Do you think it's possible that if someone grew up never experiencing security and unconditional love from anyone, that person would eventually find comfort in feeling insecure with those they love, and when someone tries to show them security and unconditional love later on in life (as an adult) it's almost impossible to except it?
2006-12-07 14:48:38 · 16 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Definitely! when you grow up not expecting anybody to love you... you learn to live with whatever you have...and make peace with it.I do believe that you would like to feel different, but when you get that love it's so foreign that you don't even recognize or just don't know what to do with it... You've already trained yourself..to some extent that you don't deserve it.. you're pretty much used to disappointment...and it's much to hard to accept anything else,,and be let down..if you live knowing that no one cares and don't put yourself out there at least you know what to expect..
But you'll never know if you don't walk out on a a limb .... It's better to have felt loved and be let down..than never felt it at all...and who knows it could be real....
2006-12-07 14:59:03 · answer #1 · answered by law-inspired 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My soon to be exhusband never had security and never had unconditional love as a child and for the last 9 years that is all I have showed this man. Now he can't accept it and we are getting a divorce now because he is a cheater and a liar. But he needs a psychologist because if they grow up with out it most do not know how to accept it or show it. You might want to rethink this one. I would have if I knew then what I know now. Good luck.
2006-12-07 23:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by loqueen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that what you are experiencing is natural. Any time we are deprived of something for so long, we are actually afraid when we receive it because we think it will be taken away. It is very normal to feel this way. However, as an adult, you have to know that in order to be happy :you have to let go some times. If you get hurt, you brush yourself off and try again. Try to trust people now and you will be much happier in the long run.
2006-12-07 22:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately we become comfortable with what we are used to as a child. We know it's wrong or abnormal, but that is what we are used to............saying that I believe it is possible to change if we want to change, and in this situation if there is someone who has the patience and love to stick with us while we change. Change takes time and reinforcement....How much time is different for everyone.....It can get pretty difficult so make sure you are in it for the long haul or you will just reinforce the thoughts that there is no unconditional love................
2006-12-07 22:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not impossible to accept unconditional love, but first, you need to learn to recognize it for what it is. Once you do that, you will eventually learn to accept it and give it in return. It really is the best.
2006-12-07 23:13:26 · answer #5 · answered by rtanys 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it could be near impossible for a few. Some will come out of it but some can't
when someone shows you love or help. You wonder what they want from you. and that stays with you forever. There may be a day here and there they let their guard down but it will come back.
2006-12-07 22:52:01 · answer #6 · answered by G L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As adults most people search for relationships which mimic those they formed in their earliest years.
My friend was rejected by his mother at an early age.
As an adult he is not comfortable with women showing him affection. He also prefers women to not seek his affection. Whenever his girlfriend tries to get close to him he rejects her.
This is probably because he most comfortable repeating the relationship with a woman that he experienced as a child - being rejected by his mother.
2006-12-07 22:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by Pastor Sauce 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that someone who grows up with insecurities have a very difficult time trusting, feeling secure or even accepting themselves. Unfortunately, people with that sort of disposition are usually preyed on by control freaks.
2006-12-07 22:52:06 · answer #8 · answered by spider 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife grew up like that and now she's very happy and in-love. It was a hard road, but it can happen!!! good luck to you!
2006-12-07 22:57:44 · answer #9 · answered by ginap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes ithink its possible
everyone still has feelings
that might never go away
but go for it i woul and if he rejected
i would just tell him how much i need
him
2006-12-07 22:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋