OK so I know its long but I need advice.
Right so Im 17 and so is my bf. We have been going out for a year now. He is always nice to me and says he loves me, we go on a date every weekend. My mom wants me to get good grades and go to college, she says he is smart and should go too. So sometimes insted of going out we help eachother with homework.
Yea we fight sometiems u know but so does every1 else! And I really think i love him too. I havent told him that yet because Im not sure I know what love is I mean were only 17. But Im wondering if I should say it because I really want to sometimes and I think its true. But what if im wrong. I worry about hurting him.
But anyway the 2nd Q is more important. He wants to have sex I know because he asked how I felt about it. And I didnt know what to say. My mom hopes I will wait but she says she will take me to the doc for BC if I want. Should I get on BC even tho Im not totally sure? And what should I tell him while I decide?
2006-12-07 16:27:56 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well no I dont mean I want to right now. I want to know for sure if I love him or not first but I think I do. Does love matter to you? Is that something to consider? Or should I not worry about that right now. My friends say I will know when I am. I do feel better when hes here and we lean on eachother 4 everything is that kind of what love is?
2006-12-07 16:34:21 · update #1
No I will not let him 'talk me into' that he has only talked about it once anyway. And then he just asked what I thought he didnt try to convince me.
2006-12-07 16:37:59 · update #2
Yea if I did I would make him wear a condom too. Just in case. Sometimes people lie and u never know but I would want 2 be sure i was safe from stds and everything.
2006-12-07 16:46:36 · update #3
Lots of people start having sex younger than 17, so it wouldn't be abnormal.
Feel free to tell your boyfriend that you love him if you do.
Tell him you're not sure about the sex part yet. And get on birth control, because then you'll be protected if you DO decide soon.
Don't rely on anyone else to tell you whether you should or not. The people who say NO or the people who say YES. Only you can decide, because it's your life and your body. But if you're not sure, you can't take it back.
Good luck.
And BTW, it's great that he's not pressuring you.
2006-12-08 15:55:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fist of all if there is any talk at all about sex and you are not sure you should get on birth control. you never know whats going to happen, I may just come out of nowhere without even planning it. I should know. And you should really wait, you don't want to do anything you may regret. Im 18 and I have been with the same guy for 5 years we waited a year, and I don't regret it, cause I know he is the one. On the other hand I have a friend who went out with this guy for almost 3 years, they had sex about 9 months after they started going out, now they broke up and she regrets it so much.
While you decide you should just tell him that its a big step to take, and if he is willing to hold up to the responsibility that comes with sex. Just be like I don't want to rush into anything.
Just be sure. And get on Birth Control.
2006-12-07 16:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by maryli15 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this may sound harsh but here goes...i figure you wouldn't have posted if you didn't want honesty. ready? don't tell him you love him. teen boys tend to use that as a tool to get your pants off. keep that to yourself. as for the sex, if you have to ask then you aren't ready. if you have to post on yahoo to strangers, you are not ready. there is no rush, you will not drop dead and rot from not having sex. you are only 17 and have plenty of time.
another thing, don't get on BC, make him wear a condom. BC prevents getting pregnant well but won't stop crabs, or any VD he may have. i'm not saying he is cheating but this is a pre-caution for you. BC is a lot of hormones and you have to take the pill every day at the same time for something you aren't sure you want to do. you miss a day, you become -more- fertile. get some condoms, tell him he has to wait and keep the condoms on you just in case you have a weak moment and do it.
2006-12-07 16:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by spicey_1_2_know 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What I see is that you care about your b/f, so you want to do what he wants (what you think he wants), but that's not what you want right now. Everything else is just peripheral and depends on your decision.
The caring thing has to work both ways.
I think you have to talk to him about it. You have to explain how you feel, let him express his views too.
I'm male, I know what kind of frustrations he's probably going through -- poor b*st*rd :-) But his physical problems are nothing compared to what it would do to your relationship if you gave in and did something you didn't really want to do.
He would end up feeling like he'd committed a crime, you might hate yourself because it wasn't what you really wanted.
In the end it's your body, if he understands that then everything will be fine. If he doesn't then you have to ask yourself this: If he doesn't respect your decisions is he really that good?
But, from what you've said, I think he will be fine about it (despite the frustations), your feelings for each other sound genuine.
Talk to him.
2006-12-07 21:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by replybysteve 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a magical thing, it feels like you couldnt live without that person and you always think about him and in special romantic moments you feel as if your going to float away but sex is a completly different prospective sex is not only for love, its showing if you are ready for sex or not. When you start your first period, yes you are now ready for sex, physically not mentally and it may take time for you to find the right moments for you and your boyfriend and feel you are ready. Dont do it if your not sure because many people wish they'd waited
hope this helps
2006-12-07 19:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing: I think that the fact that you are not sure is your answer. If you don't feel ready for it, and I think that you don't, not yet anyway, then don't do it. Let the boyfriend go off and shag someone else if he really wants to have sex, you're not even sure if you love him anyway.
As regards birth control, your Mum is one smart lady.
I think that for one's first time having sex, it's much nicer if the other person has done it before and is comfortable with it, they will help make it a really nice experience.
If you are not sure, wait a bit longer. And don't let him pressure you.
2006-12-07 20:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad your considering it instead of just jumping in bed with him. Keep in mind that a pregnancy could spoil your future. I'm sure you've thought about using condoms, but even with birth control pills, NOTHING is 100% effective. You don't miss anything you've never had. My advice for you is to wait.......there is no hurry. Don't put yourself in a situation where you could compromise. I'm sure you won't....you seem much more smarter than that. Just take your time with your relationship, and love will grow. An old lady told me this a long time ago, and it sure makes sense: "Love can wait 5 years, lust can't wait 5 minutes". Anyway, I wish you the best of luck in the future.
2006-12-07 16:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you need to be on some kind of BC because if you do have sex and you get pregant then you can kiss your future of College and good jobs and so forth away. Only you will know when you are ready to have sex... But I have to tell you that it is very rare that you end up marrying your high school sweet heart.. so think long and hard about having sex... because once you have sex you will want to keep having sex...
2006-12-07 16:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its simple - when you are ready you will know and wont have to ask on her or ask your mates. When you want to overwhelmingly then the time is right.
Personally to me you dont sound ready. Saying your mom will take you to the doctor sounds like you think of yourself as a child. A young woman of 17 should take herself to the doctor and sort out her own BC after making an informed decision. Its nothing to do with your mom! Naturally she wants you to be safe, but tell her YOU will sort it when the time comes.
You should also be talking to your boyfriend and making it a joint decision and joint responsibiilty.
2006-12-07 18:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by Caroline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
M'Lyn, when the time is right you will BOTH know. It will happen spontaneously, without any prior planning and it will feel completly right.
B/C is a good idea and make sure he still wears a condom. But there is NO hurry, so don't feel pressurised. Kissing, cuddling, touching is all part of it too and so sex can be great even WITHOUT penetration.
Take your time and enjoy!
2006-12-07 18:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋