Let him go or work at it??

Question

I had been with my b/f for nearly 2 yrs when he broke up with me the other week. He says our lifestyles are too different, ie i smoke cigs and drink, this is easy to fix. However he is also planning to go to Japan in a year to work for a bit (1 yr ), so he says he is thinking logically we should break up, but his heart is telling him different, cos we are both miserable without each other and have been hanging out still.
We have the best relationship, and from what I can tell I think he's very confused about his decision and may be scared of getting hurt again and opening up properly, its also possible that he's scared of maybe getting too involved so as to screw up his career plans by not leaving me.
Should I make the effort and work at this (the only guy I haven fallen in love with, out of many) or just let him go? I'm just a scared that I maybe don't mean so much to him cos why would he have just got out over this? Long distance, differences.. it can all be worked out?

Answer 1

I think you know what to do. I think you should listen to your intuition. If you think it's worth saving, then you should try... at least then you won't wonder "What if?" for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

Renee, you can probably make any relationship work. The question is whether the price you pay to make it work is worth the benefits you get from the relationship.So ask yourself if the relationship were to continue exactly as it is right now, would you be happy? What would have to change...you or him or both? You probably can't change him. Are your required changes worth the effort required to maintain the relationship? Also, sound like he has some serious questions about continuing the relationship. Is he willing to put in major effort to maintain it? Ask him. Then have discussion together about what your mutual goals are, what your individual goals are and are they compatible. It just may not be worth the effort.

Answer 3

if you feel that your the ones for each other then by all means try and make it work. is there a possibility you could go to japan with him.

Answer 4

i don't think a long distance is going to change anything.. not being physically there with someone for a year shouldnt change anything if you truly love one another. don't let go of something you're going to regret.. if you love him, you can work it out.. but if you have doubts, maybe you don't actually love him all that much..