i am so unhappy?

Question

my husband is in rehab and i cant take it i am try to get him to be ABLE TO Ccome home is it wrong of me he is very unhappy there to

i am aslo seven month pregnant working full time with an eight year and i one you old who are taking it ever hard

i am sorry i know i am being really selfish

Answer 1

first i"d like to tell you i"ve been in your shoes, only it"s my son. he"s 31. i have found that i can"t change him he has to really want it himself . you hsve to help the children , this is such an emotionsl thing for them. they don"t need to be exsposed to such adult problems . and you must step away for now . let him know you love him and want the best but the children need you now more than ever . and they are childern and they deserve a normal and happy life. i know this sounds a little harsh but he had options the kids didn"t ask for these problems.

Answer 2

Hi, I'm so sorry for you and hubby but because hes in rehab he's there for a reason to get help and I know you both are unhappy and hurting but remember this when he gets out things will be different and better and he would gotten the help he needed and you and hubby will be back together I don't think its wrong of you wanting your hubby home but I would let him get the help he went in for so when he does come home you and him can become one again and pick up where you two left off with new beginnings and a world of love to share I hope I helped and I wish you the best of luck and lots of strengh to get though this and I wish the same for him also just hold on the wait wont be to long best wishes!!

Answer 3

He needs to finish his rehab program. Your whole family will suffer for it in the long run if he doesn't.

And don't be telling him all the time how much you and the kids need him, etc. It could ruin his chances of recovery because it would give him an excuse to leave the program before he's ready or resent being there so much (with added family guilt) that he won't be able to focus 100% on his recovery, which is what he needs to be doing right now.

I know this is a difficult period for you, but you gotta be able to take it. Toughen up. It's not forever.

Answer 4

I know that it is hard for you right now-but what is more important-what you are feeling or your husband getting better-remember the reason why he is in rehab-be supportive-when you go to see him smile even if you want to cry-tell him how good he doing and how good he looks-life is not easy-which is more important-him being at home and you worrying about where he is and what he is doing-sometime we have to give a little to help someone that we love-the children will understand-just sit the 8 yr old down and talk to her-children are smarter than we think-stop looking at the negative side and look at the positive side-God will work everything out for the best-encourage him,give him hope,and give him love

Answer 5

Your husband is trying to fix himself he needs all the help he can get. I know it is hard but it will be even harder if he gets out and starts on drugs again. You do not want your child to be in that kind of environment. Take it day by day and stay strong. He could come out of rehab a totally different man.

Answer 6

If he is in rehab. of course he is unhappy. He doesn't have his drugs or alcohol and he has to do what other people tell him to do. He has to go to group and talk about himself and listen to other peoples problems....If he is there, then he needs to stay there. I know, I'm a recovering addict who has been clean for five years.....You are probably lonely, and I'm sure you miss him, but this is for his better self....Try researching addiction on the Internet, look up 12 step programs and where they are, try to find an Al anon meeting for yourself, it will help you not to enable him to use again.....I'm not saying any of this is easy. It's not! Not for him and not for you, but unless you like the guy he was before he went in, then he needs to get better.......Spend your time getting rid of all the drugs, drug paraphernalia, and all the alcohol, this include presciption medications......Spend some needed time on a project you have neglected like maybe the house, sewing, baking, family, friends, movies, anything you like that makes you feel good...He will probably be there less than two weeks unless he's in a 30 day program which are hard to find...Keep your head up and be supportive when he calls, but be real with him...Always tell him you love him....Hope all goes well this first time. Some people have to do rehab. over and over and over again...........................Good Luck

Answer 7

well he should probably finish rehab and make sure that he is healthy. I know your unhappy but isn't his health the most important thing right now. if i were you i would try to be as supportive as possible. if you tell him your unhappy all the time then it just makes thing worse on him. let him finish his treatment it will be the best thing for both of you in the long run . Right?

Answer 8

It's not wrong to want your husband home, but think about why he is in rehab. He needs to take care of his business and get better for himself to be a better dad to your children. Remember, what ever it is that put him in rehab will only get worse if he doesn't take care of himself. Good luck, be patient and relax, he will be better when he is ahead of his ailment.

Answer 9

SWEETIE OF COURSE HE IS UNHAPPY. ITS NOT EASY TO LEAVE HOME AND GET HELP, BUT HE MUST REALLY HAVE WANTED THE HELP TO GO. GIVE IT SOMETIME. ITS HARD IN THE BEGINNING, BUT LATER YOU BOTH WILL BE SO HAPPY WHEN HE COMES OUT CLEAN AND READY TO START A BETTER AND HAPPIER LIFE WITH YOU. JUST BE THERE FOR HIM AND LET HIM KNOW YOU LOVE HIM. AT THE SAME TIME GO TO GROUP, IT CAN BE VERY HELPFUL FOR YOU TOO, IF YOU DONT MIND SHARING. YOU CAN COMPARE YOUR FEELINGS, AND YOU WILL SEE YOUR NOT ALONE. YOU WONT HELP HIM IF YOU GET HIM OUT. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK. IT TAKES ALOT OF COURAGE AND STRENGTH FOR BOTH OF YOU TO GO THROUGH THIS!

Answer 10

It is normal to be unhappy when your spouse is away, but being supportive of his efforts to get clean is very important. Don't make it harder for him by trying to get him to come home before he is ready.