My husband is disrespectful and we just don't see eye to eye. We argue alot & have been married 20 years. Were total opposites. Problem is my daughter is very sick I can't immediately leave but want to when she is better. She is Recovering from bone marrow transplant. Husband is the money maker & I cant support my 2 kids. I am trapped. Most of the time I've stayed home to take care of my children. I have a job making $10./hr part time overnight.I'm on leave from it to take care of my daughter who is sick now. What kind of agency or place or shelter would help me? I dont feel loved and now have very little self esteem. I'm not physically abused but sometimes I feel mentally abused just from the snotty answers and hot and cold treatment I feel. I am so sad between my daughter being sick and my husband. He doesnt think he does anything wrong. He can be so nice when he wants. He says I'm the snot. He treats strangers better than me.TV & newspapers are his love. I feel so alone. Help me.
2006-12-07 13:20:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Please seek counseling before ending it. You married him for a reason, try to stay married for that reason. At the end of the day, you have to know that you have done everything humanly possible to save it!
2006-12-07 13:22:39 · answer #1 · answered by Alicia P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found this after answering your other question about Yahoo. (By the way--you don't accept IM either, so I don't think you could IM anyone else!) You don't say if your husband has always been like this, & that's very relevant. You're all going through stress, & often--instead of this "bringing you closer" some people get scrappy & seem to have no sensitivity; the only way they know how to cope. 20 years is a very long time--so I doubt he's always been like this? I would trruly give a great deal of thought to separating at this time. This could be very traumatic for your daughter, who is certainly dealing with enough as it is. Perhaps, if your husband's attitude doesn't change, & your daughter is better--down the road--don't forget you can get child support, & definitely alimony after so many years! Just to be prepared, if I were you, I'd look into resources available in your County, &/or community (if your husband's income isn't sufficient to support you) regarding your inability to work because of taking care of your daughter. I wouldn't advise doing anything "drastic" RIGHT NOW, but you'd feel much more secure if you knew your options when/if you do leave. Best of luck...
2006-12-07 18:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I want to help. As others have said, if your daughter almost died, both you and your husband are going to be seriously stressed. This is not the time to be making decisions about leaving.
If you've been married for 20 years there must have been a time when things were okay. You have to decide whether you would prefer to save your marriage or whether you've decided there's no hope.
The only thing that will destroy a relationship is secrets about things done wrong, real or imagined.
It wouldn't surprise me if your husband thinks it's somehow his fault that your daughter got ill. Wouldn't surprise me if you felt that as well, even just a bit.
But it could be anything else, maybe he feels guilty for flirting with a girl at the office. There's no limit to the possibilities -- and they aren't necessarily that serious, they can just build up over time.
My wife and I have been married for 22 years, we've always been completely honest, even about silly little things.
In some circumstances I would suggest you try to deal with it yourself, but I think it may have gone too far for that.
If you want advice on how to continue with the intention of getting your marriage back e-mail me. Otherwise, good luck.
2006-12-10 02:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by replybysteve 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't know if it's the best time to leave your husband when you and your daughter are dealing with her being so ill. She needs family support right now, not to deal with her parents deciding to split up at such a bad point in her life. Have you tried marital counseling? Both you and your husband are under a lot of stress dealing with a child who is sick enough to need a bone marrow transplant (leukemia?). You could probably both benefit from therapy. Your family needs to support each other, not fall apart during this very hard time. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-07 13:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by calebskitten 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woah, careful your in a traumatic period, a sick child takes all concentration.... try 'relate' for counselling... it works on donations, whatever you can afford at the sessions... if not, if you feel that really is your only option then get the phone number for your local refuges. dont tell him your leaving him.... explain to him. It may be he has been thinking similarly and you could both work something out to keep it amicable for your daughters sake. my mother was put out on the street with 3 kids all under 6, she has done brilliantly but it is hard when you're alone... before leaving go to local authorities and get your benefits sorted... i take it the kids are both at school? look for part time work during school hours to help out... and keep your friends close, they'll stop you going insane. You will get there eventually, we all do because we have to as parents (i have a 2 &half year old girl)
2006-12-07 13:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by ffaddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter has a long road to recovery, while you have to do what is right for you, you need to consider that you will not be around to help take care of her. See if your husband and you can go for counseling. It sounds like the family is under a lot of stress and this may help.
2006-12-07 13:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you extreme! purely because of the fact she wasn't your daughter and your over it does not mean he ought to be. That became into his flesh and blood whether he shared it along with his ex spouse. He loves his daughter! in case you could't be supportive and affected person including your husband in this time than you do not deserve him. I actual can't understand how chilly hearted you're being. i'm hoping he is going back to her grave a week for as long as he lives! it ought to not carry her back whether that is a demonstration of admire and love for his daughter. even once you're a troll and the full question is faux. you're making me unwell!
2016-10-17 23:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you make the move & leave him your confidence & self esteem will gradually return.Hope your daughter has a speedy
recovery & Good Luck in the future.For a house if you live in England try your local council & citizens advice.Theres also private rented some except dhss.
2006-12-11 03:17:12 · answer #8 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has to know how u feel about the way hes acting. also tell him that he has to clean up his act, he cant put other things infront of ur relationship. ue together for wat 20 yrs and he sounds like he doesnt even care about u anymore. tell him the truth and that you aren't sure why he's actinthis way. and that you wanna know wat going on with him. tell him that if he's willing to work it out then so are you. he has to know that he isnt the only one in the relationship. you have 2 kids and u shouldn't be raising them all alone. u need his help. it also sounds like he's trying to give up on the relationship and that just sux. make him understand that ur relationship ismore important than the tv or the paper. help him understand and get help from your family-ask for their support.
2006-12-07 13:24:29 · answer #9 · answered by Ta Ta 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling with your husband. You are both going through a rough time.
2006-12-07 13:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋