that we do not need men to successfully raise children. You don't know this tiny person, it could be a daughter and Lord knows every woman needs a daughter. If it is a son he may be the one that will be your greatest blessing. You will notice that the divine power (whatever we want to perceive it to be) did not give the ability to bring forth life to the man. That gift was entrusted to us. "The relationship that stands at the origin of all culture, of every virtue, of every nobler aspect of existence, is that between mother and child." As Elizabeth Gould says in her book " For many millennia in many parts of the world women did, and still do bring up very fine children without the help of men." It would be lovely if he wanted to be a part of this baby's life and if he wanted to share this experience with you. Who knows maybe he will even grow up in time to participate. The fact is, this is your baby, it is growing inside of you and if you reject it, if you throw it away, you will never know what you have done. You will never know this childs face, you will never hear his or her laughter, you will discard it without ever giving it a chance. You have raised babies before. You are evidently an extraordinary woman, you can do it again. It would be wrong to so brutally punish this tiny person for the failings of the sperm donor. I am sorry but I cannot call him a father, at this point all he has done is contribute the spark that fertilized your egg. Whether or not he ever becomes a father depends on him. You are already a mother. Your baby is growing inside of you.
Life gives us a certain number of chances, a certain number of possibilities. This baby is an apportunity, a blessing, a gift from the divine and it has been entrusted to you. This baby lives. Can you really find it in your heart to end its life? If you give birth to this baby you will never be sorry. I have never seen a mother look into her babys' eyes and be sorry that she gave birth to that child. I can not even tell you the pain that I have heard in the pathetic voices of women who have taken that awful step and denied their children life.
It will be hard. Maybe this man will be inspired by your courage and maybe he will become a father. With or without his consent you are already a mother. Do not base your decision on his inadequacies! You can do it, you have done it before. He is weak and he is a failure. You are not. You are strong and you are capable, that is why YOU carry the gift. Don't let your child down. If you trade your baby for this immature man you have made a very poor deal.
Stand up for your baby. Protect her or him. Be the woman you know how to be. You can do this.
My words are not empty. If you do not have family I know that there are services out there that will help mothers in your situation. If you need baby things contact me and I will send you what I have. I am sincere in this offer. If you need help, I will help you to find it. If I know where you live I can put you in touch with social service agencies that can help if you need that.
This man is not worth giving up your child for. There is no guarantee that he will be around even if you do give up your baby. Do what you know in your heart is the right thing.
I am sorry this is so long. I had a lot that needed to be said.
Feel free to contact me. I will respond right away.
Love and Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 7

How old are you what are the repercusions there? Maybe adoption. That might sound scary but you might be able to do that and choose the family and everything. Not to be a calise but people will pay you. Best answer though, ask your boys, they will be strongly effected no matter what you choose. Ask them...not the father what you should do. Partners come and go, your children-thats a diff. story.

Answer 8

Everything you have said points right to being a single mom again, You can't hold on to someone who doesn't want to be there, sure he'll take responsibility financially, but what about emotionally, you should know how hard it is to raise a child on your own. He sounds very immature. This is your decision to make and it will have to be soon,
I made mine a long time ago and don't regret it. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

If you're having trouble with the idea of abortion, but you feel you and your boyfriend aren't ready for children, then there is one other option. Consider adoption. I know many people won't think that's a good idea, but if I wasn't ready for a child, that would be the option I took.

Answer 10

It sounds like you bagged a loser..
He feels pressured and unstable? What about you?
Don't think about him right now.. what do -you- want? Can you do it alone if you have to?
And he has strong negative issues with your oldest son? Why are you with a guy who doesn't get along wth your children? That just seems wrong.

Answer 11

i think once you've had children you understand even the smallest stage of pregnancy is a gorgeous human being.
you have the bonus of past experiences of knowing what to expect and what it will take to bring this child into the world.
good luck.