am desparate now! i cant live with im but when he leaves am a mess i dont no what to do help! i need to get rid of him but i cant
2006-12-07 21:47:25 · 11 answers · asked by purdy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my sweetheart, listen to yourself.....you do know what to do but as we know or we try to remember, what we should do and what is best for us is normally the hardest choice we have and its the choice that makes us feel at the moment that we surely will never be able to go on......you say "I can't live with but when he leaves I am a mess" - you being a mess will get better, there is no doubt that it will get better, maybe worse still before the better starts, but the pain you will be experiencing will be the process of healing and will make you stronger and wiser - the pain and anguish that you endure while he is there "I can't live with" - it never gets better, it just makes you sicker and sicker until you are unable to love anyone at all, especially yourself - make a decision to get better for you......it will possibly be the hardest journey you take, but the one that shows you what love really is. good luck to you, you will be in my thoughts...
2006-12-07 21:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by a_cervantez05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really need to get rid of him, you can. Yes, it hurts..........and you feel a mess because it is uncharted territory. Also, what people forget is that the end of a relationship, even a bad one, means that you have to expect to be unhappy and misreable for a while....it is called grieving. Yup, that doesn't just happen in cases of death........it has to happen in almost any sort of ending, be it a sudden loss or a planned one. But, you know......things do get better and although you may need to go through some pain/hurt, over time you may come to realise that it was the best thing you did for yourself. You may even find that you become a much stronger person because of it and, years later look back and wonder what took you so long.
As always with this sort of decision, it is one that, ultimately, only you can make.
Good luck.
2006-12-10 13:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid! if you cant live with or without him then this sounds like a very destructive relationship. WHY CANT YOU LIVE WITHOUT HIM? you need to take some time out on your own start going out with friends again in time you will gradually forget about this guy, be happy and wonder what you were ever doing with him in the first place. Get a new hairdo outfit and start ringing round all the girls you havent seen for ages the weekend is here and its nearly xmas what better excuse do you need to go out and have some fun!!!!!
2006-12-08 06:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by Leah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you made him your whole life and forgot how to live without him. I know it is scary but guess what it gets better without him. Your not alone there are tons of women out there in the same boat. Think of it this way do you like being treated like crap, do you deserve it. He has a control over you that he should not have but you allowed it now it is time to take control of your own life and get rid of him. When you get rid of him you are taking control of your own life again and that alone will make you feel so much better. Keep busy, spend time with friends, go to work, the more active you are the better off you will be. Don't listen to sad songs or songs that remind you of him and get rid of anything around the house that belongs to him or reminds you of him. Now that alone should keep you pretty busy. Remember there is a special guy out there for you and he will treat you like a queen, just hang in there and get rid of the loser. Trust me things will get better. Best of luck
2006-12-08 06:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hia, i have been in a similar situation to this one b4, the best thing you can d, which is what i did is to, stay with him and stick it out for aslong as you can, meanwhile go out have a good time and find sombody else so this way when you split with him, your other fella will completely take your mind of him and not being with him anymore wont be as hard because you have someone else to occupie you! good luck x
2006-12-08 06:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a drama queen you are---you can't live with him and can't live without him. Why don't you toss a quarter in the air and call heads and then change your mind when it hits the ground!!
You are co-dependant on this other person---that is what your problem is. You and only you will be able to break this vicious cycle!
2006-12-08 05:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... think clearly what you want and how u can avoid the messy feeling when he leaves, is it the thought of being alone/not finding anyone else that makes u feel like a mess?
2006-12-08 05:51:47 · answer #7 · answered by Naveen S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to find someone else immadiately as he leaves.
2006-12-08 05:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to say what you mean and mean what you say. good luck
2006-12-08 06:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you dont' know what you want...think deep down and really concentrate on what YOU want.
2006-12-08 05:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋