has a chance to move in with my family ( where there is room for us untill get some things straightened out) but due to things from the past here. my mom is willing to give her another chance but x is unsure. even though her job and friends are around here she doesn't want to get closer.can't get a new place until around march. i want to start on working things out before i invest in another life with her and get a place with her . she is the 1 who wanted to get back together and i said ok with much hesitation. but the only way she will move back with me is if i find a place for us to live and not with my family
2006-12-07 12:57:48 · 11 answers · asked by tazzy1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I can certainly understand her conditions. Your family is going to place her under a great deal of scrutiny and that's tough to live with on a daily basis, not to mention it's sure to make any reconciliation more difficult. I'd say that patience is a virtue in this case. You need to make her understand that you need to get some peace of mind, as well as the scratch for new digs, regarding the dynamic between the two of you before progressing further. Whatever the issues between the two of you are, it's most helpful to step into each other's shoes for a while to look at the other's perspective. You'll both gain understanding and subsequently, respect, that may not have been there before. If you both can accomplish that, then finding patience shouldn't be such an obstacle.
2006-12-07 13:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you feel is right and if you are willing to give this relationship another chance you have to be the person to call it not your family. If you still feel really hesitant about the whole thing and you don't want to move back into it too quickly by getting a place to together then don't do it!! I reckon you should maybe try and sort things out without living together because that way you both have your own space to think about things and to realise if you were both meant to be together!!
2006-12-07 13:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by pqr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she avoid your family? It seems she is seeking independence so that she can do whatever she likes. I get the impression that she is being vengeful towards your family and wants to dissociate you from them. Your alienation with your mom and others will disquieten you and in this state you cannot give her the love you would ordinarily do. Your performance will be less than optimal and she will tease you on that score.This will leave you cold when you need to be otherwise.In such cases it is difficult to foresee the impending fissure that will be caused. If you can afford to forget her and look for new chapter of life, it would be in the interest of both of you.
2006-12-07 13:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Ishan26 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she were truly interested in trying to make things work, she would be wiling to do whatever it takes. Tell her to go and rent the apartment then. However, I would leave her alone and keep going forward with my life. Sounds as though she is the one that screwed up, and now since it did not work out the way she thought she wants you back. They are X's for a reason. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-07 13:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know of you all's problems before hand--but exes are exes for reasons. Yes, people can change...but if you have this much hesitation, I wouldn't invest anything but time (i.e.--don't set up a new place to live) until you are sure you want to be with her.
2006-12-07 13:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by behind_blue_eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tazzy...Tazzy...? and why were you getting divorced?..lol..First of all I would sit down with a pen and paper and write down the pro's and con's about your marriage. if you have more cons than pro's then I would definitely re-think on this moving back in together. Secondly...why get a divorce if the both of you are moving back in together? That doesn't make much sence. Have you been to court yet? reconciliation is one thing but is it really sincere? Ask yourself before committing to anything...
2006-12-07 13:08:16 · answer #6 · answered by shuggabhugga05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. If you feel sick to your stomach when she is not
around, and feel like you can't live without her. Move forward. If you don't really miss her when she's away, don't do it. That's usually how you can tell. But, also ask yourself if you would want a second chance.
2006-12-07 13:20:03 · answer #7 · answered by Lab 7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no no.. ex's are ex's for reasons! if it didn't work once what makes you think that it's gonna be any better the second time around? be weary about women that make up contingency to relationship they generally want more than they say!
2006-12-07 13:01:49 · answer #8 · answered by Lillian S. Phx Arizona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is playing you dude. Run and run like hell. You first instict is always right and I do believe you said you hesitated, right!!? Leave her and her demands and good luck with your new life away from her.
2006-12-07 13:04:00 · answer #9 · answered by Elizabeth C. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so...in your heart of hearts, what do you feel is the right thing to do? What do you really want? Think long and hard and make the right decision for you.....good luck
2006-12-07 13:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋