I believe that my wife left me 6 months ago because of a relationship with another guy (yes he is married, too). We drank alcohol after we both were off work and a lot of bones came out of the closet. we agrued with eachother and the next morning we reflected on the arguing and continued like this for months. At work this new friend of hers was not happy with his wife and always encouraged my wife and made her feel good about herself. she would come home at the end of the day and we would drink and the cycle would begin again. drinking agruing and we would get up go to work and her encourager was there to help her feel good about herself. I believe he slipped in to this situation because she was at her weakest and he was so caring and nice to her. this went on for two years. As of today she has been gone for 6 months and has her own apartment and guess who lives with her, he does, he is seperated from his wife. she and he drink drink together now, but he is nice. is he her enabler?
2006-12-07 22:36:30 · 14 answers · asked by james.ampmerch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think yes it is true, however, so were you. The two of you were getting drunk together, now he and she. You should work on getting yourself together and less time worrying about her. Keep her in your prayers and God will handle the rest. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-07 22:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, gravity
To know the truth is to find the lies first, I cannot tell you whether it is true or not, but what I can advise you to do is to balance sides, in other words: Ask yourself some questions like- What started her unusual behavior, were there signs before her departure, why would she be more attracted to her friend, and what makes you the least wanted.
Alcohol plays a very big role within relationships, and once alcohol has become the owner of your body, it meens that a person is dependant upon the use of alcohol, we do what we normally will not do under the influence, we know (at the moment) what we are doing, but we just don't care, and the after affects are increasing, when we are sober we realize what we have said and done, maybe not all of it, but some, and the things we do not remember remains within our subconscious, working on our nerves and behavior, but as soon as we sip another drop of alcohol, we feel better again and we just don't care again. Alcohol works in steps, one steps forward, two steps backwards, and it doubles with time, five steps forward and 11 steps backward, so, Alcohol is not a solution to anything, rather a destroyer of many lives and (Relationships). Your Wife left you under the influence, if not alcohol then maybe her friend who has driven her to become intoxicated, and so then she became weak (alcoholically or verbally) and a man (including you) are smooth talkers, when it comes to certain things in life. I take it you are married, in that case you should already have been at this friend of your wife's and you should softly, gently try to communicate with your wife. SHE IS YOUR WIFE! she obviously married you for a reason, I don't think she wants to be with this friend of hers, unless you have strong aggressive behavior towards your wife, now and in the past- this could then also be a reason why she left, and i believe the only reason, but I don't judge anybody. For every action there is a reaction.
Go Get Your Wife!!
she probably misses you more than you miss her. (I been there done that) âº
Good luck
Lubstein
2006-12-08 07:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you have to go through this and this kind of thing is never easy but it is time to pick yourself up off of the floor and forget about her. If that is all the two of you had for the past two years is coming home from work and drinking and arguing and then doing it all over again then it is best she is gone. Let her so called comforter take care of her now. I have no doubt that there is a great woman out there waiting for you. So lay off the drinking and clean your act up and get back out there. The sooner you move on the better off you will be. Trust me you do not want her back once a cheat always a cheat, they belong together. You know the old saying what goes around comes around she will get what she deserves as the grass is not always greener on the other side. How long do you think it will be before he gets sick of listening to her b.t..hing and complaining. You are the winner he remember that now clean up your act get your head on the right track and you will find a women who will be faithful to you and love you for being you. About the enabler part people look for people who will say things they want to hear and that is what she has found it is not real and it will not last forever. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-08 06:50:03 · answer #3 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find another bar hog, it wil make you feel much better.
Oh and also, add more drinks to your current regimen. This will help numb and dull the pain of you being a moron. Black outs are an added bonus.
2006-12-08 06:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by savingsibes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were her enabler and now he is. I hope that you have stopped the habitual drinking. Although, it is sad to lose your wife ; in this instance you are better off and should start proceedings to make it permanent.
2006-12-08 06:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about being an enabler but it sounds like they both have a drinking problem
2006-12-08 06:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow....do yourself a favor and get some help to stop your drinking...if he was good to her and made her feel good about herself that's why she left.....maybe he is enabling her or maybe he is helping her...you don't live with them so you really don't know....but one thing is certain, the only one that you can control or help is yourself...so go to AA or somewhere else and get your life in control...you will be happier and you will then be able to make a new life for yourself....good luck
2006-12-08 06:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if it's true or not but
it sure happens to a lot of people.
We need to feel loved, we need nice complements.
It boosts our ego and makes us feel wanted and loved.
If we're in a relationship where we do not feel wanted, needed or loved, we need to get out and find happiness.
2006-12-08 06:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by eviechatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares! Ur not with her anymore. Move on and find someone who doesn't drink as much. Or get her drunk and bring her home. lol... Good luck
2006-12-08 10:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by bbygirl529 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter anymore, now does it? You need to focus on getting over your addiction.
2006-12-08 06:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by Tom Foolery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋