fiance not happy about baby?

Question

Im 6 months pregnant with my fiance's baby. at first he wanted me to get "rid" of it and i refused, i couldnt do that to MY innocent baby. i told him he had the choice to stay with me or leave me (i cannot make any man raise a child they dont want to) he chose to stay. sometimes im afraid he will blame this child for "Screwing" up his life. also im scared that he may feel like he is stuck raising this child. hes not happy (even tho he says he is) i dont believe him. it took him forever and a day to tell ANYONE about it, when we go shopping for the baby, he seems more interested in the flies on the wall and to make matters worse, when the baby moves i have to force him to feel him move. its like hes obligated to be happy,even tho hes not. i dont know what to do, i ve brought it up with him and he swears its just me and he really is happy. i feel bad and its actually making me change the way i feel about him. i dont know what to do =( any advice ??

i already have a daughter and he said he wanted kids, so its not like we never talked about it.

we actually tried the month before and when it came back negative, we decided to wait until at least a year after we were married.

Answer 1

If it's changing the way you feel about him, then maybe that's what you should say to him.

Becoming a father is different than becoming a mother. As a mother, you can feel the baby move in your body, and you love every little movement. But the dads are a little more separated from the process so they tend to be a little... less excited isn't the word, but they just aren't as "into it" as we can be. It's different when it's actually inside you, ya know?

Talk to him about it again. It won't seem really real to him, however, until he holds that baby in his arms for the first time. When the reality kicks in, he might be the best most pro-active father for your child that you ever could have wished for. But talking will ease your concerns, and it might help him see exactly why he's making you feel the way he is.

Answer 2

Wow. This is a tough one. I'm sure some of the things he is doing is perfectly normal. Even when "the man" IS happy about having a baby, he can still be "more interested in the flies on the wall." This is a shock to him. Obviously, you weren't "trying" to get pregnant. Some of the "extra" emotion can be because of your hormones. You are extra sensitive.

Was having children ever discussed?
Maybe a counselor should be considered.

I'd love to say that once he sees this beautiful baby, it will all change, and actually it will, but not necessarily for the better. He needs to understand that you both need to be a solid foundation for this baby. A baby can make an unstable relationship worse.

If he has any doubt in his mind about wanting this baby, he needs to tell you!

Answer 3

a baby would not without delay make a happy residing house. A newborn makes a greater demanding residing house, and no remember if or no longer it relatively is happy relies upon on the commencing place you have already laid. Having a baby will convey greater excitement to an already stable courting, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that that's the element that motives a shaky courting to interrupt aside as quickly as and for all. If having a baby is the main extreme element to you, you may hit upon a companion who shares that priority. in case you have any choose to make this courting artwork, it won't happen with the aid of mendacity and tricking him into fatherhood. Being a ascertain is a extensive accountability, and it is not one somebody could ever be deceived into accepting. that isn't a stable time for a baby. That has to attend till you men are in a greater stable place and you the two choose it.

Answer 4

Hello sweety, I'm sorry to hear about that, it would be so nice if he was really happy, but I'll tell you what, you're not going to be the first single mum. If you stay with this guy, he'll probably make the life of your child miserable, that baby already exists and he or she should be loved since the very beginning. It's hard for me to believe that he asked you to get rid of the baby, that just shows you what a piece of crap he is. Darling there isn't love bigger than the love for your children, and they are the ones the really love you. You care about you and your little ones. You're very important, and you should be with a man who would be over the moon with this baby. This guy ain't good for you. Think of the many bad things it will happen in the future if you stay with him. Life isn't easy at all. And it isn't easy to be a single mum, but sometimes being a single mum is the best thing. Don't be afraid of leaving him. You'll see that everything will be allright. Dump that idiot. Your children need you more than anything in the world, and you should do anything to make them happy.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pregnancy like this!!

I would just sit down with him and tell him exactly what you just said. Be honest and get it out in the open. Let him know you don't believe he's happy. And that you don't want him to resent this baby. Tell him that it's okay to have insecurities and no one knows the future.

I think all me get stressed out at pregnancy. This is my second time being pregnant. And hubby is still stressing. At first I thought he was upset or something even though we were trying. But he said he was worried about how he would provide for us. Also he was worried about the satibility of his job. It's probably something along those lines.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

he sounds just scared and well he is a guy. Some guys are like that and baby stuff is not a guys favorite thing to talk about and i see your point how you feel about that buty it will be better cause his pride and joy will be around and if you talked bout it then there should not be problem if you guys tried. Just give it time you will see. As far as getting an abortion or adoption etc... I cant explain that. You just need to have a open conversation with no distractions and alone to talk and dont yell or get mad but just be open and tell him how you feel. If you cannot believe him then you dont trust him.

Answer 7

If he was truly unhappy about the baby he would not have stayed when you gave him the chance to get out of the relationship. When women are pregnant they are always watching their partner to see if they can tell if they are happy about the baby, and it can drive you crazy. Guys tend to worry more about the financial end of being a parent than the mothers, and it might just be that, and it is making it seem to you that he is not happy.

Answer 8

It could be that he doesn't know the "RIGHT" way to act, he's probably scared to death. Just let things be and after the baby is born i'm sure he will change his tune dramatically. Try not to read into every little thing he does or doesn't do it will make you crazyyyy. I hope things will get better for you good luck.

Answer 9

hi there. i felt the same way with our first. but we went through all the hoops to try and get pg and had to have surgery. he did not want to feel the kicks, did not ask a thing, and seemed like he was more interested in the dogs taking a crap then my baby. so we sat down and had a convo on this. he says bc it does not seem real to him. and when the baby came that is when his excitement kicked in. maybe he is the same way. i am apart of the ivillage expectant club for my month and alot of the women on there have the similar issues. you might like their support. they are wonderful ladies on there.

Answer 10

You know he may also be scared. A baby is a big responsibility...I am thinking he will probably change when he holds that baby for the first time and knows it is part of him. Try not to worry.