Today my husband was told by his oncologist that he has about 4 months to live. He has Cancer that has spread. My daughter and I would like to help make the remaining few months as joyous as we possibly can...and I pray that it's possible.
Do you have any ideas or suggestions for things to do together that would possibly be a diversion from being sad, something that would possibly bring a little joy to him considering the circumstances?
We just want to make the time he has left count, and have some meaning. We are all very close, and we do talk about it.
Thanks sincerely for any thoughts and ideas you may suggest...
I guess what I'm actually asking, is if it was someone you were close to, how would you spend time with them?
Thanks again...
2006-12-07 12:52:17 · 26 answers · asked by JoJoCieCie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you so much, everyone for your sympathy and for your thoughtful suggestions. I am taking the advice of everyone who answered, and I cannot choose a best answer, as I appreciate each one.
Thanks for taking the time to come up with great suggestions.
I will let the voters decide who to pick...and I'll make a list of each idea you all had...and will use them.
Giod Bless you all...JoJoCieCie
2006-12-08 01:02:34 · update #1
go somewhere you've always wanted to go but didn't think that you could afford to, you know like the song by Tim McGraw, live like you where dying
2006-12-07 12:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you at this very difficult time. Yes l agree with the others. Just do whatever makes you all the happiest family you can be at the moment. Make plenty of video's that your children and eventually grandchildren will be able to look back on with love and sweet memories. If it was me that's what l would do. Show him all the love you can and he will take that love with him to give him comfort when the time comes. I am not a religious person so l will not pray for you but l will send you my love and support. Best wishes to you and your family
2006-12-07 21:21:40 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh sorry to hear that dear.
the oncologist says that he has about 4 months to live....but hay, that is just estimation & based on his experienced only. he is not GOD. if i were in your shoes, i will not think the day he will go & leave me. i will think about now, and the most important thing is, i will pray what is the best for him. cancer is a serious diesease that when at the serious stage, very hard to cure. i have uncle who had colon disease. he was at the serious stage. doctors said chances to cure is very low. but the whole family never gives up. they went to all the best doctors & most importantly all of us are praying the best for him. especially his wife i believe. its been a year. believe it or not, the latest check up, doctors said he is fine now ( after spending whole lot of money) and not forgetting the prayers from his wife, familiy...& all of us.he is absolutely fine now. its a miracle. i believe GOD can change everything if we ask from him. no matter what religion u r, we all have our own beliefs. so stick with it. believe it. do not think about the 4 months will come.... think about that he will b fine. he needs positive support especially from the immediate family. be strong.
i hope for the best for him & ur family....
regards
2006-12-07 21:15:17 · answer #3 · answered by askmeanswerme 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've had a few family members and people I've known succumb to the same thing.
I want to try and give you a positive spin on things. The doctors can tell you how many months to live. Only God truly knows. Pray, and pray harder. Keep the treatments going, and have him exercise. I'm not God, and I can't tell you any different from what you've been hearing, but I know he's willing to fight, and it sounds to me that you are a wonderful wife to him, and a teammate. He is blessed to have you. Good luck to you.
2006-12-08 13:53:31 · answer #4 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to each other, tell your daughter stories together of how you met, and other things. Take him somewhere he'd love to go. Laugh together a lot, make each other feel so wonderful, that time will go by slowly, don't worry about what will happen, just enjoy the time you have together, and God will be there through it all.. God Bless your family. My prayers go out to you. Take lots of pictures, candid, just of whatever, can he ride horses?? Take him to do that. Do whatever he wants, but also make sure you cuddle with him every night and spend hours just wrapped in each other, too.
2006-12-07 20:59:25 · answer #5 · answered by mason 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.
Try to go somewhere he has always wanted to go.
Visit places that are special to your family already.
Have a family portrait made. Record as much of your family as you can on film and photo.
Have your husband make recordings or letters for you and your daughter to open on special days in your life (anniversaries, wedding, birthdays, etc.)
Make sure you and your daughter are able to spend as much time as possible with him, and say all of the things you want him to know.
Focus on celebrating the wonderful man that he is, and that will help bring joy to the time you have.
All my best to you and your family.
2006-12-07 21:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie i am so sorry for you and i will pray for you. i dont know where you live or if you can but my husband and i are going through some very rough times and the other day he took me and the kids out to the lake in the national forest and we brough wood and simply made chili dogs that we stirred with a stick and we made smores and roasted our marsh mallows with sticks that we went and looked for ourselves and we sat in the warm sun and let our kids throw rocks in the river and made them a seesaw with a fallen branch over another branch and we hiked a little and threw snowballs at one another. this cost a grand total of about maybe $20 it was one of the most memorable days that we have ever had in our six years... it was just the four of us all day in the forest and we were together in the sunshine and it meant so much to me. i dont know if that is something that you would like to do but there is something about being in the forest that is sooo nice and you feel so close to god. i hope this is a good idea it worked for me. good luck to you and your family.
2006-12-07 21:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by ~annie~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off let me say how sorry I am. What an awful thing to happen! But as for your question....I had a good friend who's dad died of stomach cancer when we were in 8th grade. It was about 5 months of total agony for him but he managed to hold on til after Christmas. I know in his case they really couldn't go do much because he was in so much pain but when he was first diagnosed they went on a trip together (all of her siblings and their spouses etc went too) then when he got confined to home or the hospital they'd sit around just talking and looking at photo albums and remembering the good times. They'd do normal stuff like watch movies, play games, etc because he really didn't have a lot of energy and was on a lot of pain medicine. It doens't sound like they did anything spectacular but I know that just them spending time together as an entire family has helped all of them bond more and helped them through his death.
Good luck to you guys!
2006-12-07 21:01:32 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I agree with the other posters, do things together that he wants to do, things that he's always wanted to do but never had the chance.
Make a video library, get him on tape as much as possible. Celebrate all the holidays at one time, do it all.
I hope that you find comfort and peace during this time.
2006-12-07 20:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get as much of our life on tape. Tape the casual things you do, talking to each other, dinner. I know it sounds silly, but there will come a time when watching those will give you comfort. Enjoy the moments with him. Don't try to do big things. Just have fun.
2006-12-07 21:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by Amy R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am terribly sorry for your terrible news, but to answer your question, do any, and every thing you always wanted to do in this life, with your husband! Lie alone and talk, take walks together, hold hands, travel if you want to.....in short , do everything that you want to do with him in the few days you have left, that when he's gone , you'll look back and say..."I wish we had.........."! Best to you , and your husband!
2006-12-07 21:02:52 · answer #11 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋