It has been two and three month since I got married. I’ve one son and now I’m5 month pregnant. Before we got married I and my husband were decided to change our unwanted behaviors. From those behaviors the first one is about stopping alcoholic drinking, but still he doesn’t want to stop it. We’ve discussed about it many times but after he says sorry, I get him in that place again.
I don’t want him to drink because I don’t have good attitude for drinks and I’ve told him many times but for the time being he say ok but he can’t stop it at all. Even I tried to talk with his family and his friends.
So what shall I do, I’m so tired, I want divorce and live alone. Please advice me, it really helps me very much.
2006-12-07 18:13:49 · 11 answers · asked by Melat S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What is your native language? I'm sure you know this, but drinking while you're pregnant can do terrible things to your baby. And if he has a drinking problem and won't get help you might want to think about a divorce. Maybe if you explained to his family that you are going to leave him if he doesn't change they will be more proactive about helping. You should also tell your husband about this. Good luck to you and your kids.
2006-12-07 18:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by scumboot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am speaking from years of experience here. Father - Alcoholic, First husband - abusive alcoholic. You will never make someone change. Ever. Don't fool yourself. The only way he will change is if it is important to him and he wants it for himself, as well as his family. Even then, it will be very, very hard. It will be a lifelong struggle and setbacks will happen. You better ask yourself right now, do you want yours and your children's life to be affected by what he will go through? Are you an alcoholic as well? Have you stopped? Are either of you getting any support? I hope for the best for you both and wish you the best of luck.
Please remember, the children you raise around an alcoholic will suffer from the disease whether or not they develop it. It will come as a result of the struggles and conflict they will go through as you and your husband struggle to overcome it.
2006-12-07 18:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by allissahottie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time for the person that isn't carrying a human life. He might be sorry, but he is soo used to drinking, he don't want to quit. It is stress reliever, like u don't need 1!! No fam etc.!! go to the phonebook and look up AA etc. or a shrink etc. Please do not leave yet, HE might still have a chance.
2006-12-07 18:22:02 · answer #3 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he hears you but hes just not taking you serious. Now its plan B, you need to leave, tell him that you are your son are leaving untill he proves to you that his family is more important than alcohol. And that he needs to get help and stop drinking. Tell him that you understand that it will be hard, but you want him to step up to the plate and take the challenge and that you will be there to support him, tell him that if he cant do it by himself than he needs to go get proffessional help and start from there. Tell him that you will be there by his side to help him through this, but if hes not going to make a effort and do this for you than you are staying away. Once he sees that you are serious than i am sure he will step up and chose his family over the addiction.
2006-12-07 18:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is haaard to live with someone else, and accept them the way they are. our addictions are basic to us, we need them so that life is tolerable. the only way to overcome one addiction is to replace it with another. can you think of something that would fill you or your husband with new inspiration? you can't just remove it, it is there for a reason! find the reason and see if you can substitute something in it's place.... like, ummm.... music, or talking, or exercise, or hiking, or whatever. above all.... do not blame and nag all the time.... this is NEVER effective. if you can't take it, get out of the relationship, after all it is your life. live it how you want to.
2006-12-07 18:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by yjovian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come back to the UK. Things change so don't think you will always feel this way. Keep applying for jobs and money will buy you more options. Keep your faith and keep moving forward. Things will become clearer in time, trying to work it all out will drive you mad.
2016-05-23 05:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know it's going to be hard to get someone to stop doing something that they are use to doing all of the time. it going to take time he can't just quit over night. give him a time table and let him know he has a month to stop or go to an AAA meeting if he don't want to go or stop move on. good luck
2006-12-07 18:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage does not solve existing pre-marriage problems rather it tends to amplifying them.
Seek professional help for your hubby. If that does not work, leave him. The real question you should ask is if that is a healthy environment for you baby to be raised?
2006-12-07 18:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by Gator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it still persists, divorce. Don't make your life sad and miserable because of this.If he does realized that he lost his presciousfamily, he would stop and try to come back to you.if not, live with your children and let him live with his drinks.
2006-12-07 18:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by LadyXSakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't think of divorce until u r very sure about it . be patient try to emotionally black mail him try to tell him that you love him and you don't want to lose him try it and I'll pray that you will succeed
2006-12-07 18:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by style beauty 1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋