I have a friend that has the worst hoarding problem I've ever seen in my life. I thought this woman on the Oprah show once was bad but my friend has it worse. She never let me inside until tonight.
It's bad. I don't understand how a person can get THAT BAD. Is there something I can do to help her? I told her that I would come by this weekend to help her.It's going to take days. I just don't understand how she can't "throw things out." She has 40 pizza boxes on the kitchen table. Every room, you can't see the floor. She has empty pop cans everywhere. This an apartment that could be beautiful if she just cleaned up. This is beyond my comprehension. I really want to help her. I need a HUGE dumpster. She agreed to let me help. I've known her for years & she never let me inside. I think she confided in me because she's overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. Truth is, I don't either... It's bad, give me advice PLEASE....
2006-12-07 13:14:59 · 8 answers · asked by Ida 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
its great that she is going to let you help her, there is a difference in hoarding,, and just being messy/dirty,,,, hoarding implies that you will have a future use for things, or that you like things, as in books or hoarding empty washed out pop cans in bags to recycle later,,,,,,,,,perhaps she has just gotten overwhelmed after maybe going threw a time of depression,,,,,,,you are great to be willing to help her,, start slow, with part of a room,,,, so that you wont end up getting burned out/overwhelmed,,,, hopefully with your help, she can start making tiny steps herself,,,,,,and as she see's one little area better, she will want the rest like that
not sure what caused her problem, but i think alot who end up getting like this,,,,,were raised or took on the habit of letting things get in a huge mess, then cleaning it all up,,,, letting it get horrible again, etc etc,,,,, she just finally did the first phase to long,and then perhaps didnt know where/how to begin,,,,,
2006-12-07 13:22:13 · answer #1 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds more like a clutter problem.
There are lots of shows on TV that deal with that: "Neat," "Clean This House,"
There was another one that was the best of them all, but I don't remember the name. There were four helpers: an organizer, designer, a carpenter, the hostess.
The organizer set up three huge areas in the yard:
1. KEEP - see below
2. SELL OR DONATE-Take it to your local charity or have a garage sale.
3. TOSS - for broken items or garbage - put into garbage bags & take to dump.
Everything was moved out of the worst room into the yard. Then the homeowners given only 30 minutes to separate everything into the above three areas.
Then the organizer (you can be the organizer) worked with the homeowner and encouraged them to purge the items they had placed in the 'keep' section. They told the homeowner to cut the volume down to one-third of the original amount. Had them justify why they had to keep each item. It was very touching to see this.
In the meantime, the designer re-organized the room, painting it and the carpenter would build suitable furniture to organize.
I know you don't have the professional helpers, but the 'sort ' procedures, plus the 'toss' procedures would help put some semblance of order into her home.
She definitely needs professional help to be able to let go of things.
You're a good friend to her. Good for you & good for her for being willing to open her home and wanting to improve her surroundings.
Good luck
2006-12-07 15:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is sad, but more common than we would think. In our County, it's a safety hazard to have all that stuff piled up all over in the house. If the County finds out about it, the County has authority to have the house condemned and cleaned and the person living there to get a psych exam. This is because there was a rash of people perishing because the fire fighters couldn't find them in the fire when the house caught fire. Check with the health department and see what they recommend. It's not something people can give up on there own. Even if the place gets cleaned up, they start the collecting again. I think it gives the individual security.
2006-12-07 13:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think pizza boxes and pop cans amount to hoarding. Sounds like she just doesn't clean up. I knew someone who started keeping everything after his divorce. Every newspaper, piece of mail, movie stub etc. but not packaging. He was diagnosed with severe separation angsiety. To help your friend you need to determine what caused this behaviour. (Sorry I can't remember how to spell angsiety :-)
2006-12-07 13:22:35 · answer #4 · answered by nvr10pts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People with hoarding problems have physiological issues. The first thing she needs to do is to see a doctor.
2006-12-07 13:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i used to be a hoarder with all the notes passed to me from friends from middle school i'm now 30 and finally through away my diarys and sentimental stuff that i had to keep lugging around o=all those years. i hope theres hope for her
2006-12-07 13:18:03 · answer #6 · answered by crystal p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes, isn't this a mental issue? like alchoholism, gambling...don't you have to get to the root of the problem
http://understanding_ocd.tripod.com/hoarding.html
2006-12-07 13:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Freakgirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does that last word in the question mean?
2006-12-07 13:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by Charmagne 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋