Situation: Saw her husband at a martini bar climbing all over this girl. I suspect they work together. When he saw me he froze. Next day showed up to take me to lunch, said no. Told me he would never ever cheat and begged not to tell my sister. Saw him a week later walking downtown with her.
Backgroud: Has hit on me. Passed it off as he is drunk.
My sister: Older and lets me know it all the time. Very competive and high strung. This could backfire but if she found out I knew anything at any point, she would be furious with me. If I say something she would not be thankful.
Goal: To keep drama out of the rest of my family and to remember that they have kids. But I hate what he's doing but I don't want to be the squeaky wheel unless I must.
Please wise people of Yahoo...I need some sound advice here.
2006-12-07 11:45:54 · 28 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She needs to know and you need to tell her. Reverse roles. What if she knew this information about your huband and never told you? My guess is, she probably already has a very good idea that her husband is a cheating pig. Most women have a gut instinct before it is ever confirmed. Just living in denial.
2006-12-07 11:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to ask yourself is what you would want if you were in your sister's situation. Would you want to know that information or would you preffer to stay ignorant and happy? Of course she will not be happy hearing that her husband is an a$$hole (she probably knows that already but doesn't want to admit it) but in my opinion, she will be even more upset later....I know you are considering the fact that they have children....but is he really a good father...what if his kids saw their dad walking downtown with that skank, what would they think? This is my advice to you...sit your sister down and tell her that there is a possibility that he "might" be cheating, don't tell her that he was all over another woman, just say that you saw them together at the bar with some other people, and then you saw them again downtown. So you are not completley giving it away but you are pushing her towards finding out the truth on her own. And later, if her husband questions you, you will be able to say that you didn't actually say that he was cheating, you just saw them together and casually mentioned it to your sister. I know this is a difficult situation to be in because it really isn't any of your business, its not your life and you feel like you shouldn't entrude...but if you love your sister (and obviously you do) you will open her eyes to the truth, but she will be the one responsible for actually seeing and accepting it. Good luck!
2006-12-07 12:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her. As a sibling it is an unspoken law to protect even if it does backfire on you. You let her know, put it out on the table, given her the info. What she does with it from there is her problem. You have to tell her though. Think if it were reversed, you'd want to know, right? She may not beleive you but it will make her question him, probably. Maybe it will scare him into not cheating again...probably not, but worth a try. Good luck, hard situation.
2006-12-07 11:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by jonesin_am 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know about him. If you dont tell her and she finds out later that you knew but didnt say anything, that'll really backfire. Shes obviously going to be hurt over this, but its better that you tell her, than for her not to know and it keep happening. I dont know if it'll be easier for you to have you, her and her husband in a room together and have him tell her, but either way, she needs to know. Just think of it as this way: how would you feel if your sister knew YOUR husband was cheating and she didnt want to tell you and you found out he was cheating and she never told you? Tell her, and assue her that you will be there for her. I wish ya the best of luck!
2006-12-07 11:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by PfcsBaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to jeopardize you relationship with your sister, because believe me he will get caught without your telling her. In fact, she may either know or suspect his cheating already, but needs to get proof for her benefit. Then there are some females who don't care as long as it's not thrown in their faces by being disrespected, and their family is being taken care of while this is happening. You continue to keep the peace by dealing with him as best you can, and let time take it's course.
2006-12-07 17:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How close are you and your sister? First of all is your relationship with your sister important to you? If so...take a picture of her so-called cheating husband...a picture speaks for itself.Just telling her may not solve the problem she may not believe you then the both of you will have problems not to mention her husband getting in between the both of you.Buy one of those disposable camera's they take good pics and they don't cost alot. Also if you really want to get him take a tape recorder the next time he wants to take you out for lunch.Be the detective.LOL...good luck!
2006-12-07 14:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by shuggabhugga05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her, I would get proof to back it up first. Sounds like she may not believe you without proof... If she finds out from someone else or in another way and finds out u knew and didn't say anything, that would be worse then her initial anger when u do tell her...
2006-12-07 11:51:39 · answer #7 · answered by sasifrass13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly it ought to no longer be basic, yet she is your sister and he or she merits to comprehend. So specific, i could say tell your sis good away. If she found out on her very own and then found out which you knew approximately her husband cheating, she could be harm.
2016-10-05 00:48:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him - I have the goods on you. Either you go to my sis and you confess or so help me god I will go alone. It'll be better if she hears it from you, but I will risk damaging our sisterhood for a while to make sure you get what's coming to you, because I will not stand for you cheating on my sister. You have 24 hours before I make the phone call.
Then if you have to have her go over phone records and credit card bills. They are dead giveaways.
2006-12-07 11:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her that he's cheating. Tell her what you saw and let her confront him with the information. If she wants to live that way thats up to her.
As for the kids, thats just no good, but any man would not cheat on his wife.
2006-12-07 11:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jim A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋