My wife is very aggressive and dominating person i live with my old age parents and a child of 8 years?

Question

In India it is our culture that after retirement of mother in law, daughter in law take charge of the house and it's become her duty to look after children, home, parents and husbands daily need. We also look after her daily needs and provide clothing, jewellary and do not go anywhere without her but still she is unsatisfied She expect too many thing from life & love to take decision and want to implement on four of us. She is very dominating and we can not obay her orders we all loves her. Her mother father are pased away some times back, still she want to stay seperately from my parents with or without her child, i do not want to go anywhere and want to stay together She is housewife and want to become professional beautician, we suggest her to keep maid for the house and tution teacher for child but she resist for the same and also do not want to contribute out of her income. In short she want Seperation without Divorce our chemistry was never matched but still i love her

Answer 1

This is not only your problem many indian families are having same issue. Nowadays young girls are not at all interested in daily indoor routine job & want to do only their offical or proffesional job outside. My wife not only work but even looks after household cores as well allthough im helping her also. But my working daughter is not interested in any household cores & whenever we ask her to help us she simply refuse. She will be getting married soon & i know she will show the same attitude with her inlaws. Her would be husband is least bothered about her this attitude but her would be mother in law made it very clear that she has to do house hold work also for which she is now feeling depressed. I know this attitude with the young ladies nowadays is absolutely wrong & should be checked but what to do they dont listen. Now many of these young dames will come out here defending & saying whatever I or you say is wrong & even many bloody bitches of so called women welfare groups will come out protesting for these young ladies but they will never ask these ladies to give equal importance to their family & household cores as their own job & proffession. No one can throw out old parents after marriage & young wives who ask this never get mental peace of mind even if husband scum to their illogical demand. Love for wife is always their but no one can forget parents who gave birth to you. We all are much obliged to our parents who brought us in the world, gave us best of education ,helped us to achive better means of livelihood, but just for a wife we cannot leave them in old & ailling state of life. This will amount to real cruelty towards them, at the same time we can not dump our wivies so the only solution here is to make every one sit together & discuss the whole situation seriously & come to a compromise that is argreable to all. If no agreement is reached then its upto the husband to make a final decision.

Answer 2

was your wife always like this? or was she very docile in the beginning and has she now become more aggressive? if it is the former you have left it slightly late. you must clearly state your position right in the beginning and must not have allowed matters to escalate. still, better late than never. you put your foot down now and see that she falls in line [ but dont be unfair] on the other hand if she were nice and sweet earlier and later became aggressive all of you have caused it. however. she has a right to choose her hobby or profession-whatever. see that your parents DO NOT INTERFERE in decisions concerning your wife and child. Talk to her openly . see whether she is just confused . let her keep her income. but you dont meet any of her demands. tell her that you need a ''live and let live'' policy. if she is intelligent she would listen to reason. check whether she feels that she is just an unpaid servant and whether that is one of the reasons for her decision. if both of you keep feeling that one is too good for another then there is no meeting point. if you feel that she is testing you out give her a break-- let her go and stay for some time with some close relative whom she likes. absence may make the heart grow fonder But give it your best try--see if she can see reason.sky-high demands can be met with her own income. let her do whatever she wants with her money.you must be very clear about this. Do not invade her space and dont let your personal space be invaded.

Answer 3

If your wife wants to be financially independent there is nothing wrong with it. Some women can not adjust to live with in-laws whatever may the the causes. We are living in a modern society. Such problems are not uneventful. If you love her you have to carry on the way things are going otherwise you can seek divorce. But there is no guarantee that the girl you will marry again will like to stay with your parents and step children.

Answer 4

Hello,

I am sorry but your wife is too selfish and selfcentered. She is anyways not going to listen to anyone. If you love your parents than you stay with them. She wants seperation without divorce than let her go and live alone for sometime. She might come back to her sences.

Your parents and your child needs you. Take care of them.,

Good Luck & God Bless

Answer 5

contact me . i hv undergone these problems
u know u do single one thing ask her very politely what do u want in life and express ur whole feelings to her that u love her but u annot co operate at the same time her bad habbits and say this would be last.then see
rest u can leave message in my ID and i wud guide u looking to ur situations

Answer 6

You are too controlling. I know that this is probably the way that your culture is...BUT every other woman out there isn't being treated like a slave like your poor wife is being treated.

I think you need to give her the seperation that she wants...let her be her own person and stop controlling her every move!

Answer 7

you said it best---YOU're from INDIA---it's your culture and your problem---if you are living in the US----Your wife is showing independance by not wanting to settle for just being a housewife. She wants more for herself ---this is 2006 and working moms are in almost every home---I"M one and have to do it to help support my family and their needs.

You have other adults in your equation too---I don't know how your wife does it----and is expected to take total charge and care of them and the child too? The child should be in school and enjoying school friends and activities!

I don't blame her for wanting a seperation---IT"S you and your family that are aggressive and dominating!!! Think about it.

Answer 8

buddy think of your child first if she hysterical person take her to doctor do you screw her nicely yes or no thirdly if you give a woman little of more chance they will sit on your head or she got relatives call them and do counselling .with help of some relatives still things do not change divorce her

Answer 9

am sorry for the pain ur bearing...
let her free for some time... she will come back for your love...

GOD bless you

Answer 10

Sorry for your sadness.Pray to your God for an answer.