What would u do if your sister was having an affair with a married man ?

Question

My sis & I use to be real close. She's married to my husbands best friend. We did vacations, played cards, and spent all holidays together. She's been married 20 years.7 years ago she told me she was seeing someone. 20 years older then her. I told her to dump the guy. He's never gonna leave his wife. She wanted me to keep this secret from my husband. I actually got stomach problems. I did'nt like lying to my husband. I broke down one day and confided everything to my husband. He was devestated like me.We distance ourselves from both of them. One night sis's husband stopped in and wanted to know what was going on with my sister. We told him. He went home and confronted sis. She told him we were liars and he believed her. They cut us and my parents out of their lives. My sis continued her affair. 7 years no contact. Last week her lover dumped her. She is devestated. Do I stay out of it since it has been 7 years? Do I call her and try to talk to her?

Answer 1

I wouldn't. She is completely in the wrong and not you. The people who say "Mind your own business" are usually cheaters. It's pretty common now(that's why I'm never getting married). Just keep your distance and be 'okay'(I don't want to say nice) with her if she calls. And forgive her if she apologizes.

Answer 2

Oh boy this is a hard one !! Blood is thicker than water and l think if it was my sister l would probably want to cuddle her and let her know that everything will be ok. Yes she certainly did the wrong thing by cheating and then made things worse by lying about it and splitting up the family but we all make mistakes. I admit she made a real big one but l feel she really needs her family more than ever now. I am sure she now realizes that everyone only wanted what was best for her at the time. She did the wrong thing by cheating on her husband but if it was me l would have to let her know that l was there for her if she needed me. The family rift has lasted 7 yrs already, don't let it go on any longer. Be the bigger person and contact her. I wish you and your family lots of happiness and luck.

Answer 3

She is your sister, and even though the two of you don't see eye to eye on things you can still be supportive of her emotions without agreeing with her. Here is what I would do if it were me: I would pick a time of day when I knew she was not at home and I would call her and leave a message for her. Something along the lines of "Hey sis, I was thinking about you today and just wanted to call to say hi. Give me a call if you want." It lets her know you are open to her but yet it doesn't dredge up the old hurt feelings or her new hurt feelings.

Good Luck

Answer 4

I think you shud stay out of this. It will be in ur interest. If she ever contact you, nt ignore her but just try nt to get close. Let her handle this all alone. Sooner or later she will have to admit that somewhere she was wrong by cheating. Contacting her will add more troubles to both of u. Remember you are a liar in the eyes of her husband and he will never forgive u for that that's why they have distanced themselves for seven yrs. Let her handle her life.

Answer 5

Holy **** what a mess! I'm sorry this had to happen to you as you seem to be mostly blameless.

SHe's your sister though, and of course you should try to talk to her! NOthing worse than having family you don't talk to.

I got a step-daughter that has used and abused my family for years and years. Drug use, stealing, lying, dumped her kids on me. I don't talk to her, but only because I just end up yelling at her and upsetting my grandkids.

If I could find a way to calmly talk to the woman I would though. She's family and it's very uncomfortable for the both of us.

Answer 6

Lay down the law. If you aren't getting any from the sis in law, then you aren't babysitting so she can go out screwing others. Tell your wife you want a 3 some with sisters

Answer 7

If you had minded your business 7 years ago, none of this would have ever happened...not to mention, you'd have never known any of it. Stop placing your life's values upon other people and just make sure YOU abide by the rules you set. That's hard enough; noone has to believe in the same things you do in order to be your friend or loved one. Their company and love towards you should be enough! Learn to live and let live; if you don't like something someone else is doing, don't do it!!!

Answer 8

Don't listen to the pieces of shlt that say "mind your own business". Those are the people that are in relationships that WILL fail. You were totally right telling your sister's husband, he has EVERY right to know about his wife cheating on him. All the ******* who say "mind your own business, are just as sleazy as people who commit adultery. You were not wrong one bit.

Answer 9

she's your sister, you cant not contact her... no matter how mad she is at you. she might be feeling regretful at the moment, and she put you in a positin where you had to stoop to her level and lie to your husband. she should be the one feeling remorse. but dont approach her with that attitude (thats just my opinion)... Be there for her, and dont discuss the past, just let her know you love her and that creep is out of her life. so things will be easier between her and the husband. he deserves better and do know, but judging by the past experience... let it go, apologise and its her place at the end of the day to tell him. you cant weigh so much on yourself. all you have to be is a sister.... i pray it works out.

Answer 10

if she is adult then I have nothing to do. because love has no boundary. But after dumping definitely I should not ignore her.yes. of course! as we have blood relation May be. once she was wrong . that is past. she need my company now.