Sadly Betrayed?

Question

My friend feels betrayed.?
I feel so bad. Her favorite teacher, the one person she looked up to betrayed her. He turned her into the counselor's office and stated that she likes him...a lot and that she stalks him. When she doesn't. She asks him if she can visit him after school for help in spanish and in life in general and he said it was ok. And all of asuden out of the blue he turns her in. So she's all deppresed now because she doesn't have a role model( he was like a father figure to her because her real father left her family when she was young.). How can I help out? I mean i've been supportive but it's to the point where i'm like STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM! I know that's bad but...I just don't want her stuck on this. I don't want her to stop becoming a teacher just because of him. She even considers him still her favorite teacher to this day. What can I do? Help.

Answer 1

Theres a lot of stuff going around about a teacher who was "sexually inappropriate" with their students. Of course most of them deny it, so its a he said/she said situation. Her teacher might have been worried about this and decided to end it before it began. He might have turned her in because if he hadnt she'd keep coming around, and people start talking, and even a completely innocent situation can be turned into a scandel by mis-informed gossipers. I think you should tell your friend that her teacher was probably just playing it safe. Even accusastion of misconduct with a student could sink his teaching career forever. If she's not convinced, have someone talk to him and ask him why he did this. Theres better ways to handle it then to turn her in. Maybe he really did think she has a crush on him. Someone needs to inform him that she doesnt, and that she just looks up to him as a good teacher and a father figure, and the way he handled the situation has completely crushed her. So in the future, if this ever happens again, he'll handle it with more sensitivity, and not jump to the conclusion that his needy student has a crush on him.

Answer 2

You are doing the best thing right now by listening to her. I know it is hard to hear her harp on about this feeling of betrayal, but stand by her.

Now, if she is going on and on, it sounds as if she is a bit obsessed with this man. That part sounds as if the teacher was right in putting a stop to it. If she was going just for lessons, that isn't a problem in itself. But talking about life in general may have made the teacher feel uncomfortable.

This is a world in which people get in trouble for inappropriate behavior all the time, and the teacher, right or wrong, may have felt that your friend had crossed that line and chose to stop it then.
If she was spending more time on the life in general conversation, I can understand how he feels. Were you at these sessions? Did you HEAR the conversations? Or did you hear it from your friend?
If she is stuck on it, then she may need more help than you can provide.

Answer 3

first off you can stop trying to make the teacher out to be unreasonable. If a man so much as says hi to a girl he can be accused of sexual misconduct these days. And whether that accusation makes it to the court systems or not his life is still ruined. She needs to respect his role in her life which is a teacher, not a counselor or after-school playmate.

If you really want to help her out, explain to her first off that he had to do what he had to do in order to protect himself from the femi-nazi movement that likes to depict all men as evil and abusive. After that tell her that the kind of help she is seeking could be sought in other people. She obviously is concerned about him specifially for a reason. If she wants to pout and cry in the face of reality then get yourself a violin and play her some music to cry to.

Answer 4

I think this teacher was probably just trying to save his career, it can be really difficult when a student makes an attachment which can be considered inappropriate. He's probably realised, or someone else has mentioned to him, that allowing her to go to his house is a dangerous thing to do. Nowadays, teachers and those in positions of trust have to be so careful.

Answer 5

You said it, stop talking about him. Life goes on. If her life revolves around one person then she has a major problem. many people grew up without parents and came up fine. She is the only one with the answer to this. from the way I see it, there is not a problem. move on, go after your goals and appreciate the people around you that actually care about you. be STRONG.
no one can help her, she is the one with the answer. best of luck

Answer 6

Maybe he was starting to feel attracted to her and that's why he turned her in?
Or maybe he saw something that was never there?
either way, the only thing you can do is be supportive.
If she talkes about him, make all the right sounds, and if she wants to cry, be a shoulder for her.
It may take a while, but she'll get over it

Answer 7

of direction i could be enormously harm, so i could in all possibility distance myself from them for a rapid time. After some days i could refer to them approximately what occurred, many times i will provide people a 2d possibility till it replaced into too severe. i could have a enormously stressful time forgiving a lover if he cheated on me even with the undeniable fact that. particularly if I have been married. which may be the ideal betrayal in my ideas. If he have been fairly sorry and found out his mistake then i could forgive and forget even with the undeniable fact that it may take me a protracted long term. If it have been a chum, we could in all possibility artwork it out. communique is soo significant and that i could certainly need to talk with them and hear their motives and POV.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like your friend is a bit infatuated with her teacher. Councelling might be good for her.