Why does my X-Wife make my two boys (9 and 5) call her new husand Dad? How should I handle this? What can I do?
2006-12-07 12:20:46 · 8 answers · asked by riverphish 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why does she make your sons call her new husband dad...to push your buttons. She knows this is hurtful.
Have you asked your boys why they call him did? Or ask them how they feel about this?
You can handle it with your boys and tell them in a nice way that being he is not your father he doesn't really deserve the title of dad.
You can take it up with the ex. And ask her why. Tell her the reasons why the boys shouldn't be call her new husband dad.
Or you and the boys take it up with your ex.
I don't think this is right. My step son has always called me by my first name. It's pretty funny, even when he writes assignments for school....it's my first name. I wouldn't have it anyother way. I am not his mother, I didn't earn that title by giving birth. I don't want the ex to think that i am moving in on her tuff, by having her son call me mom.
2006-12-07 12:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by lolasmom19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its wrong!! Your kids have One Father and One Mother. If she feels they need to call him something special other then his first name, then they can come up with some other special name, but its not to be dad. That name is reserved for there father YOU! I hate when I see this, So what happens if her and this guy doesn't work out, and she is on to the next guy, will that be daddy also? No one wants to think that far in the future.. Sigh.. I feel for you.. Time to have a sit down with Mom and the Step Dad and the kids and have the kids tell how they feel about it all in front of everything. It may be a huge eye opener!
2006-12-07 12:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by Issym 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats very tricky. Your sons are only young, and it is wrong of your wife to force them to call him "Dad". You are their Dad, and I think it is pretty disrespectful to you. She should have discussed this with you. Whatever problems you may have had with your wife and vice-versa should not be affecting the kids at all. They should be having a wonderful relationship with both of you. You need to confront her about it and tell her in no uncertain terms that you are their father, not this man, and you have just as much say in their upbringing as she has. Alternatively, you can approach her new husband in a nice way and just discuss it with him. Maybe he feels uncomfortable about your kids calling him Dad, but maybe he thinks youre OK with it. If he knew you were not OK with it, then maybe he could tell your wife he would prefer it if your kids called him something else....he could be pa, or Jim, or whatever his first name is. Maybe you would have more luck if you discussed this with him as opposed to discussing it with your wife. That would be so hard for your kids because they are so young....they would be hurt enough that you and mummy dont live together any more, and now your ex is distancing you even more from them by making them call the other guy Dad. She is hurting your boys by forcing them to do this....maybe she doesnt realise the impact is is having on them. Talk to both of them together if need be, but do something to protect your relationship with your boys.
I wish you all the best.
2006-12-07 12:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh...that's just wrong that she "makes" them do that. I am a step parent and I made it clear that the kids can call me whatever they are comfortable with.
How to handle it? Ask the kids how they feel about it and take your direction from there. If they don't mind, then you shouldn't mind. If they have an issue with it, address it with your ex.
2006-12-07 12:28:55 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never do that to my kids! Your kids should only be calling the man that helped make them their Dad! She is definitely wrong! You need to set her straight! And...tell your boys not to call him Daddy...because you are their Dad!
2006-12-07 12:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can do like we did in my family. My step sisters called my mother "Momma Toni" and they called their step father "Daddy Bob". That kept everyone straight...until I started calling their step dad "Daddy Bob" because my parents were still married...LOL
2006-12-07 15:04:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the **** hit the fan. Let it be known your kids have one father and you're it.
2006-12-07 12:29:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
check your divorce papers mine state that is not to be done. I would push it as far as I could. Does she make them make them or do they tell you that becasue they don't want to hurt your feelings?
2006-12-07 12:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Just curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋