I hate this person i have become....?

Question

How can i change bkack to the old me but more confiednt. See i recntly lost 60 pounds, the best dress girl at skool and compete in beauty pagents. I used to be overweight, slouch over with a hump and had zits and has very low self esteem but i was really nice yet also a lil nerdy!! Now this new and impoved me is yeah i am so much more confident but with all these new changes i have become very vain and some people say mean even though i dont think i am. My question is how can i be the old me the nice and friendly girl but now also with confident. How can i stop being so vain??

Answer 1

Realize that the only change that occured is physical you're the same beautiful being you've always been......You are still getting used to this new body and that's normal ( i was a dork with glasses, and I got rid of them...came with a whole another life) Mentally you're trying to make up for all the lost time of fun you were suppose to have...and now you're just compacting a whole lot of it at once....once you catch your pace you'll be normal again... the whole vain thing can be partially true, people treted you bad you worked hard and changed and now you feel like the "fugly" ones don't have an excuse.... or maybe your friends are just a little jealous that you're beautiful and confident and they translate your confidence to be vanity... you be the judge!... Just be patient with your self, and remember that you weren't always a swan that might help you be a bit nicer...

Answer 2

Often, I find that humility is a developed skill in many people. I have found that there are several easy cures for this. First of all, I strongly recommend meditation. If you have a Zen center near you, try going and learning some meditation techniques. This doesn't mean you have to become Buddhist, but you will find it extremely helpful.

Secondly, if you believe that this is still a problem, perhaps you should enter into some activities which are not based on appearance to bring perspective to your life. Martial Arts or science clubs could easily expand your view toward areas where you are less confident. This will teach you a confidence without vanity, and will also help you to broaden your horizens and reach a greater potential.

If all else fails, try shaving your head for a while. It sounds, and is, a bit extreme, but if you are completely basing your confidence on physical appearance, the effects of this could teach almost instant humility, leaving you with what is more important. This will allow your confidence to be based in the nonphysical.

I would also recommend reading some books by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. His books will help you to realize some potential for yourself as a human being, without trying to make you a Buddhist. If you happen to become one, that's great too, but it's not an obligation to gain insight from his writings.

These techniques aren't for everyone, but they can be useful for learning true humility.

Answer 3

First of all, congrats on the weight loss! No matter what else has come out of it, you are a healthier person for it.

First of all, you have to stop and think about the people who are making the comments. Some of it may be out of jealousy, and has nothing to do with your personality. Try asking them what they find so objectionable about you. If there is a real reason, I'm sure they will be more than happy to tell you, even if it hurts to hear it.

You're already going in the right direction- you recognize that you want to change your bad traits that you've developed.
Start by talking to any old friends you may have left behind. The "nerds" you used to hang out with, but now ignore in favor of all the beautiful popular people who have accepted you as "one of them."
Smile when you talk to people, and be sincere.
When you think something bad about someone, keep it to yourself. Don't insult them behind their back.
When you hear gossip, don't pass it on.
When you pass a mirror, don't do anything more than a quick glance.
If you find yourself fixing your hair or makeup more than once a day, if you spend more than an hour on your hair, if it takes you more than 15 minutes to do your makeup- you are obsessing.
Once you break the habit of worrying so much about your looks, you will find that you won't be so vain, and you won't worry about it so much in others. And if you can do that, you will find that you can see the good in people again, so it's easier to be nice to them, instead of thinking about how cool or un-cool they are.
Try going out once in awhile in plain clothing. You'll find that you are still a beautiful girl even when you're not the best dressed. When you aren't being vain about your clothing, you won't be as picky about the clothing of others either.

In general, try to focus on other things besides the superficial. Clothing, hair, makeup, and beauty pagents don't make anyone a wonderful person. All of that has to come from the inside. A lack of outer beauty can be ignored when someone has inner beauty, but outer beauty can't desguise a lack of inner beauty.

Answer 4

Well stop being vain stop caring about how yo ulook and start caring in how you act instead no one likes the pretty girl they all pretend too!! Stop thinking that you all that cause you got new clothes hair and better skin trust me people still see the old you if you were ugly before even if you got a upgrade people will still see the ugly part of you. Therefore dont care what people say its not important go back to your old friends and forget about your looks! If thoose people didnt like you ugly then they never will!

Answer 5

Smile at everyone you pass.

Talk to everyone, dont just clump in a group with the "cooler" people.

Complement people on their outfits (shoes, necklace, shirt, etc) and then they will think you are nice.

DONT smile at them and then turn to your friends and laugh. (you may never mean to do it but people find out somehow)

PRAY ABOUT IT: I have found that people without GOD and JESUS feel like there is an emptiness inside of them. Like if they get the cutest clothes, wear a miniskirt, get a boyfriend/girlfriend, ect, then they wont feel an emptiness anymore. And once you get those things, you dont fell the emptiness (or you dont think you do) for a short amount of time. Then the emptiness comes back. Only having GOD and JESUS in your heart will make that emptiness be filled.

Answer 6

It's great you've found your self confidence, but changing the "wrapping paper" shouldn't change "the present inside". Try and recall how you felt BEFORE your changes and how you still tried to treat people with dignity and respect. If your beautiful on the outside now, but treat people badly, you're NOT really beautiful to anyone. Just try and treat people like you want to be treated.

Answer 7

why do no longer you prepare to your self you will get your act mutually? you're able to make solid possibilities? can end taking drugs and start up taking solid care of your physique? and could start up feeling extra beneficial? the 1st element i presumed when I study your question is why in the international are you doing drugs like pot which do the real opposite of your antidepessants? i'm on a similar stuff, doing a similar scientific preserve melancholy and tension ailment and that i'm enormously confident if i began smoking pot i could lose my ideas and which may be the top. it somewhat isn't any ask your self you're feeling suicidal! additionally alcohol is a depressant, maximum individuals are high quality mutually as they drink, yet 6 hours when you end eating the depressing consequences of alcohol kick in. ever notice after a huge nighttime eating you sense like crap? properly it somewhat is why. you're able to think of it somewhat is cos some thing undesirable occurred or you're drained even with the undeniable fact that it somewhat is somewhat the way alcohol makes you sense in a while. subsequently why it somewhat is noted as a drug. i comprehend it somewhat is stressful for you and that many times it somewhat is less complicated to do undesirable stuff and merely attempt and forget approximately your problems yet you're 15, now's the time so you might exchange. you're nevertheless youthful, you could turn your existence around and make issues get extra beneficial. end eating alcohol till you have your existence lower back below administration and are no extra depressed end smoking pot and doing the different drugs end putting around people who make you sense undesirable or who're drama queens end making undesirable possibilities like napping with men who're risky start up focusing on your CBT and the ideas your psychologist aspects start up exercising for a million hour in line with day, it releases the hormones that make you sense solid. start up ingesting culmination and vegetables on a daily basis, a solid eating recurring will make you sense extra beneficial. prepare to your self which you would be able to stay extra beneficial, you're able to be happier and each little thing will start to fall into place. it wont take place over nighttime yet by employing the top of a million month you will see a huge distinction. solid success!

Answer 8

Take your eyes off of YOU and start seeing others around you.

Answer 9

maybe its b/c you are keeping up with your appearance so you have to constantly check yourself out. just do that less and start treating people better.

Answer 10

How about this."Treat other's as you want to be treated". congrats loosing 60bls..