I wrote ths poem for English, any helpful ideas and critisism?

Question

They leave us so to the way we took,
As two in whom them were proved mistaken,
That we sit sometimes in the wayside nook,
With michievous, vagrant, seraphic look,
And try if we cannot feel forsaken.

Answer 1

First line makes no sense. Neither does the second. But that's just me. Second to last time--you look like a mischievous homeless unwanted person, with angel-like looks? But you still feel abandoned?

Write out in a sentence what you're trying to say with the poem, and perhaps we can give some more constructive criticism.

Answer 2

identify does not artwork for. the previous few lines experience like a finished cop out. the initiating replaced into mysterious yet then it have been given all superhero, which I enjoyed. a severe high quality metaphor yet i'm as of yet uncertain for what. Kill the 1st stanza, i think of. many times circumstances the 1st stanza is in basic terms getting the juices flowing. Stanza 2 is the place the strikes starts off and so initiate with the strikes. i could be slightly extra particular on your descriptions besides. Gloom? I advise taking a photo of that "gloom" and despite is interior the photograph placed that interior the poem. 0.33 stanza attempt dropping the 1st line. when you consider that we already know the 1st individual is in hardship. you do no longer might desire to describe that. nicely If I have been to edit it to grant it extra punch i might try this: moved quickly, you walk via the gloom (choose an define right here of something actual), The timber now rustle, A footstep, no longer yours, You look back into the darkness, Villians embody you, right here i'm, I block some punches, return some the comparable, I grab your hand and run into the rain, The final stanza falls flat for me as i discussed. i don't know what i'm anticipating i assume some selection approximately who those 2 characters know one yet another or why he saved her or something. Footsteps get closer, drawing close in the back of, we hit upon a turning and cover, the foosteps then fade, you check out my eyes, i check out yours, and then i awaken,

Answer 3

It sounds nice, but what the hell are you talking about??
Please try to use modern English, forget the rhymes and you'll have a better poem.

Answer 4

Who is "they?" and non-rhyming poems always have much more meaning.You need to be much more clear, and what you're saying makes no sense at all. Do you have ANY idea what you're talking about?

Answer 5

You missed out an s in mischievous.Just check your spelling before you hand it in. Souds okay.